The Journals of Elizabeth Green
by GloomFlower
Summary: What starts off as a summer project turns into a look at the Z/A through the eyes of a teenage girl as she begins her journey through life.
1. Chapter 1

This story is going to start out pretty slow. It will be mostly the scattered ramblings of a teenaged girl revolving around her home life, friends, school, work and church. It won't reflect a serious day by day narrative of the show until shortly after the barn incident, so it may seem a bit random and disconnected. Don't worry, it will all come together before the end.

This story is not meant to be preachy, but in the show Beth comes from a devoutly Christian home and I tried to reflect that. My religious background consists mostly of being a practicing Later Day Saint AKA Mormon. Although I am not completely ignorant of protestant or catholic religions; I am not familiar enough with them to be comfortable writing from another religious perspective. My own High school years revolved around my friends and family, Choir, early morning seminary at our chapel before carpooling to school, High school, homework, studying, the girls devotion activity meetings(Young Women) every Wednesday, church and school dances (Later Day Saints love to dance), summer jobs, Sunday church attendance, chores and pets. Not necessarily in that order.

I do not own The Walking Dead in whole or part other than my DVD's, which is the only way I can watch them because I do not get channels on my TV(long boring story about C-SPAN and how I broke our TV in the 90's that my husband will never let me live down) The only reason I know about Walking Dead is that My husband and I happened to be staying in a hotel the week after the pilot aired. We saw the pilot and the second episode and I was hooked. So…Please, please, please don't spoil season six for me. I'm waiting for the disks to come to a store near me, and enough time off from work to actually watch them. Thank you in advance for your consideration.

Please feel free to flame my grammar, spelling, plot, character portrayal and soforth, However I do not wish to debate doctrinal points. I already know most people don't agree with me and that is OK. I will respectfully ask that we agree to disagree. No human can force another human to read (or do) anything, so…if you don't like it you can choose not to read it.

Sorry for the long authors note. It is the only authors note I will write except for "For the disclaimer, please see the Authors Note at the beginning of Chapter 1.", until the epilog. Thank you for letting me entertain you for a little while, Happy Reading.

The Journals of Elizabeth Anne Green

Tuesday June 1st.

"Dear Diary" sounds so trite and overused I guess. "Dear Posterity" is kind of pompous. This is Sister Fansler's idea for summer vacation. She is always about "liken the scriptures unto yourselves." during seminary, and wants us to keep journals like Nephi. Also, everyone who makes 3 or more entries a week all summer will get a plate of chocolate chip cookies. No one makes chocolate chip cookies like she does. Maybe when I'm old, like 30, I'll find this and read it and remember what it was like to be young, so I'm not so hard on my kids.

My name is Elizabeth Anne Green. My father is Hershel Green, I am a sophomore at the same high school Daddy went to, and Grandpa, and his father. My family has lived on our farm for 5 generations and my Great, Great Grandfather helped build the first high school on Coweta County. My mother is Annette Green, but she was born a Tate, then she married a McCarter, then a Green She is my role model. My half sister is Margaret Della. My Dad's first wife died when Maggie was four. She is studying for her masters in biology at the University of Georgia. She will finish next year. My half brother Shawn Jacob is from my mothers first marriage. She divorced Shawn's dad when he was about 2. His dad is in jail forever, and my dad adopter him when he was 6. He is a missionary in California and will be back in three weeks.

Here's to Fansler Cookies.

Wednesday June 2nd

I really can't write much. Mama is taking me to the Young Women activity tonight. We are going to crochet more hats for the babies at one of the children's hospitals in Atlanta. We learned how last week. We are working on our good works value projects. I am bringing the dozen an'a half hats Mama and I made since last Wednesday. Next week an' the week after we're going to tie baby quilts. I'm looking forward to that. Mama says she don't got the patience for quiltin' but I've always wanted to try it.

Also, finals are tomorrow and Friday and so I am going to have some last minute cramming tonight and tomorrow for math. Math is my problem subject. Not that I do badly. It just takes a little extra. Thank goodness I have until Friday to study up. My best subjects are English and music. I am in the guitar class, which is kind of part of band. I also play piano. Mom taught all of us piano. She teaches four kids on Mondays.

My best friends are Jennifer Short and Gertrude Palmer. I hope to see Jennie tonight at church. Gertrude doesn't go to my church. She and her Mom go the Baptist church on the other side of town. Its real pretty, all white with a tall steeple that has a cross on the top, and stained glass windows. There is a huge cemetery on one side of it with a some statues of angels, and a big one of Jesus holding a lamb in the middle. In front they have a bench with the Ten Commandments on it.

One Autumn when we were younger, Angie, Susan and Tom, the pastors kids, and Maggie, Shawn, Gertie and I raked up a bunch of the leaves by the cemetery. Then we took turns burying each other in them. We buried Maggie, Shawn and Angie in the leaves. They were supposed to wait a few minutes for Susan, Tom, Gertie and I to hide and then come find us. Mrs. Haywood was driving by just as they jumped up out of those leaves by the front row of headstones. She thought the dead were rising from their graves. They scared her so bad nearly put her car in the ditch. She never did like Maggie or Shawn after that. She took them and Angie to Pastor Jim and warned him that "Those Mormon kids are going to corrupt your sweet Angie." As soon as she left he laughed great big belly laughs and asked all of us to move the leaves away from the cemetery before playing in them any more. Maybe we should do that again this fall. Its been a while since we did anything like that, the Miller kids would have fun with it. Maybe make it a Thing.

Time to go. More later.

Friday June 4th

Finals are over, and I'm officially a junior. I think I did pretty good. Jenny, Gertie, and I are going to see a movie at the theatre in Newnan, and then we are going to sleep over at Gertie's house. Tomorrow Gertie's Mom and Step-dad are going to Atlanta to do some shopping, and we are going to watch her siblings, Sampson and Delilah. They are seven and a real handful.

Maggie and I may be sisters but we are almost complete opposites. I barely come up to her shoulder. She isn't really thin but she's not fat either. She was very athletic in school, she played field hockey, softball, and basketball. I'm not. I'm klutzy and accident prone. Where I'm pale and blond, she is olive and brunette. My eyes are blue and hers are brown. She looks a lot like Daddy when he was younger, I'm more like my Mama. Maggie is studying for her masters in biology at the University of Georgia. She will finish her next year and then start Veterinary school. When she finishes she will take over Daddy's veterinary office. I want to study music or early childhood development. Maybe both? I can't decide. Maggie always wanted to be a vet just like Daddy. I'm not entirely sure what I want. That's another thing, Maggie always knows what she wants, and if Maggie wants something she goes out and gets it, she goes out and does things. She is never afraid to speak her mind. I'm shy and quiet, I don't take chances, I'm not adventurous, I'm not assertive either. I like to go about things quietly, under the radar.

Well, I guess I should get started on my outside chores before Daddy comes to remind me. "We all have jobs, Bethy, We don't get to complain." My outside chores are to take care of the chickens and the horses (Nervous Nelly, Jasper, Jack and Idabel), and make sure that Barney (our almost feral tomcat) has food. Maybe I will write the story of Barney sometime.

Sunday June 6th

We didn't make it to Newnan. Gertie's Grandma had a stroke so she and her little brother and sister are staying with us while Mr. and Mrs. Palmer go to see her at Grady Memorial Hospital in Atlanta. They will be staying with her aunt for the next couple of days.

We pulled out a bunch of old movies from Maggie's room. We hadn't seen most of them before. We kind of had a marathon. We started with "The Flight of Dragons". Sam wanted to see that one because it had a dragon on the cover. It was pretty OK. Lila picked out "The Last Unicorn".

Gertie wanted to see the old black and white version of "Dawn of the Dead". We thought it would be kind of corny because of bad special effects and lack of color, but it was so creepy we took it out of the VCR after 20 minutes and watched the "Princess Bride" instead. It is Jennie's favorite. She fell asleep during the fire swamp and I fell asleep sometime after Miracle Max. Gertie says she still doesn't know how it ends because she fell asleep too.

We woke up on the couch in a heap when Mrs. Palmer called to tell Gertie that they will be in Atlanta until Wednesday. Her grandma is going to go into a nursing home and it will take that long to decide on one, and set her grandma's affairs in order.

Mama got breakfast ready for Sam and Lila, while the rest of us got ready for church. Today is Fast and Testimony Meeting. You wouldn't know it to look at me, but, I love food. This is the hardest day of the month for me because I hate to skip a meal, and today I skip two. Breakfast, which Mama usually insists is the most important meal of the day, and Lunch which is more of a snack to tide us over to dinner.

Each month we dedicate our fast as a family to something. This month we were going to dedicate it to enough rain for our crops, but last night Daddy said we were going to dedicate it to Gertie's family, that they would be comforted and that they would be able to adjust to the changes in Mrs. Gilbert's health. Individually, I'm fasting that I passed my finals, because as long as there are tests, there will be prayer in school, and about school.

The other thing about fast and testimony Sunday is testimony meeting. Instead of having speakers anyone who wants to get up and say something can as long as it is related to doctrine, thankfulness, or how we have seen Gods hand in our lives. It is also supposed to take less than two minutes so that everyone who wants to can have a turn. Some people abuse it and use it to be preachy or complain about people they don't like, or things that annoy them, but usually it can be really funny or interesting.

I especially like when Brother Maxwell stands up. He never really has a topic, he just talks and tells stories that are really funny. Today he told a story about calf born missing a leg. It figured out how to walk without it. He said she turned out to be his best milker. She had just turned 17 when she passed away and he missed her so he told us about her. I think I really learned something from his story. Perseverance is important. It can make you stronger and keeps you from getting lazy. If that calf had given up and lied down she would have died of pneumonia by the next day. She must have had a hard time getting around but she got around and gave good milk and never kicked in her stall. I think whenever I'm having a hard time doing something and think I'm no good I'm going to think of that 3 legged cow.

Choir practice was great. Sister Donnelly had us work on "The Star Spangled Banner", and "My Country 'tis of Thee". We will sing them during the July 3rd sacrament meeting. I'm really excited.

Mama just came up and asked me to set the table. That means dinner is almost ready.

Monday June 7th

Girls can be so mean. I can't and won't date until I'm 16. It does not mean I'm a lesbian. It means I'm not going to lead someone on. I'm not going to "Go" with someone behind my parents back. They trust me and if they found out I went behind their backs that would destroy their trust in me. The purpose of dating is to find an eternal companion. It needs to be done carefully. Marriage is a serious thing. I want to make the right decision for me. I want to make decisions that I won't regret later. Sometimes I think Gertie and Jenny are the only people who really understand me. Gertie's parents would let her date if she wanted to but the guy she likes already has a girlfriend so she is just worshiping from afar. Jenny and I have the same beliefs about marriage and dating so she gets it. Why should it matter to the other girls anyway. I think it's harder for Gertie though. She gets bullied by association.

Nellie is going to foal any day now. She looks like she is bloated with colic, only bigger. When I run my hands along her sides I can feel the foal moving. Its kind of weird. I thought breeding her would be interesting but I really miss our morning rides. Its been a month since I rode her last; for now I'm riding Idabel, Isabel or Jasper while Nellie follows. Daddy said I shouldn't ride her until the foal weans. The foal might try to follow her and get stressed if it can't keep up or looses sight of her so I guess we won't ride together until around Christmas. Still, it's nice to just talk to her as I groom her. She has this way of looking at you like she understands what your saying.

Jack is the sire. He can be a bit mean if he doesn't know you or thinks he can boss you. I'm kind of scared to ride him. Daddy says he is just "spirited and shy". Jack is a rescue animal from the next county over. The people who had him couldn't afford to feed him. By the time the county came and took him he was skin and bones and had worms. Daddy nursed him for six months before he was strong enough to ride. At first he would shy and kick when people came near him but slowly he would let Daddy put the saddle on him and lead him on a leash. After a while Daddy added a sand bag to the saddle, then a second and a third for short walks. When he was comfortable enough he finally let Daddy sit in the saddle. Daddy would just sit and pet him, and Jack would just stand and graze. Jack is eleven years old. He has lived with us for five years and you would never know he had hard beginnings. Daddy says people and horses are a lot alike. If a horse is treated rough he will be prickly and blustery to protect himself. He will have a hard time trusting. People are the same. I don't think I've ever met anyone as prickly and blustery as Jack.

Tuesday June 8th

I am a daughter of my Heavenly Father who loves me. I don't need to worry about what Brandy says to me or about me. Only two more days until I don't have to see or hear her.

Wednesday June 9th

Today in our Young Women's Meeting we tied 5 baby quilts. While we did that Sister Vogel talked to us about choosing an eternal partner. We were encouraged to make a list of the attributes we would like in our eventual husband. This is what I wrote:

Cute. I don't want to marry a scruffy guy. I want a husband who is clean shaven and looks good in a suit. He has to be a gentleman, polite, not use profanity, be considerate, like babies and should be good with kids, thoughtful and kind. I also want to marry a returned missionary. I want a man who will lead our family in the gospel, holds the priesthood and follows the "Words of Wisdom". That means he will be sober and not smoke or drink coffee or tea. I also want a husband who is a hard worker and will be able to support our family so that I can stay home and nurture our children.

Well, after we wrote out our lists Sister Vogel talked to us about how we can't expect more out of others than we expect of ourselves. She wants us to use Smart Goal methods to work on attaining the qualities we want in our husband. We are to pick which two things we think are most important so I am going to work on having a better work ethic and being more considerate to others, so…

S Specific. I'm going to improve my work ethic by getting a job this summer, and helping Mama around the house more.

M Measurable. I will ask to be scheduled for at least 20 hours per week. I will do all the laundry and learn to mend and iron.

A Attainable. Yes

R Realistic and Relevant. Yes

T Time bound. I will begin filling out applications tomorrow. I will ask Mama to show me how to do the mending tomorrow, because Thursdays are when she does it, and help with ironing on Monday and let her know I intend to take over the laundry on Wednesdays. I will evaluate my stick-to-it-iveness on the 22nd.

S Specific. I will be more considerate of others by being a better listener and being more tactful.

M Measurable. I will count "one one thousand, two one thousand, three one thousand" when someone stops talking before rushing in to say my piece and consider how to better word things.

A Attainable. Yes but challenging

R Realistic and relevant. Barely and yes

T Time bound. I will try it out tomorrow at school and see how it goes. It takes 30 days to set a habit and 3 to break one so I will evaluate my progress on July 8th.

I guess I will write about how it goes tomorrow.

Thursday June 9th 2011

Today was a good day, the best day, the last day of school is here! I told Jennie and Gertie about my SMART goals; Mostly so they can help me by saying "count" to remind me if I forget. I told them about wanting to get a job because Mom likes me to be with someone when I'm not home. "Safety in numbers.", is one of her favorites. I needed one of them to come with me to get applications. Gertie and Jennie both came with me because Gertie wants to get a summer job too and thought it would be cool if we both got jobs for the summer, especially if we could work together. Jennie has been a clerk at Little Sue since last summer. It would be so fun. This is where we applied: Food Lion, IGA and Farm Fresh grocery stores, Little Sue and 7 11 gas stations, 3 restaurants, a donut place and Tiny Tots Daycare. The nursing home needs volunteers but it smelled weird.

Mama agreed to teach me to do mending. We patched up a pair of Daddy's kaki pants. Mama showed me how to stitch the rip together with basting, put it on an embroidery hoop, stitch it to the patch and satin stitch over it so you can barely tell it is there. The square patch is on the inside carefully stitched down so it won't make wrinkles. Mama said sometimes you can put pretty embroidery over rips instead of plain stitching, but flowers and such would cramp Daddy's style. I also cut up one of Daddy's old work shirts for rags. Mama said the cloth was so threadbare that patching would do no good. She had me cut the buttons off to put in her button jar. Then I fished a button out to replace one that had come off a blouse. I also watched her darn a sock with her ball shaped pin cushion. She called it a daring mushroom. She says most socks are frustrating because the threads are thin to pick up and re-weave. Most people don't bother. She told me next time a sweater has a run, or a pair of hand knit socks needs fixed she will let me do it because it will be a lot easier. I really liked mending. Mama and I got to talk a lot, and guess what! Mama is going to teach me to sew. She is going to let me use her sewing machine, and she is goin'ta help me make a summer dress tomorrow.

I remembered to count to 3 one thousands. Gertie and Jennie were good enough to remind me and after a while I didn't need reminding as much. I also had a chance to really listen to them. I think Gertie is a lot more worried about her Grandma than she has been letting on. Her parents picked her and the twins up this evening. They are going to stay with her aunt and cousins in Atlanta. She is probably going to spend most of the time visiting her grandma in the nursing home and babysitting Sam, Delilah and her cousins.

Jennie also seems to be excited that Shawn will be back from California in a few more weeks. Apparently she and Shawn have been writing each other for almost a year and I never knew. It's amazing what I can learn by not jumping to open my mouth.

Well, TTFN

Friday June 10th

Mama took me to turn in my applications and then we went to Piece Goods to get a sewing pattern and pick out cloth. I picked out M6346. It's supposed to be easy, says so right on the envelope. The cloth is a creamy butter yellow with periwinkle blue morning glories all over. I am making view D.

I read the instructions 3 times on the way home. Mama and I laid out the pieces the way the instructions showed. She explained warp and weft and grain and bias and the effect they have on how the cloth drapes. She showed me how to pin down the pieces. She told me it is important to cut carefully because you can't fix a cutting mistake. You have to buy new cloth and start again. The first thing we did after we cut the pieces out was transfer the markings from the pattern to the cloth pieces then I got to use her sewing machine to zigzag around the edges to keep the cloth from fraying.

Mama helped me set the darts in the back skirt pieces, stitch the back skirt pieces to the back yoke pieces, and set in the zipper. She made me pick it out 3 times. I was ready to quit but I finally understood what she meant about the seam allowances and left enough space to stitch the facings to the inside near the zipper cloth without gapping. That zipper was so frustrating that once it was done I folded it up to finish tomorrow.

Jennie and I are going to turn in our applications in about 2 hours. I don't know when I'll be getting back so I need to get started on chores. Day 2 of counting 3 one thousand is going ok.

Saturday June 11th

I told Daddy about the SMART goals I'm working on. He thinks they are good goals. I told him about all the applications I put in around town. Daddy asked me if I would like to work as a receptionist at the veterinary office, and clean out cages, and do filing and set appointments. I will be working from 8am until 3 pm. After 2:30 Daddy does house calls for livestock and such. Maggie did the same thing for Daddy when she was in high school, but she also went on house calls and helped with the animals in the clinic. I don't know if I want all the gory details about the insides of critters.

I can't wait to tell Jennie. We are going to have a sleep over at her house Monday night. We are going to sleep on her trampoline under the mosquito net watching the stars. Beatrice (her older sister) and Tiffany(her cousin) are going to sleep out with us. We are going to do nails before it gets dark. Tiffany is really good at doing nail art.

Mama and I did the front facings on the dress today. She sat back and watched me set the darts, and helped me pin the sleeves and sides. Then she watched me make the side seams. Heming and adding the ruffle was easy. I'm going to wear it to church tomorrow.

Monday June 13th

Well, I've been up since O'dawn early cause I had to get my chores done before work. Work. So, working with Daddy was kind of interesting, sort of. When we got to the clinic Daddy showed me where the cages are. Daddy only does surgeries Monday through Thursday so that no one needs to check on the animals over the weekend, except for in emergencies. Daddy set up a log in for me on the computer and showed me the cleaning closet and animal feeds, and gave me a tour of the small kennel and stable where the livestock are kept.

Marcella showed me the paperwork, how to take payments, how to use the computer to schedule appointments and the filing systems. She is Daddy's part time receptionist. She works Mondays and weekends, and does the payroll and collections.

Frank Pierce is another vet that works with Daddy. He has been working with Daddy for three years. He started working for Daddy when he was doing clinicals and decided to stay. There are also three veterinary techs, Veronica, Tammy and Lou.

Once I got the hang of it, it was pretty easy. Ironing is pretty easy too. Just quickly monotonous. I think that as long as I can keep my mind from wandering I should do OK. I just hope I don't scorch another sheet. Mama says she will show me how to patch it without it being noticeable for what it is Thursday.

TTFN

Tuesday June 14th

I had so much fun at Jennie's last night. Tiffany did every ones nails with this stuff she calls gel. We had to put our hands under a special light to harden. She made mine pale pink with light green and gold leaves. She took pictures for the class she is taking. She hopes to graduate in two more weeks so that she can start working as a nail tech. After we had our nails done Jennie and I braided every ones hair while we watched a movie, and then we listened to boy bands.

It was great laying outside on the trampoline. Beatrice showed us the different constellations and talked about how women have often been compared to the moon because most women can track their cycle by the moon. That is also why the moon is so prominent in pagan fertility rites. Most civilizations based their calendars by the cycles of the moon up until the Edwardian Calendar was introduced. She showed us the north star and talked about navigation by the stars. She knows lots of stuff about the stars because she worked at the planetarium the last two summers. She starts back for this summer next week. Sometimes when she starts talking about the really technical stuff that's over my head I get bored. I fell asleep listening to her.

I am so glad I have a phone. Daddy insists that I have it with me when I'm not home so I can call for help if I need it. Its just a flip phone but it saved my bacon. I would have slept in and been late getting to work if the alarm hadn't woken me up. I actually managed to get there just as Daddy finished parking. He told me Uncle Otis and Aunt Patty would be over with Jimmy this afternoon and that they would be staying for dinner. Mama wanted me to come straight home after work to help her cook and clean. I'm really excited that they're coming. Patty promised she would teach me her fried apple recipe next time she came. Her exact words were, "I'll show you how one time. If you can't remember after that, you're out'a luck." I had to promise not to give it to Mama, and Mama doesn't mind as long as I make it whenever she asks me. I think Mama is going to get fat. I intend to write it down, because I am a scatter brain and will forget how to make them as soon as she leaves if I don't.

Wednesday June 15th

Today was really busy at work. The whole day people were calling for last minute appointments, mostly to spay cats and dogs. One person needed their turtles beak and claws trimmed ( never realized you needed to trim turtle beaks). I'm still counting before I talk. It really helped with figuring out what people needed for their pets, especially the turtle.

Well, as I was going to take over doing the laundry I have to say, I never knew how much clothes and linens 3 people can wear in a week. I declare Daddy must change his pants and socks 2 or 3 times a day. Mama says its too hot out to be using the drier so I hauled the laundry outside to hang out. There was a good breeze going and it wasn't so humid so the laundry was mostly dry before dark. If I'm going to work on Wednesdays I think I should make sure I'm up in time to hang it all up before I go to work. If the weather had been more humid or had less breeze I would have had to run more of it though the drier than the towels.

Patty's Fried Apples

1 stick of unsalted butter ½ cup brown sugar

1 Tbs. cinnamon 1 dash vanilla

1 dash of salt 1 tsp nutmeg

½ tsp mace ½ tsp soda

¼ tsp cream of tartar 4 apples sliced. Granny Smith are best.

Melt butter and sugar together in a pan with spices, soda and cream of tartar. Add apples cook till tender.

In Young Women we talked about the parable of the mustard seed and how a mustard seed starts out very small, but if it is nurtured it will grow into a giant tree. Then we talked about different things we can do to grow our faith while we tied the last of the baby quilts. We also had an informal planning session for Girls Camp. Saturday at 9am we are going to meet at church and carpool to the fire department in Noonan to get CPR certified for camp. We were also given our packing lists and camp manuals.

Thursday June 16th

Mama showed me how to mend the sheet I scorched. I stitched a square of cloth over it with a basting stitch. Then I embroidered ivy and flowers around the scorched area. After that I turned it over and cut away the scorched cloth and trimmed it really close to the embroidery with a pair of tiny sharp scissors. Then I turned it over again and trimmed the outer edge of the patch close to the embroidery. The embroidery took about three hours but I think the sheet looks prettier now than before I scorched it.

Saturday June 18th

Well, I am CPR certified for another year. It is really supposed to be good for two years but we do it yearly so that it is fresh in our minds. I'm sure the moms at church are glad we are certified. I guess it ensures that their children are more likely to survive us babysitting them. It has been such a busy week. I'm glad that after I finish my chores, there is nothing that I HAVE to do for the rest of the day. I think I'll go get started on them so that Isobel and I can go for a ride to the pond, and I can read some of "Dragon Song", before going back.

Monday June 20th

Mama and I made cornbread, but not just any cornbread. We made her special deluxe cornbread with cream corn, chilies, bacon pieces, and onion in it. Then she put grated cheddar cheese on top. Mama always serves it with sour cream on top next to salt pork jowls and beans. I think its my favorite meal.

Mama helped me cut out another dress today. I finished everything but the hemming. I'll do that tomorrow after work. Its pink with white cherry blossoms and little Hello Kitty's all over it. Childish? Yes. Do I care? No. Its Hello Kitty. You can never be too old for Hello Kitty. Plus, the fabric was on sale.

I managed the ironing without scorching anything this time. Mama showed me how to use her sleeve board and hams to iron curves. Kind if tricky, but, Mama says that once I get the hang of it, it will be a piece of cake.

Still counting three one thousand and it's getting easier to remember. I think I've picked up on most of what's going on in town just listening to conversations at work. I'm not eaves dropping exactly, its just hard to not listen to what people say in the lobby about their lives and the people they know.

What I've learned since I started keeping my mouth shut and my eyes and ears open:

Mrs. Jenkins was cheating on her husband with Sam Frye and her husband came home early, so she ain't gunna be Mrs. Jenkins much longer, and is now staying with Mr. Frye. I'm pretty sure this is true because Sam Frye related the tale to James Baker while they were waiting on their appointments.

Agatha Monroe had twin girls last week. She had been expecting one boy.

Brandi Mattney got a tattoo on her bottom. Her mother found out because it got infected and she wouldn't sit. Her mother forced the reason she wouldn't sit out of her. She will be on antibiotics for another week and is grounded from hanging out with bad influences. Her Mother was telling Mandy Pierce that if she don't shape up she is going to be sent to live with her aunt in Nebraska. (I know its wrong but I smiled when I heard it.)

Justin Pierce joined the Piece Corp and left for Peru Friday.

Janet Anderson and Willie Hogges are getting married in September.

Well, that was the most interesting stuff, I would write more but I have chores to do before it gets late.

Wednesday June 22nd

Maggie is coming home Friday morning. She is going to drive to the airport with us to get Shawn. I'm so excited! I haven't seen him in two years except for pictures. Mama has been on a major cleaning spree and I'm glad I can go to Daddy's office to escape from it.

Laundry duty went better this time. I got up 2 hours early so that I could run it through the washer and hung out before daddy was ready for us to go to the clinic.

Jeanne Johnson called Mama this morning because she wanted to come to but its kind of a family moment. She has been writing him every week since he left. Mama dissuaded her by telling her that his luggage would take up any extra room in the car, which is true. I think Mama wants Shawn to wait a bit before settling down, and finish his Agriculture degree.

I think Mama and Daddy are counting on him to take over the farm soon, but, Shawn told me he wants to try to do some ranch management in Montana or Wyoming before he takes over. He has always been more interested in livestock than crops.

I have a hard time picturing Jeanne and Shawn settling down together. Shawn is so down to earth, steady and reliable. Jeanne is the epitome of fashionista, superficial, trifling, airhead. She is right in the middle of the "I'm more Mormon than you." game. I hope that he does go west if he marries her, if he took over the farm right away, I would have to live with her. Yuck!

I think it would be great if he married Jenny. Jenny is my favorite pick. It would be like a never ending slumber party. Plus, she has had a crush on him for years, she is a pretty good cook, she knows a bit about how the farm runs, and Mama loves her. I think it has a better chance of happening since he has been writing Jennie weekly or more. He only writes Jeanne monthly and addresses it to her family et al, not to Jeanne.

I want to go riding with him and take him to all of our old spots and play video games with him. It will be so fun. I want to tell him about what Scott Price did to the statue of Mainer Christon, show him the new skateboard park in Newnan, and get him to make Grandma Green's vinegar barbecue that he won't tell anyone the secret to because he promised her.

Well, Mama's call'n me. More later.

It's been 2 weeks since I set my smart goals so here is my progress:

I got a job. It's going OK.

I've been doing the mending. It's been nice sitting with Mama learning to fix stuff. Mama says I have a talent for it. I'm learning to sew, embroider and darn.

I've done the washing twice. I will never take washing machines for granted. Can you imagine how long it would have taken to wash Daddy's pants by hand? All day I would think.

I've gotten lots better at listening. I hardly have to even think about 3 one-thousand any more. Well most of the time.

I guess if I keep doing well when I evaluate again in 2 more weeks I will pick out 2 new goals.

Good night.

Thursday June 23rd

Not much time to write. Mama's cleaning spree has me worn out. My hands are so pruned up they may never be the same. Hopefully they will dry out a little by the time I finish the mending. I ripped the side of my pants and I'm going to embroider morning glories up the leg where the rip is. It will probably take a few days to finish it but I think it will be really pretty when it's done. Before I start that Mama is going to teach me about darning. Daddy's blue variegated sweater got caught on a fence a few months ago and it got lost behind the drier. Mama found it during her cleaning spree when she pulled out the washer and drier to mop behind. Mama says it will be a simple project to learn the basics of darning with. I need to finish it by Tuesday so I can stain treat it and soak it so that it will come clean when I do laundry.

Tomorrow is the big day. Maggie will be here at 7am even though we don't have to worry about Shawn's flight until 2 o'clock in the afternoon. Daddy closed the veterinary office for the day and Dr. Pierce is going to cover emergencies. Since I have tomorrow morning off Maggie is taking me out for some catch up girl time. We are going to get our nails done and go out to lunch. Its going to be so nice.

Friday June 24th

Today has been such a long day. It was wonderful. Maggie and I have matching nails, pale pink with white glitter. We had Chinese takeout and ate it in the park. We went on the swings even though we are too old. We managed to get back 5 minutes before it was time to go to the airport.

Jennie beat us by 15 minutes and was wearing a bright green t-shirt that said "Welcome Home Elder Green" in gold letters. She had one for each of us to wear to the airport. Almost no traffic plus a flight delay had us waiting by the luggage conveyers for almost an hour and a half. He was a little taller than I remembered and had a smidgen of pudge on him but was otherwise the same as I remembered him. We were all surprised when he walked up to Jennie and went down on one knee and proposed. I don't think she was expecting that. She just started bawling. They are going to get married in the Atlanta Temple after she graduates next spring. Best of all is that she wants me to make her cake.

Saturday June 25th

Shawn was up early and had finished mucking half of the stable by the time I had finished checking the chickens' water, filling up their feeders, and collecting and washing the eggs. Working on the rest of the stable went really fast and we were able to go riding together. I rode Isabel and he took Jack. Jack didn't give him a lick of trouble either. Shawn insisted on inspecting each pasture and field, the pond and along the creek. We got back just in time for lunch.

After lunch Maggie and I helped Mama in the kitchen. It's nice having everyone together. Maggie and I started on a jigsaw. Its going to be pretty when its done. It will look like a field of flowers with an old fashioned wind mill in the distance. About the time we stalled out on making any more progress it was time to start on supper, so Mama sent us out to the garden to collect early greens.

Before supper was ready Shawn ran in, ran through the shower and ran out again calling out that he would be eating with the Short's. I suppose he is going to be over there a lot, and they will likely be here a lot too…exceptin that Jennie won't be coming over for any sleepovers until after the wedding. Daddy says if they decide to stay on the farm he will do renovations on the cottage on the southern edge of the main cow pasture. All it needs is a roof and the driveway regraveled. It is one of 3 houses and a house trailer that are part of the farm. He usually has them rented out to cover the taxes on the farm, and a little extra for their upkeep, but he thinks having Shawn close to help on the farm will be worth the loss of income on the property. He mentioned that he might expand the stable and rent out the additional stalls to make up the gap this fall.

Daddy wants me downstairs for scriptures and prayer. We are in Psalms. Those are my favorite.

Sunday June 26th

Shawn was asked to speak in church about his mission, and after the meeting he was officially released from his missionary service. Jennie and Shawn aren't going to announce their engagement for a week or so. She and Shawn want to get her engagement ring first. It's kind of fun having a secret and knowing what no one else knows.

I heard from Gertie this afternoon. She will be home Wednesday. Her Grandma is doing a lot better and likes her nursing home. Apparently 2 of her best childhood friends whom she had lost contact with years ago are in the very nursing home she is in, and they are having a blast. She has had an amazing recovery. Gertie says her Grandma hasn't been so active or happy since before her Grandpa passed away.

To celebrate her homecoming she wants Jennie and I to have a sleep over at her house Thursday. I can hardly wait. Jennie intends to tell her about the engagement at the sleepover. I think Gertie will be as surprised as we all were.

Its kind of weird to think that a year from now one of us will be married. I'm really happy, but I'm also nervous that Jennie and I will change. The idea of growing up is thrilling and scary. Jennie is a year older than Gertie and I but I've never noticed it before now. She was always going to graduate first, go off to college first and get married first but it seemed so vague and far away. Now its rushing at me like a train. I'm glad she's going to be family though. I have one child hood best friend I won't end up out of contact with for fourty years to be reunited with in a nursing home.

Monday June 27th

Turns out that Maggie is only taking two classes this summer and their both online so she won't be going back to Atlanta until the fall. Since Shawn is back he has announced that I no longer need to tend the horses, its his job and he wants it back. I insisted on tending Nellie and he has relented on that point.

Friday Daddy, Uncle Otis, Uncle Linden, and Brother Short are going to do the layout and foundation for addition to the stable. They intend to make it large enough for 8 stalls a tack room and an office. The old tack room is going to be turned into a powder room. They are going to have Newnan Mechanical do the plumbing.

The clinic went like clockwork. Daddy went to check the fences with Shawn as soon as we get home. Mama was out visiting teaching with Sister Bradley when I came in the house, and left me instructions on how to start supper and that she would be home in time to get it finished. Maggie was out with some of her friends but would be home in time for supper. Jennie had her shift at Little Sue. It was rare. I am almost never home alone, and as childish as it may seem, and its creepy. I turned on the radio in the kitchen and suddenly Shania Twain was singing. I went into the parlor and turned on television, it was on commercials. I grabbed Mama's mending basket and came up here and set the alarm so I wouldn't forget to start dinner. I pretended that everyone was being noisy downstairs and finished the mending. Just one button. I can't think of anything else write and I have 20 minutes until I need to start supper, and I have the family home evening activity ready. I can't stand all this quiet, I'm going to go visit Nellie.

Tuesday June 28th

It has occurred to me that Nephi described in his journal how he came by it and that he also had other journals. Nephi found ore and from the ore he refined gold and beat it into plates or leafs and bound them together into a book.

I bought this journal at the office supply in Newnan for $1.25. Originally it was intended for English, but it turns out that Ms. Bartlow has all of our homework assignments and classroom assignments formatted onto worksheets, and according to Jennie, she has been using the same ones since she started teaching in 1984. Maggie also had Ms. Bartlow and she showed me where she kept her old ones filed away, so I know its true.

I love royal blue and I love glitter. That is why I picked out this one. It has a solid royal blue glitter cover, 150 spiral bound pages and 2 dividers so it can be used for up to 3 subjects. It's college ruled so I can write more on a page. I've never had another journal. Mama kept a baby book about me, and there are tons of pictures and albums but this is the only journal so far.

When I finish filling this one up I might go back and get one of those fancy leather ones with the gold on the page edges and ribbon ties or maybe a Lisa Frank one with a built in lock, but for now this one will do. Besides, I don't think anyone knows I'm keeping a journal and even if they did, my family isn't nosey, so I don't need a lock. Besides, locks only keep honest folk honest. Dishonest people will just bust one up. This journal isn't really a secret either it just hasn't come up. I'm not hiding it. I've been keeping it on my vanity table in plain sight. There's not even anything in it that's secret. Personal maybe, but, nothing that people don't already know.

I smell bread baking so here is some more common knowledge non secret but personal tidbit. Nothing is as good as a fresh loaf of bread and the best part is the heel still warm with butter and a little bit of peach preserves. It's 'specialy good if you sneak it. I'm no good at sneaking and always get caught, but Mama doesn't mind as long as I don't cut the ends off all the loaves. I've been brought to the understanding that it's greedy and selfish. It also makes the loaves dry out and they need to last through Monday.

Wednesday June 29th

I just realized that my birthday is in 5 more days. Usually I have a sleepover with Gertie and Jennie but I can't this year. Since Jennie and Shawn are engaged she can only stay until 10pm. Maybe we could have the sleepover at Jennie or Gertie's house.

Gertie is supposed to come home at about 2 o'clock. I can hardly wait! Maybe Daddy will let me leave the clinic if things aren't busy.

Oh there is the washers buzzer. More later.

Friday July 1st

Goodness, I wish I could draw as well as I make music. The look on Gertie's face was priceless when Jennie told her about the engagement. I'm glad I got to see it. We spent the rest of the evening looking at wedding gowns.

Gertie was real disappointed on the brides maid front. Generally speaking, bridesmaids are kind of an honorary thing. Since Jennie and Shawn are going to the Atlanta Temple to be married there won't be an isle to walk down with a bouquet of flowers, escorted by grooms men. Jennie will have an escort through the temple. Probably her Mom. Shawn went before his mission so he won't have one. Gertie and I won't be able to go to the actual wedding because Gertie isn't a member of the church and I cant go into the temple because I still won't be old enough. All we really get to do is help plan the reception which will be partially catered and partially pot luck. And we get to wear brides maids dresses in the wedding colors.

Jennie is leaning towards orange and yellow. That's no surprise since those are her favorite colors. She even found roses that are orange and yellow with red tinges that look like fire.

Gertie spent most of her time in Atlanta hanging out with her cousin May. May took her to get her hair cut. It is sort of tapered half way down on one side and shaved with a flower carved into it and goes down to her shoulder on the other side. Apparently her mom was pissed. Her hair had been past her waist. I think it suits her, its kind of cute in a punkish kind of way. And how the flower is kind of carved on the side is kind of neat. I don't think I could pull that look off, but I don't have her flamboyant sense of style either. I'm t-shirts, jeans, cowboy boots and pony tails. Sundresses and hats too.

Gertie bought us both hair chalk. That's how she got the blue streaks in her hair. I love it and it's a great way for me to get around Mama's rule about having to be 17 to dye my hair. Jennie really likes it because it shows up really well in her hair without needing to bleach it first. She tried out the yellow and orange and really popped against her black hair.

We talked about venues for my birthday slumber party and Jennie wants to have it at her house because she feels like its her fault it cant be at my house. It is, but I don't mind. I'm so super excited about the wedding that I don't care. There will be 8 other girls, not including Jennie's 2 little sisters. The decorations are going to be blue and green and so is the cake. I'm also going to bring lime sherbets because it's my favorite.

We spent most of the evening watching movies, catching up and planning games for my birthday party, and so I'm ready for a nap. Even if it is only 3 in the afternoon.

Saturday July 2nd

It has been swelteringly hot today. All the windows and doors are open to let the breezes through. I wish we could get air conditioners but Daddy says window units are hard on the wood sills and will cause moisture rot, and venting a central unit would be expensive and problematic. It's also a good excuse to sit on the porch drinking Mama's lime aid and listening to Maggie tell me about her last semester.

I now know all the finer points of flirting and how to friend zone someone without hurting their feelings. I know which professors to watch out for and which ones are fun and interesting. I also know that I never want to experience dorm life, or room mates in general. I can't believe that Maggie went 3 weeks sponge bathing and using waterless shampoo to avoid a creep that was stalking her in the co-ed bathroom. My sister knows how to pee in a bottle without missing a drop and she explained the technique so well that I'm sure I could do it too now. I hope I never have occasion to. She learned from a college friend in her freshman year.

She gave me her proven techniques to keep rude roommates from stealing you food, "borrowing" your stuff, and how to keep roommates and others from having sex on your bed. Maggie even went and got her "Bed Saver" to show me. It consists of thousands of roofing nails punched through a yoga mat, spaced half an inch apart with another yoga mat glued against the back to keep the nails in place. There are a set of ties at each end and in the middle so you can attach it firmly to your bed. Tie it with a quick release knot against the wall and toss a thin blanket over it and no one will ever even sit on your bed without permission more than once. To untie it put your pillow where you intend to lean over it and pull the tie ends to unhitch and tuck it under your bed far enough that you won't step on it in the morning. It looks like a freakishly mid-evil torture device with a lavender and pink floral twist.

Community College looks better and better. I have to wonder if Mama put her up to it to avoid empty nesting for a few more years. My Mama is diabolical. I have choir practice in an hour for tomorrow. We are going to sing "The Star Spangled Banner" and "My Country Tis of Thee" with "God Save The Queen" They have the same tune and so for the final verse one half of the choir will sing "God Save the Queen" while the rest of the choir continues with "My Country 'tis of Thee". I'm not sure how well it will be received since the revolutionary war was fought against the British, however, the chorister is Canadian.

Monday July 4th

Happy Birthday Me! I'm 16. OK not really, but I will be at 1:45 this afternoon. Mama has been working on my cake so it will be ready to take over to Jennie's house later. Maggie went to get the decorations.

Shawn and I went for a ride together this morning. It was nice and peaceful. I told him about Maggie's "Bed Saver". He laughed and said he wished he had thought of something like that. He thinks she should patent it and have it marketed. He told me about how the cows are doing, about the progress the made on the addition already. At the rate they are going it should be finished in another 2 weeks. The only hold up he can possibly see is waiting for the inspection on the structure Friday. He is looking forward to finishing so that he can start work on the house. He intends to re-gravel the drive if there is time between when they finish the frame up and when the USDA inspector and County Code Office inspector can come see it.

I probably shouldn't be writing at work. There goes the phone.

Tuesday July 5th

We had so much fun. Almost 30 people from Jennie's, Gertie's and my classes showed up. I wasn't expecting nearly so many people. We watched the county fireworks display from Jennie's back yard. Our dads set up a grill and barbequed ribs, hamburgers, hotdogs and corn on the cob. Daddy and Brother Short played a couple of old bluegrass songs, Daddy on his old fiddle and Brother Short on the banjo. Then Shawn put on a country station and asked Jennie to dance, and that was like a signal to everyone else. Daddy and Brother Short broke the party up at a quarter after 10, at which point everyone but Gertie, Sara Whitley, Megan Sternkoff, Amber Yonk, Zaria Carter and Carrie Montros packed up and went home. We played games and watched movies until early, and slept in until 9 o'clock. Gertie and I stayed to help cleanup after the other girls left.

I'm tuckered out.


	2. Chapter 2

For the disclaimer, please see the Authors Note at the beginning of Chapter 1

The Journals Of Elizabeth Anne Green

Chapter 2

Wednesday July 6th

I think I have a working laundry system. If I hang the sheets from two lines side by side and then hang sheets over both lines it takes up less space on the line and I can have a shady spot to read and write in. It channels the cooling breezes over to me and no one can see me. Table cloths work well too. The light through them is so pretty, like from the stained glass windows in the chapel of The First Southern Baptist in Newnan. I used to think Mama did this just for me because I liked playing hide and seek. Now I think she did it for the shade and breeze. While the linens are damp they cool the air a bit. Works almost like a swamp cooler.

Even at seven in the morning it was hot and humid. I get a little bored answering phones, making appointments, and taking payments at the clinic, but, I really enjoy the air conditioner. For the air conditioning I will clean out the cages and feed and exercise the animals. I would do it for free just to bask in the cool, but I won't tell Daddy that. Lammas spit, did you know that? Totally Gross! And they are not in the air conditioning. That's why I won't work for air conditioning, Because some times I have to go out of the air conditioning and catch giant boogies with my clothes and hair.

In Young Women we talked about the worth of souls and the divine nature of women. We are going to work on our Divine Nature Value projects. In Young Women we work on Value Projects kind of like merit badges. The values we work on are Faith, Devine Nature, Individual Worth, Knowledge, Choice and Accountability, Good Works, Integrity, and Virtue. It is to encourage us to be strong women and know the importance of our roles as women in the church.

This month we are working on Devine Nature. We were supposed to list ways to develop our Devine Nature and pick one to make a SMART goal. Having a divine nature means to be diligent in having charity for others. Charity is the true love of Christ so it means to look at people the way Christ would, with patience, kindness, and compassion. I think I need to be more diligent in being compassionate and patient with others.

I especially need to be compassionate toward Maggie. Maggie is Daddy's Prodigal Child. When she was a teenager she ran around with some rough people. She experimented a lot with drugs and sex. Mama and Daddy were worried. When she was 17 she got pregnant and didn't know it until she ended up in the hospital from an overdose and miscarried. It was the turn around she needed. She went to the Bishop and had counseling. She agreed to be disfellowshiped for a while, and chose to go through a formal repentance. People knew the shenanigans she had been up to. She hadn't been very discreet at all. Because of all that some people at church treated her a bit cold. That made coming back difficult for her. For a month or so Maggie quit going altogether. She turned 18 and was counted as part of the Relief Society. Because of encouragement and compassion from her visiting teachers and the Relief Society President She started coming to church again.

I think for my goal that I will try to be kind to everyone, Especially Brandy. To help myself do this I will write 3 good things about the people who I get annoyed with, and then try to focus on those things.

Specific-I will focus on 3 positive things about a person when I get annoyed with them

Measurable- Yes 3

Attainable- Yes

Relevant-Yes

Time bound Yes 2 weeks.

How hard can it be?

1.) Brandy is really good at drawing people.

2.) Brandy good at gymnastics.

3.) Brandy never backs down when she has an opinion.

By the way, took 20 minutes to find 3 things. I'm glad I didn't decide to do four.

Thursday July 7th

I finished embroidering the morning glories up the rip in my pants. I can't wait to wear them tomorrow. They turned out nicely. Shawn is hard on his clothes. I know why Mama was always complaining about him before he left now that I have charge of the mending basket. Has been back barely a week and has already ripped two shirts (one was just on the seam), and caught himself in the barbed wire while mending a fence ripping through his pants and underwear.

Mama said I am ready to put together my own sewing basket, because one day I will marry and move away and she isn't going to let me take hers. She bought me a blue wicker basket with a padded lid, satin lined on the inside and a tray with compartments. I will work on making a pincushion out of the left over Hello Kitty cloth if I finish the mending tonight. I might make a little sand bag as well.

Daddy, Shawn and Otis have made a lot of progress on the stable. It's all framed up and waiting to be inspected tomorrow. Shawn is working on a couple of last minute things, and will be in for dinner later.

I was grooming Nellie this afternoon and noticed she was skittish from the noise being made by the construction so I walked her to the south pasture and read "Tunnel in the Sky". It had a bitter sweet ending.

Some survival students were dropped on a planet for a survival test but the test administrators misplaced the planet they had been dropped on. The students realized they weren't going to be picked up because their transportation was super late so the students banded together and built lives for themselves. Anyway, I won't ruin it by telling the ending.

Other than the constant sounds of tools, it's been a peaceful day

Friday July 8th

Hello again. Since I've been writing my SMART Goals in here a suppose it would be a good place to keep my reviews in too.

Four weeks ago one of my goals was to improve my work ethic by being less lazy, so:

1.) Get a Job…Accomplished

2.) Washing…Been doing it. Mama has come to expect it so I doubt I will have any success getting out of it.

3.) Ironing…See #2

4.) Mending…it's work but it doesn't really seem like it. I've gotten to spend time with Mama and it got Mama teaching me to sew. As a mater of fact I've bought another pattern and intend to cut it out Monday. It is a button down shirt that I can make with long or short sleeves, and has three collar options.

My other goal was to be a better listener. I really wasn't sure how I would do with this one but I think I've done really well. I have learned a lot by waiting a few seconds after other people stop talking before I begin. I've had less misunderstandings with people. I also am able to communicate better by taking time think about what I'm going to say before I say it. Shawn noticed that I'm not rushing in to run my mouth so much. He thinks I matured while he was gone, and I have no intention of telling him it is the result of a very recent goal.

Well, I had better get to bed. There is a youth temple trip to Atlanta in the morning and I have to be up at 4 to do my chores and get ready to go. Jennie is going to pick me up at 6:45 so we can meet up for the carpool at 7am in the church parking lot.

Saturday July 9th

I had such a wonderful time. We stopped at Bo-Jangles for lunch on the way home. Sister Fansler brought cookies for every one. Big, soft, chewy, peanut butter cookies with peanuts in them. Jennie, Amy, Nicole, and I rode with Brother and Sister Tucker. Sister Tucker was wearing a lavender pillbox hat that had a curly lavender feather in it that bobbed up and down the entire car ride.

Brother Tucker told us stories about his time in the navy after WWII, he was old enough to join up the day before it all ended, so he did. He missed WWII but he did a lot of transport during Korea and Vietnam. He was in for 40 years and spent most of his time stationed in Okinawa. That is where he met Sister Tucker. They held hands almost the whole time. She calls him Koi, and he calls her Love, even though her name is Yukiko and his is Willy. When they talk to each other their sentences come out half English and half Japanese. They are so cute. I hope when I'm old my husband and I will be just as in love.

Brother Tucker likes to listen to Car Talk on the radio. There was a News of the Weird story on after Car Talk about a drunk homeless guy who was arrested for biting someone at a national park in Missouri. He had been living in a cave and may have been delirious after having survived being mauled by the bear who was in it. There was also a story about an artist who built a scale model of Paris out of bubble gum and uncooked spaghetti. She spent four years working on it and it is going to be on display at the Smithsonian next month. The final story was about a woman who had 96 cats and had taught them all how to go in the toilet and use the flush handle. If I had that many cats I wouldn't want to scoop that much poop. I hope it works for her. Maybe I can figure out how to teach Barney to do that since Daddy is having a bathroom put into the stable. Then I would be able to get rid of Barney's litter box.

Sunday July 10th

This mornings Sacrament meeting was different to say the least. Young Women's Camp was canceled. How could it be canceled? Jennie and I look forward to it every year. They also announced a series of special broadcasts at the stake center Saturday, One for Priesthood (Men over the age of 12), one for Relief Society (Ladies Auxiliary) and one for everyone. They also announced that next Sunday would be a Stake sacrament meeting.

A ward is a congregation, usually several congregations or wards will use a chapel. Each ward has a three hour time slot. The times rotate every January so eventually everyone has a turn going early in the morning and everyone gets a turn going in the evening. The ward you are in is determined by the geographic area you are in. Stakes are what we call several congregations. Stake meetings are crowded. The curtain that divides the chapel from the gym is opened up and folding chairs are set up close together and in narrow rows. The stage in the back of the gym (for skits and talent shows) is sometimes filled with folding chairs and used for seating if necessary. Once when I was little it was so packed that people were standing in the hallways and the speaker system in the classrooms were used. That was for President Hunter's funeral.

Bishop Jennette talked about everyone setting their affairs in order, keeping our gas tanks full and harvesting what we can now. I'm sure he was speaking figuratively bur he looked much different than his usual happy go lucky self. Brother Abrams talked about the Law of consecration. (Sharing what you have with people who need it). Sister Jones talked about visiting teaching. Usually the speakers all have the same topic. We had combined Sunday school, the youth and adults men and women all met together, and the topic was preparedness and self sufficiency. At the end of the meeting Bishop Jennette asked everyone to "Please make sure the people on your Visiting and Home Teaching routs know about the broadcasts and Stake meetings. Make it your priority. Know what their needs are, and extend them a ride if they need one. If you are unable to help them attend call your Priesthood Quorum Leader or Relief Society President so that we can arrange transportation. The broadcast will not be available online, so please make arrangements to attend. Sister McLean, Would you please offer our closing prayer?"

Daddy was in a meetings with the High Priests Quorum and Bishopric. He wouldn't talk about it much. This is so weird. Instead of making dinner Daddy announced that we are fasting instead. Something big is happening. I wish I knew what.

Monday July 11th

This morning was business as usual except that we fasted for breakfast, but Mama had tortilla soup on the crock pot with cornbread on the side when Daddy and I came home for lunch. I did the ironing and didn't scorch anything. Shawn intends to cut the east alfalfa field with Otis tomorrow morning. The stable passed its first inspection. Shawn spent the better part of the day putting on the sub layer of the roof and the sheathing on the exterior.

I cut out two blouses. They will be western style button down's. One is plaid in shades of blue and purple with thin silver threads. It will have short sleeves. The other is pale green with yellow and blue dots. That one is long sleeved. Mama said I did really well. Tomorrow I will do the button holes, set the sleeves and hem the bottoms.

Mama and Sister Bradley did their visiting teaching rout. Mama spent the morning baking peach cobblers to get their feet in the doors. Visiting Teaching is how the women in Relief Society fellowship each other. The ladies are assigned a partner to go visit three or four sisters with. Most all the ladies have assignments. Every month they visit their sisters and fellowship. They are also supposed to make sure the sisters they visit have everything they need. If they can't figure a way to help then they tell the Relief Society President, Sister Marshall, and she uses church resources to help. Home Teaching is about the same but the men do it. Daddy and Shawn left half an hour ago to visit the families on their rout.

Maggie is in charge of family home evening tonight. I wonder what she has planned. I'm making brownies for after. They will be done soon so I had better go back downstairs.

Tuesday July 12th

I wanted to drive to the drug store in Senoia to pick up feminine supplies after work and Daddy wouldn't hear of it. He insisted that he come with me before going home or that I drop him off at home and then take Maggie or Mama with me. Then he's all, "I don't know what you're being so secretive about, but, if you have to keep it a secret then you probably ought not be doing it." And I'm like "I need maxi pads!" and he's all, "No need to yell, Bethy, I understand you're a young lady. If it will make you feel better I'll stay in the car and read the Gazette."

Then I felt bad for yelling, and being disrespectful. It's just that Daddy is so old fashioned. I was born late in his life. He was fifty-two, and Mama was thirty, so I guess he was brought up in a different time. A time when young ladies did not go off on their own. Mama backs him up and is always saying, "Safety in Numbers". Daddy and Mama were the same with Maggie except that they let up on her when she turned six-teen, however, because of her getting into too much trouble I don't think they will ever leave me to my own devices. I know they do it because they care about me and worry about me but come on.

At least I can ride Idabel by my self, and here I am in the old tree house while she is munching the grass, occasionally flipping her tail at flies. It is so peaceful. I like it here because I can see most of the farm from up here, over towards Doss Acres Lake to the south east and Keg Creek towards the north. I can also hear the traffic on Reese road.

Daddy and Shawn built it a year or so after he and Mama got married. I keep a few blankets and a camp cot up here, along with a few snacks. It's a great place to be quiet and read. Shawn quit using it shortly after he started Middle school because it was "Immature." I don't think he even remembers that its here. It has withstood several hurricanes, a testament to Daddy's solid construction skills. I kind of doubt Daddy even remembers that its here. Here, is the thin line of trees that separates the south pasture from the south field. Right now the south field is planted in corn. This section of the tree line was abandoned to the kudzu years ago and I think it is also part of what keeps this little floating hideaway hidden. It has so completely overgrown the wooden slats nailed to the tree that an aluminum chain fire ladder is the only way up and down.

The sky is starting to turn pink. I should head back soon for dinner. If I'm late Mama will worry. I started writing this all mad at a Daddy and my goal is to think up three good things about people I am annoyed with. Writing about Daddy building the tree house and being frustrated made me realize that I shouldn't complain. I'm really blessed to have a father like Daddy is. A lot of people have awful parents. My grandpa Green was an awful man who treated my Daddy, my Uncles and my Grandma horribly. Daddy won't speak of him ever. Last summer I asked Uncle Linden about him and all he said was, "When the moonshine got a hold on him he, he was violent drunk. When he wasn't at the bottom of a bottle he was as mean as a rattlesnake. The past is best left there, so let it alone."

Wednesday July 13th

I finished my shirts today. They turned out really pretty. I'm making Mama and Maggie shirts with the pattern too. It's going to be a great surprise. I only had time to cut them out. Maggie's is a dark blue and grey plaid, and Mama's is red gingham.

YW meeting was interesting. We talked about emergency preparedness and 72 hour kits. Sister Compton came tonight to talk to us about camp sanitation, foraging food, water sources and purification, and how to avoid predators in while in the woods. It was very business as usual, since camp was canceled. I guess they didn't have anything else prepared and just went with that anyway.

Thursday July 14th

I realized that I only wrote down one goal and looking back I came to my list of qualities in a husband list so my next goal is to have more gratitude towards others…so:

Specific: I will remember to say please when making requests, thank you when appropriate, and to write one random thank you note for someone every day.

Measurable: Yes

Attainable: Yes

Relevant: Yes

Time bound: Yes one note per day over four weeks.

I wrote my first note to Mama after I finished sewing the last button on the shirt I made for her. I thanked her for teaching me to mend and sew. I left it on her pillow for her to find latter tonight. Also, made a pincushion and little sandbag out of the Hello Kitty scraps and it turned out soooo cute!

Daddy brought every ones 72 hour kit upstairs from the basement. He put them in the hall closet so we can get them quickly without cluttering up the hall. He wants every one to make sure there are three outfits in their pack, plus extra socks and underwear.

Friday July 15th

Jennie and Shawn picked out rings today. Her engagement ring has a polished round fire opal with three seed pearls on each side on a thin gold band. The wedding bands are simple plain gold bands. I thought they were old fashioned but I think the rings really suit them. Especially the fire opal, it flashes glints of orange and yellow kind of like Jennie's no nonsense fiery personality.

Today I wrote a thank you note for Maggie. She is always willing to give me good advice when I need it. I am almost done with her shirt, I hope to get the buttons and button holes done tonight so that she can wear it with her grey pencil skirt to the conferences tomorrow.

The radio had a report about how the authorities in Missouri are worried about how there may be a new party drug that is making people really sick and violent. There have been 5 people affected. Apparently they hurt a few people really bad. I'm glad I don't have to worry about Maggie doing drugs and taking something that would make her hurt anyone. I feel bad for them. They probably felt awful about what they did when the stuff wore off.

Somehow I feel like something big is going to happen. I'm really anxious. I was reading Psalms 31 this morning. It was about having faith in the midst of adversity and how God will always help us. Verse 24 has been running through my mind all day. _Be of good courage, and he shall strengthen your heart, all ye that hope in the Lord._

I think I'm going to go sit on the porch and work on Maggie's shirt while I enjoy the sun. Even with the window open its just too hot in here.

Saturday July 16th

Every one is being asked to go to Utah. Leave our houses, drop everything and go to Utah. There are dedicated places on each continent and ours is Utah. And avoid Missouri. Apparently people in Missouri were asked to go to Utah last Sunday.

Daddy was in meetings again with Bishop Jennette and with Stake and Area leaders. They are organizing things so that everything will go smoothly. They are also making sure that everyone has the means to get there and getting area assignments so that we will know where we will be settled at when we get there and what we will do when we arrive. Tomorrow we will find out what our stake and ward departure times and routs are, how much we can bring, and what to bring.

Jennie and Shawn have stepped up their wedding plans. Jennie already has appointments to see Bishop Jennette's Second Councilor, Brother Workman, and Brother Stark in the Stake presidency for a temple recommend. The wedding will be on Tuesday at the Atlanta Temple. The reception will be here on the farm that afternoon. It will be announced tomorrow during the stake meeting.

Mama needs me for something.

Sunday July 17th

We're not going to Utah. Daddy has been called to stay and help arrange caravans, supplies and contacts for other people going to Utah. Daddy is also going to be a councilor, teacher and Patriarch to everyone in the area of our stake. A Patriarch is someone who gives blessings and is a special representative of G-d.

Jennie and Shawn are not the only couple moving their wedding date up. 43 other couples will be going to get married over the course of the week. The Atlanta Temple is going to be open 24 hours a day until the end of next week. After that it will close except by appointment and be kept up by the Temple President. Everyone with a recommend is being encouraged to go before heading west.

After Shawn and Jennie are married, we will have a reception for them in the yard. I still get to make the cake and Gertie and I are going to go to the little boutique in Newnan across from the Win Dixie for our bride's maid's dresses. Jennie was planning to wear her mom's wedding dress so we will drop it off at the one hour cleaners before we start shopping. We are going to order her bouquet from Win Dixie; they actually make really pretty flower arrangements. Jennie and Shawn have no idea that Gertie and I are planning this for them.

I'm pretty sure Gertie thinks we are all crazy, but she is being a really good sport about everything. The conversation went mostly like this:

Me: Hi, Mrs. Palmer, is Gertie there?

Mrs. Palmer: Wait just a sec Shugga.

Gertie: Hey Bethy, what's up?

Me: Shawn and Jennie have finally set a date!

Gertie: Well, it's her news; shouldn't she get to tell it?

Me: No, and I'll tell you why. It's gonna be Tuesday so we got to put it together fast. She isn't expecting anything but going to the Atlanta Temple for her vows or whatever they do.

Gertie: What do you mean, "or whatever they do." You mean you don't know?!

Me: Of course I don't. I've never been to do endowments and what not. Just baptisms. I figure I'll find out when I need to.

Gertie: But why are they…Oh my Gosh! She's not pregnant is she?!

Me: Of course not. If she was, they wouldn't be able to go into the Temple. You have to be chaste to go in.

Gertie: Well, then, why Tuesday. Is someone dying?

Me: No… (Here I paused. Gertie has always been intrigued by our religion but sometimes thinks Jennie and I are … different … in a good way)

Gertie: Come on, Spill. If she ain't pregnant and no one is dying why the urgency?

Me: Well, the Prophet and his councilors have said it is time for all of the members of our church to gather together in Utah.

Gertie: (silence)

Me: Gertie? Are you still there?

Gertie: Yes, I'm still here.

Me: So will you help me surprise her with a real wedding?

Gertie: Back up. Are you telling me that my two best friends on the planet are going to Utah? Is this for ever or just a visit because I don't think Jennie would upset her applecart for a visit and if ya'll are leaving for ever then I'm going too!

Me: I'm not going. Daddy has been asked to stay behind and keep an eye on the chapels and keep records. Jennie and Shawn haven't decided whether to go to Utah with her family or stay with ours, but, for either option they need to get married. She can't stay with us, and he can't travel with them, if they don't,

Gertie: Ok, I'm in.

Shawn just got back and it seems hard that he will probably be going with Jennie's family to Utah. They haven't decided what to do for sure, but they better think fast. The first groups are leaving on Wednesday. If they drive in shifts they can be there Saturday. Groups leaving Thursday Friday and Saturday will bring tents to camp in on Sunday. Any group scheduled to leave on a day that will end up camping over Sunday will take a Boy Scout trailer. Every ward has one or two, depending on the size of their Pack.

I think I hear Daddy pulling up in the drive.

Monday July 18th

We (Gertie and I) got every thing taken care of. We let Mama and Sister Short (who says I should call her Megan since we are going to be related soon) in on what we are up to and they are going to get some food cooked and call Shawn and Jennie's other friends, relatives in the area and members of our ward to come. Sister Short even gave us money for the dry cleaners, flowers, and decorations. We will set everything up in the yard as soon as they leave in the morning.

I had never seen Sister Short's dress before but it's gorgeous. It is very antebellum with its full sweeping skirt, square collar, and long sleeves. It is entirely overlaid with re-embroidered lace and embellished with seed pearl and crystal beading. The veil is of matching lace and beadwork set on a crystal and bead tiara. I swear the box it was all in must have weighed twenty pounds. The petticoats and crinoline are huge. Inow know why Jennie's mom gave us so much money. The dry cleanerswanted $145.00 to clean it and they said it would take three hours not one because it is so big.

Gertie and I found the perfect dresses and they match. We also got one for her sister Beatrice and one for Maggie, but we are not going to tell Beatrice about it until she gets here tomorrow because she couldn't keep a secret if her life depended on it. They are a shiny gold color underneath with sheer layers of orange, yellow, and red. They are tea length with asymmetrical hems, v necklines, cap sleeves and fitted bodices that flair into the skirts.

The bouquet will be of circus roses. Those are the yellow ones with the red tips. They happened to have them in stock. It will also have yellow and orange spider mums, and carnations and ivy. We also ordered matching corsages for the mothers for the bride and groom. We also picked out button hole corsages for Shawn, Daddy, Brother Short, Jennie's three brothers and Shawn's best friend Jonas Jones the 4th. No one actually calls him that. He is called Brownie. I don't know why he is called that but I have been told he will commit murder on anyone who reveals how he got that nickname.

We were able to get paper plates, plastic wear, napkins, paper table cloths, battery operated strung paper lanterns with LED's and paper center pieces in yellow and orange. Gertie is going to make a balloon arch with fishing string and yellow and orange balloons. She says it will take about an hour.

The cake layers are cooling now on my dresser and desk. They smell so good and are making me hungry because I have to keep smelling them. Mama helped me air out the downstairs so that Shawn wouldn't come in and smell them. They are lemon which is Shawn's favorite. Usually he could sniff out a cake from a mile away, but he is still downstairs with Daddy so we must have done a good job of removing the evidence. I'm going to put orange marmalade between the layers and I picked up crystal clear orange flavoring to put in the butter cream frosting. I will put a thin sealing coat of the frosting on the cake layers in an hour or so.

I'm so glad I took the Wilton classes last summer. I'm going to pull out all the stops. I brought home a dozen of the roses and a dozen and a half of the spider mums for the cake because they are all edible. I dipped the flowers in a really light sugar syrup and when it was almost dry I sprinkled sugar on them so now they sparkle. I painted the rose leaves with white chocolate and let them cool, peeled the leaves off and painted them again with milk chocolate and then did it again with dark chocolate. I don't have a topper so I'm using the flowers and chocolate leaves to spill off the top and cascade off the tiers.

Well, they seem cool enough to frost so more later.

Tuesday July 19th

Well, everything went off without a hitch. Jennie was super surprised when her mother presented her with her clean and pressed wedding gown. She had been up most the night re-hemming it so that Jennie wouldn't trip over it.

As soon as Mama, Daddy and Shawn left I brought the thinly sealed cakes down to the kitchen to and began to put them together. Three 24" layers with marmalade between them, then three 12" layers likewise, and lastly, three 6" layers. It took me five tries to get the frosting to go on to the bottom tier smooth and seamlessly because it was just so big. The flowers turned out beautifully, shiny and sparkly, the chocolate leaves were not perfect but they didn't look bad either.

While I was decorating the cakes Gertie and Maggie were setting up the tables and putting up decorations. The balloon arch was so elegant. It was made with two T-ball stands that she borrowed from Sam and Lila. She unscrewed the handles off of her Mom's broom and mop and then she stuck them in the T-ball stands. She used them as improvised pillar frames and somehow wrapped the balloons around them. For the arch on top she used fishing line to hold them together. She, Sam and Lila strung lights on the trees behind the tables and hung the Chinese lanterns from the branches.

Maggie was nice enough to go to Win Dixie and pick up the flowers. They turned out just like the pictures in the idea book except that they were in the colors that Gertie and I asked for.

Mama had prepared crock pots to cook most of the food last night. She had borrowed a couple from Sister Short and one from Gertie's mom, plus her three for a total of six. She had chicken wings, cocktail sausages in peach preserves, pulled pork barbecue, blond chili, and little potatoes with pearl onions and brussels sprouts in butter sauce, and steamed shrimp. All I had to do was take the crock liner bags out of the fridge and put them in the pots. Mama had already written me a schedule for when to turn everything on, whether they should be on high or low, and when to change the temperatures on everything.

After Maggie and Gertie finished the decorating and I finished the cake, we put together a couple of veggie trays with dip and trays with cold cuts and crackers. Then Gertie and I drug Shawn's speakers and sound system outside. We put together a play list and decided it was finished.

About 30 minutes before any one arrived we quickly got dressed and did each others hair. We finished right as Gertie's family pulled up in their green Astro mini van, followed closely by Jennie's sister Beatrice and her boyfriend Scot. Maggie quickly pulled her aside and got her into her dress. Mrs. Palmer helped me carry out the cake and set it up on the clear plastic tiers. Gertie started the music, and soon more people started to arrive. Everyone in our Young Women's group and their families. A lot of the ladies brought side dishes, deserts and pitchers of Kool-aid and punch.

As soon as the Short's and our cars were spotted everyone gathered by the drive way. Jennie was so surprised she started to cry. When we gave her the bouquet and passed out the corsages and button hole flowers for the wedding party she cried because they were so lovely. When she saw the decorations she cried because everything was so beautiful. When she saw the cake she cried because it must have taken forever to do so perfectly. When Gertie played "Keeper of the Stars" for the opening dance she cried because she hadn't told us what their song was. (Mama found out on the ride home and had texted it to me.) When we made sure there were three father daughter dances so all of her sisters would have a chance to dance with their dad she cried because we were so thoughtful. When Shawn's best friend Brownie Jones gave a speech that offered marriage advice that included being sure to remember that "Yes Darling" was the most important phrase he would ever learn, she laughed so hard she cried. When we told her in unison to "Remember Dr. Laura's advice about the sandwich!" she blushed so hard we thought she was going to cry but she didn't. When Maggie caught the bouquet she didn't cry either. Gertie and I forgot about the rice so we quickly grabbed a bag of birdseed out of the shed and passed it around for the kids to throw at them on their way to Shawn's car. It was covered in toilet paper and had soda cans tied to the bumper with "Just Married" written on the back windshield in shaving cream. I think Shawn almost cried to see his car so disrespected.

Everyone was really nice and helped with the cleanup before leaving. The Relief Society Sisters washed the dishes and made sure everyone got their pans and stuff back before leaving. Gertie and I made sure most of the left over cake was cut up and sent with the families that came. Daddy and Brother Short directed all the guys in taking down the decorations but left the lanterns up at Mama's request. Gertie's family was the last to leave because it took about five minutes to talk her Mom and Dad into letting her stay the night. She fell asleep about ten minutes ago. I guess she got bored watching me write all this down. I can hardly wait to go to Newnan tomorrow to get the pictures developed. Its not every day that one of your best friends or your brother gets married and both happened today so of course I need to write it all down. One day I will be old and decrepit and forgetful and need this to remind me.

Oh my gosh it will be midnight in 3 minutes.

Wednesday July 20th

Well its back to the business at hand, almost. Shawn and Jennie are at a hotel in Newnan and won't be home 'til later tonight. Shawn and Jennie are not going to Utah so Sister Short, Mama Maggie, Beatrice and I spent the morning cleaning their house and moving their stuff into it. There are three bedrooms in it. Jennie's bedroom furniture was moved into on of the small bedrooms and Shawn's bedroom furniture was moved into the other. Jennie's family is leaving tomorrow and wont be able to take all of their furniture with them so Brother and Sister Short are giving them their bedroom furniture, their kitchen table and the benches that go with it.

Maggie is going to go with me to Newnan to get the pictures developed so the Short's can have copies to take with them. We are going to go straight to their house after we get them. We are going to help them get things ready so they can leave tomorrow.

Dr. Pierce seemed to be real annoyed with Daddy because he hasn't been to the clinic since Friday. I heard him talking to Daddy in the study this morning. He thinks Daddy is being foolish to take time off to help people pack and get ready to leave "…on the foolish whim of a senile old man, and rushing you son into a marriage with a girl who is too young to know better if he hasn't got her knocked up is just silly. " Daddy didn't loose his cool though. He just replied that Dr. Pierce had no stake in the clinic and if he wanted to quit he could, so, Dr. Pierce said Daddy could "…consider this my two weeks notice then!" He also said a bunch of other stuff I'm not going to repeat here.

I need to hurry and bring in the laundry before Maggie decides its time to go.

Thursday July 21st

Jennie's family left at 6am with the 37 other families in our ward. She cried as they pulled out of the church parking lot but Shawn was good and hugged her. It was so sweet to watch. I never noticed that he could be so sensitive before.

I really don't know why I'm writing all this. Sister Fansler is on her way to Utah and I don't think she is coming back just to give me cookies. I miss her already, even throwing chalk. I will miss seeing everyone in Sunday meetings and Wednesday Young Women's activities. Thank goodness there is Face book.

They are going to drive in caravan in 4 hour shifts with 30 minute breaks in between so people can get out and stretch and use the bathroom. Everyone promised to call Daddy daily to check in daily. Another ward left at noon, and one left at 6pm. Tomorrow three more wards will leave. On Saturday three more will go. Sunday will be a stake sacrament meeting for those who remain. Monday the area presidency will give Daddy the keys to all the stake center and meeting houses before the last two wards leave. Every family that hasn't left with a caravan by then will get a phone call and directions to the farm and gather into stragglers' groups consisting of three to four families at a time.

Friday July 22nd

Daddy has been at the stake center all day. The 6 o'clock groups arrived at four so that everyone could be put on a roster, cars checked and any minor repairs done, and trailer loads inspected and tied down securely. The bishop made sure every car had first aid kits, fire extinguishers, coolers of sandwich fixings, bread and bottled water. Mama, Maggie, Jennie, Gertie and I packed bagged breakfasts of orange or apple juice boxes, a package of pop-tarts, and breakfast burritos wrapped in aluminum foil. The noon departure group arrived at 10am and it was the same except that Mama, Maggie, Jennie, and Gertie packed bagged lunches with a can of soda, a bag of chips and a turkey or ham sandwich in a zip bag. The 6pm departure group arrived at 4 pm and they packed the dinners based on the meal plan for lunch.

I didn't help in the kitchen with lunch and dinner because somehow I ended up getting drafted with some of the other young women to entertain the kids. They sang the Primary songs I played for them on the piano. Mostly the ones about the pioneers, including "The Oxcart". I think they just like making their voices really low as they sing "It's pulled by an ox of course you know" squeaking at the "creeek, creeek, creeek, creeek," part and dragging the creeks out as long as they could. After the noon group I decided to only play that one three times because more than that just might make my ears bleed.

While I was doing music for the kids the other young women also organized and refereed several games of tag, a dizzy contest that won't happen again because three of the kids threw up from spinning in circles too long for their tummies to handle, hopping on one foot contests and other challenges of balance, playing kick ball in the gym and a story time. The kids were in four groups to make them easier to handle and were rotated the activities.

Gertie has been quiet about the whole thing really. She wants to help out and has been a great blessing to have around. She seems fascinated by how quickly everything has been organized and how everyone has been working together. She told me that if her pastor told everyone they needed to move cross country in a week or less he would be laughed out of the church. She seemed surprised when I told her that about half of the people in the wards were staying because they think it is silly or had no desire to go for any reason.

Daddy told me the other night that many people had requested that their names be taken off of the rolls since Saturday. And that more would probably follow suite in the coming weeks.

That's all for now.

Saturday July 23rd

Today I did the some thing I did yesterday except at 4:30 a couple of people who had decided not to go came and tried to talk the people going into staying. No one changed their minds. Everyone seemed excited and happy to go. After about 5:15 someone started yelling awful rude things so I took the kids inside to play in the gym instead of in the sunshine. At least there were no violent mobs like in the 1840's.

Jennie's family got to Utah with no problems. Everyone from our ward made it just fine. The are being redirected to Lebanon Colorado. They will stay in Westwater Utah until Monday.

Sunday July 24th

The Sunday service was somewhat unpleasant.

It started in the normal way, people from the Grantville Ward mostly but enough people from other wards that for whatever reason hadn't left yet began to come into the chapel and take a seat as the Sister Gleason the organist played the prelude music. The Stake Presidency filed in with the bishopric of the ward and took their seats on the stand. The Stake President, President Smyth announced the beginning of the meeting, the opening hymn "Come, Come Ye Saints", and invited Sister Fry to offer the opening prayer. President Smyth went through the announcements, including the final departures tomorrow, who to contact if you need assistance, and new callings to be set apart. Shawn was to be called to be Daddy's Second Councilor, Uncle Otis would be his first Councilor, Mama was to be the area representative of the Relief Society with Aunt Patricia as her First Councilor, and Sister Bell will be her Second Councilor. This was followed by singing "There is a Green Hill Far Away" and the blessing and passing of the sacrament.

Almost as soon as the deacons were instructed to rejoin their families several people entered the chapel and began to cause a ruckus about going to Utah. I really don't understand why people get so upset about things that don't effect them. How is one person, or even a hundred people moving out of a county going to effect the people who stay? They might miss someone who moves away but isn't that why there is Facebook?

Needless to say, the people who wanted to go still intend to go, and those didn't won't, but those are personal decisions that no one can make for anybody else. That is what self determination and free agency are all about. The gift to make our own decisions and take responsibility for our actions. They were asked to quietly sit down and were invited to speak with the Stake Presidency after the meeting so that their concerns could be addressed.

Daddy was in meetings most of the afternoon as was Shawn. Jennie came home with us for the afternoon and for dinner. She and Shawn went to their home soon after he and Daddy were done with their meetings. Tomorrow will be much like yesterday I suppose, and then Daddy and I will go back to work at the clinic, Maggie will continue her distance classes, Shawn and Daddy will finish building the new stable.

I better get to bed, tomorrow I will be entertaining the kids again.

Monday July 25th

I do believe everyone who was going to go has gone. The only difference today was the reporters. Legally they had to stay off of church property. President made a brief statement that they were indeed going to Utah. After about 3 minutes he directed them to go to the church's official website.

Because of the reporters calling out questions to the kids, I took them inside to play. They had fun and I let them each pick a toy from the nursery to take with them since there won't be any kids to play with them once this group is gone.

I really enjoyed taking care of them. One day I hope I have a ton of kids, 7 or 8 would be good. That last group had 97 kids between 18 months and 11 years old divided into 5 groups by age. Some of the kids were worried leaving their friends behind but were excited about going on an adventure as well.

Those kids really tuckered me out.


	3. Chapter 3

For the disclaimer, please see the Authors Note at the beginning of Chapter 1

The Journals Of Elizabeth Anne Green

Chapter 3

Tuesday July 26th

With all the hubbub Mama, Maggie and I kind of let the house go a bit so when Daddy and I got home from the clinic Maggie and Mama had the cleaning in full swing. Shawn was putting the siding on the stable with Uncle Otis and Newnan Mechanical had just left. They had the pipes and installed everything.

Barney was sitting on the porch twitching his tail agitatedly and pacing back and forth on the railing watching the work going on. He was not happy about the assault on his home. Barney is a barn cat. He is fiercely protective of this territory. We haven't seen a rat or mouse in the barn since he moved in, except dead, placed on the bottom step of the porch.

The woman who gave him to us had taken him to Daddy's clinic. She couldn't figure out what was wrong with him. She had bought him from a pet store in Atlanta as a kitten six months before. He was aggressively playful and at first her daughter loved him. Over the weeks and months that followed he began attacking them viciously and constantly and she wanted to know if having him fixed or de-clawed would help. He is a pure breed Birman and he had won a competition a month before so she really wanted to be able to breed him with the female she had at home. In the end she opted to have him de-clawed. Loosing his claws did not make him defenseless or more gentle. In fact, it made him even meaner. So mean that he had started biting people and other pets in the house. Now, Daddy had guaranteed that if he didn't calm down in a week or so, that she could bring him back and Daddy would give her back her money from having him de-clawed back and that Daddy would find him a new home. Barneys reputation was already well known and no one wanted the spitting, hissing demon. I was six when Daddy brought him home. I had been down because one of the kids at school had been mean to me. Daddy saw me and patted the chair on the porch next to his and began to ask me how my day was, when this massive fluff ball hopped onto my lap and started licking my chin and purring. Daddy, thinking it was safe, reached out a hand to pet him and got bit up pretty bad.

Since then I've been the only person he really tolerates. He was not tolerating the people in his barn well at all so I tried to soothe him with some catnip. Catnip makes most cats hyper, however it will knock Barney completely out. It worked for an hour or so.

When I walked inside there was bread rising on the counter and more was in the oven. Mama said when it comes out I can take a few loaves over to Shawn and Jennie. Jennie is at work at the Little Sue and won't be home until 8pm so I don't need to rush over there or nothing.

Gertie got a job as a cashier at the Food Lion. She starts Monday.

Wednesday July 27th

I was listening to the radio this morning while hanging the laundry and heard about a state of emergency in Missouri. Homeland Security thought there has been a terrorist attack on St. Louis using a modified version of rabies. What ever it is has been making people get a fever and become violent. A lot of people were leaving St. Louis in a panic and that there were traffic jams and that the National Guard had been called in. At the clinic I had the radio on and Rock'n'Randy kept interrupting the music for updates on the Missouri situation except it isn't a Missouri problem. By lunch time there were reports of human rabies in Indianapolis and Chicago Illinois, Kansas City Missouri, Louisville Kentucky, Nashville and Memphis Tennessee, and a few towns in Arkansas.

A lot of people called the clinic to ask about rabies vaccinations for themselves or their kids. While Daddy didn't discount the notion entirely, He told me he can get in a lot of trouble if he practices veterinary medicine on people. Something about scope of practice laws. He told me to refer them to their doctors or the hospital. Several people walked in asking for rabies shots and were kind of irritated that Daddy and Dr Pierce wouldn't do it. Finally, I made a sign and put it on the door.

Mama and Maggie had picked a bunch of tomatoes from the garden. She says canning season is upon us. There are wax beans and green beans and squash cucumbers that will be ready in the coming days too. The berry bushes are ready too, and she sent Maggie and I out to pick raspberries. We picked three bushels between the two of us. Tomorrow Aunt Patricia is going to come over to help Mama, Maggie and I can berries, squash and peaches. Shawn carried all the jars up from the root cellar then went back to the stable to finish working on the interior. When Daddy and I got home, Mama and Maggie had already canned 10 gallons of tomato sauce, 10 gallons of stewed tomatoes, and 7 Gallons of salsa. In all we canned over 7 gallons of raspberry jelly, 5 gallons of raspberry preserves and 5 gallons of raspberry spread. Tomorrow we start peaches. We will probably do peaches daily for the next couple of weeks.

Daddy thinks the stable will be ready for the final inspection Friday. Several people have already booked boarding for their horses and Shawn is very excited about the prospect.

Thursday July 28th

St. Lewis has been entirely over run with people who have the rabies. The army is being called in to control the whole state of Missouri. There have been a few outbreaks in the neighboring states but the CDC says that they are being contained. Daddy doesn't think it is as serious as the news portrays because they often exaggerate and inflate stories for ratings, but I'm kind of thinking that it's awful to inflate a story like this. It's scaring folk.

Aunt Patricia, Uncle Otis and Jimmy came over today to help on the farm. Uncle Otis and jimmy are helping Shawn finish the stable and Aunt Patricia is going to help with the canning. They brought 10 bushels of zucchini and seven bushels of rhubarb. They are going to stay over tonight, tomorrow night, Saturday night, observe the Sabbath and drive back home Monday morning.

Shawn and Daddy brought the portable gas burners out of the shed so Mama could do the water bath outside in the shade of the trees. Mama and Patricia washed the produce out side too, so they could get out of the heat.

Mama sent Jennie, Maggie and I berry picking again, while she and Aunt Patricia canned in the kitchen. I'm happy to be outside, with all the canning going on. Every window and door has been propped open and there are box fans in all the windows, but all the canning is still making the house feel like the inside of a volcano. We are almost positive there are no more berries to pick now. We washed them, sorted them, mashed them, simmered them, strained them, packed them into jars and water bathed them. We also picked peaches, scalded the skins off of the peaches, mashed them, sliced them and processed them into plain canned slices, preserves, pie filling, jelly and nectar.

The whole house smells like peaches and berries. I love canning season.

Friday July 29th

Today I managed to get away from all the caning because I was at the clinic, but I think it would have been better if I had stayed home. People are really getting upset. Dr. Pierce set up the answering machine to direct people who wanted to know about rabies to press one. When they do, it sends them to a recording that tells them how rabies is spread, the symptoms and instructs them to call the hospital or their primary care physician. If they press two it directs them to a recording about our hours and location. If they press three it rings the desk phone and I take the call. I was still yelled at for being heartless a few times but not as constantly as before he changed the phone system.

We still had several people show up wanting vaccinations. Jedediah Jenkins threatened to shoot Dr. Pierce if he didn't vaccinate him and his kids. I was in the bathroom when that happened, and when I heard that I called the Sheriffs office and they sent three cars. When Jed saw the police he stopped threatening. Daddy talked to the police and also talked Dr. Pierce out of pressing charges.

Part of the reason people are scared is that there are huge outbreaks in a bunch of other states now. The national guard has been called up in other states and the military is on alert. The reservists have been called up, and on the news they were saying that retirees under the age of 55 are on standby and need to contact the military instillation closest to them because they may be called back into service.

Some of the news shows are saying that Missouri may have to be evacuated, and that the military is trying to contain the entire state. Refugee Centers have been set up in Tennessee, Illinois, Iowa, Arkansas, Okalahoma, and Kentucky to handle the numbers of people who are sick. Hospitals in a lot of the cities have been over run, and there have been riots and looting by people.

When I got home I watched the news with on TV with everyone. We don't watch TV much, so, when I got home and the TV was on in the middle of the day I was a bit surprised. On the news while the reporter was talking we were watching what was going on behind him. A woman ran past him screaming "RUN" as she went. Within moments more people could be seen running in panic. The news guy just stood there ignoring everything as he read the press release about how the National Guard in co-operation with local police and the Army had everything under control, and that Memphis, while under a state of emergency, was completely fine and that the outbreak was contained. Suddenly he was grabbed by a man running past who bit him. Then some more people grabbed him and started ripping him apart and it seemed like they were eating him. When it was clear what was happening the news channel cut to the news room but you could tell that Bryon and Cindy were in shock, and Bryon announced that they were having technical difficulties and that they were going to a commercial break.

I was horrified. I don't watch scary stuff usually, it just isn't my thing. I prefer romance or comedy, That's why I made Jennie and Gertie take "Dawn of the Dead" out of the VCR after 20 minutes. Mama and Patricia looked ill. Daddy looked worried. Otis looked sick, Shawn ran to the porch and did get sick and Jimmy looked disturbed.

Mama's timer went off then and Mama used it as an excuse to leave the room followed by Patricia, Jennie and I. We went to the kitchen and got busy with canning. About an hour later Maggie joined us and told us about what was going on. The riots that had been reported weren't riots at all in the normal sense. The government, in efforts to reduce panic hadn't wanted people to see what was really happening. Apparently, people infected with the virus go so crazy and violent that they will bite and scratch anyone, don't seem to respond to pain or recognize anything or anyone around them. Anyone they bite will get it also. Within between 30 minutes and 16 hours a person who is bit will begin to run a fever. The fever may last a few hours or a few days The CDC thinks that only one person in a thousand has any immunity.

Gertie came over to spend the night, and so did Jennie. They are going to help make pickles tomorrow. Gertie's mom sent almost a bushel of cucumbers out of her garden along with a bunch of beets, carrots and onions.

Tomorrow is going to be busy.

Saturday July 30th

There was an earthquake in California this morning. Fortunately only a few buildings were damaged. Supposedly it was a strong one. Seven point something, but, the news lady said building codes in California require buildings to be able to withstand that kind of thing. They are not sure how many people were hurt, so far they think about 150 or so.

The rabies is spreading everywhere. It's spread as far as the Great Lakes to the north and the northern parts of Alabama and Louisiana. There have been a few cases here in Georgia too. Gainesville had the first case late last night and this morning there were some cases in Rome and Atlanta. Everyone is starting to get worried.

We have been pickling all morning. We have pickled cucumbers, carrots, bean salad, beets, and garden mix with beets, carrots, onions, squash and cucumbers in it. When everyone else is done with lunch we are going to can green beans and peas. We made sweet, dill, and bread and butter flavors.

Jennie, Gertie and I are having our first sleepover since Jennie and Shawn got married. It will be so fun. We are going to have ice cream and watch a movie and make popcorn, and do mani-pedi's. Sleepin' in cause there's no cannin' tomorrow. Tomorrow is going to be a blessed day of rest. I'd do a happy dance but I'm saving my energy for pampering and having fun.

Sunday July 31st

I think that with no ward to attend Sundays are going to be different than before. Daddy announced that we were going to have Sacrament Meeting in the parlor at ten in the morning from now on. Shawn stayed in the guest room last night, and Jennie joined him after Gertie and I went to sleep. After breakfast they went home to change. I'm used to listening to Mama play the hymns in the parlor, but, It was odd to see Daddy and Uncle Otis setting the sacrament up and blessing it on the coffee table. It was odd to see Jimmie passing it around the room. It was odd listening to Aunt Patricia give a lesson on honesty out of the Gospel Principles book. It was odd listening to Shawn teach out of the Teachings of Joseph Smith about when he was in Liberty Jail and what he taught about the trials and tribulations of life and enduring them with joy and grace. It was odd to see Jennie bare her testimony in our parlor, although she would have during family home evening eventually. If everything was normal. It was odd to see Gertie bare her testimony in our parlor. I didn't know she had read the Book of Mormon. It was odd to see her be baptized in the creek thirty minutes later. It was odd because usually her mother and father would have had to give their consent. It was odd because Daddy did it anyway.

If everything were normal we would not have turned on the TV on a Sunday glued to the screen watching the news. If everything were normal there would be no one panicking or any evacuations from Atlanta and the surrounding areas. If everything were normal there would be no announcements telling people to go to their designated refugee center. If everything was normal Mrs. Palmer would not have asked us to bring Gertie home early. If things were like normal I wouldn't know that Gertie ran out of her house screaming in terror chased by a bunch of people who ripped her in pieces as Shawn and Jennie tried to help her get back in the car. If things were normal Jennie wouldn't have a huge bite in her arm. If things were normal the hospital would not be diverting people back to their homes. If things were normal Daddy would not have given her thirty-seven stitches in her arm.

Before Gertie left with Jennie and Shawn I hugged her and told her I loved her. If things were normal I would have done that anyway. Mama held me when I cried. She would have done that anyway. Shawn and Daddy gave Jennie a blessing. They would have done that anyway.

Monday August 1st

Jennie began to run a fever at about three this morning. By seven it was 105 degrees and Shawn brought her to the house to see if Mama knew what to do. While Mama was helping Shawn with Jennie, Maggie and I started making the weekly bread.

While Daddy, Uncle Otis and Jimmie were washing up for lunch an Army jeep pulled up to the house. Daddy went out to meet them and a man got out and said that the were here to take us to the refugee center. Daddy told them that we were staying put. That we had been on this farm for five generations and had always managed to weather any situation that came up. The soldier let Daddy know that it was our own risk and that the US government would not be responsible for whatever happened to us but that our safety was guaranteed at the refugee center. Minutes later they left and we had BLT's made from tomatoes and lettuce from the garden, bacon Daddy and Uncle Otis had smoked last fall, and some of the bread Maggie and I had made.

As soon as Mama finished eating she put a tray together for Shawn and Jenny and took it upstairs. Mama came down again with tears in her eyes. She thought Jennie had passed away and wanted Daddy to check on her. Mama went back upstairs to be with Shawn while Daddy went out to the truck to get his kit. Before he came back inside there was a commotion coming from the guest room.

Jennie had woken up but she just wasn't herself. She managed to bite both Shawn and Mama before they could hold her down. She is so confused and doesn't recognize anyone. Also the bite on her arm looks really bad. Daddy and Uncle Otis tied her to the bed so she can't hurt anyone. Shawn is devastated. We all are I think. I don't know what to think. I'm worried for Mama and Shawn though. Mama is running a fever and doing poorly so I need to check on her.

Tuesday August 2nd

Mama is in the guest room with Jennie. At first Daddy and Shawn were worried that they might try to hurt each other, but they don't seem to notice each other at all. They just stare, and wander back and forth. Any time they see anybody else they lunge at them snapping their teeth and making gurgling sounds.

We were up late last night watching the news in the hope that a cure has been discovered. For days we have only had 6 or 7 TV channels. Yesterday we had FOX News and Bloomberg News. At lunchtime we had FOX News. At 3 this afternoon we had no TV channels but could pick up PBS radio. During dinner we lost the electricity.

To keep busy Patti, Maggie and I picked and canned green beans and wax beans. We actually managed to can about 15 gallons of green beans and 8 gallons of wax beans. We tried to distract ourselves so hard, but it is so hard to really think about anything else. It feels like the whole world is falling apart. I'm scared. I'm so scared, and although every one else is trying real hard to hide it, I know they're all scared too. Everyone is throwing themselves into work but its not enthusiastic, its more like plodding along at break neck speed so that they don't have time to notice or talk and only have the energy needed to eat, shower and stumble exhausted to bed.

Wednesday August 3rd

When Maggie and I woke up it was early. There were some unusual shuffling sounds coming from Shawn's old room. He must have gotten the fever during the night. Maggie opened his door and slammed it shut as soon as he started to lunge at her. Daddy has been checking on them throughout the day. He is worried that they aren't eating or drinking anything. Daddy is also worried that something else is wrong. He says they aren't making waste.

Maggie, Patricia and I picked up the usual routines around the house, and everything was spiffy in about an hour and a half. I'm glad our stove is an old fashioned propane stove. With the power out we had to go out and use the old hand pump. Daddy and Otis had already primed it when they watered the animals but they made sure Maggie and I knew how to do it just in case they weren't around and we needed to use it. House work takes longer when you have to lug the water inside.

Daddy found some old wash boards and a free standing crank wringer in the shed along with four galvanized washtubs. Maggie and Patricia helped me heat and lug water to the tubs. Patti had helped her mother wash by hand when she was a child and gave us the basic instructions. Fill one tub with hot soapy water. Fill two with clear water. Add starch to the last one. Wash the whites first. If you have something that is white that needs to soak put it in soapy one first at one end and leave it there. After you wash something put it through the wringer, then rinse it in the first rinse tub and then the second. If you intend to iron dip it in the starch tub. If there is a lot of laundry you may have to change the water but we didn't have to. It took the three of us all morning to do it. We have decided that until the power is back on, everyone needs to wear their clothes two days in a row unless something gets on them.

Every hour or so Jimmie or Otis come in and fiddle with the radio to see if they can pick up anything. We only have a couple of batteries for it so they haven't spent a whole lot of time on it though. When Daddy tried the phone there was no dial tone. Maggie's cell phone is getting no signal. Neither is anyone else's. Daddy and Otis intend to check on the neighbors tomorrow if we can't contact people by other means before sundown today. Daddy is running the generator to power the fridge but he doesn't want us to use the lights too much.

Patti was making biscuits and Maggie was working on frying a chicken when I came up here. I told them that I would get the salad greens and make my special raspberry mint herbal iced tea to go with dinner. I can smell it now so I had best get a move on.

Thursday August 4th

Mama and Jennie smell bad, like rotting meat. Maggie and Patti were going to help Daddy give them bathes today but they didn't get very far. Daddy had them both put on their thickest coats to protect them from bites and collared Mama with the catch pole. They were doing ok until Maggie started to wash Mamas hair and part of Mama's scalp came off and an overpowering stench filled the bathroom. Maggie went into hysterics and neither Daddy nor Patti did much better.

They aren't much interested in food. They shuffle around their rooms constantly and don't seem to have stopped to sleep at all. None of the tranquilizers Daddy has given them has had any effect on them. All they do is try to bite us. They are super strong. Maggie doesn't think Mama felt anything when her scalp was injured. They stink. They could make us sick too.

Daddy and Otis are going to move them into the old tobacco barn. Daddy, Otis and Jimmy are moving the equipment that was being stored in it to the main barn by the house. To make room in the barn the horses are being moved into the stable. They also have to fix all the loose and broken boards in the tobacco barn. Even with Maggie helping them it will probably take until sundown, so I doubt that we will move them out until tomorrow.

There is still canning to do. Maggie, Patti and I went and picked goose berries and black berries. We picked about five buckets full this morning, and there were still a bunch that weren't ready yet. We will probably get those next week. Patti and I canned most of them, and froze the rest.

Friday August 5th

Daddy and Otis moved Mama, Shawn and Jennie to the tobacco barn this morning. Patti, Jimmy, Maggie and I went along as well. They didn't seem to notice the change of scenery at all.

Daddy, Otis and Jimmy started to cut the south and east fields of alfalfa this morning, and will leave it to dry until Monday. They will mow the Coopers Road field and the field with the pond this afternoon. They will do the other 3 hay fields tomorrow. Monday and Tuesday Jimmy will run the bailer through while Daddy and Otis mow Otis' fields. It will probably take until Thursday to mow because Otis has more acres in hay than we do. Jimmy will be running the baler through next Wednesday probably.

Daddy went to town with Otis today to see if they could find out any news. When they came back they were horrified by what they had seen. The military seems to be in charge and while Daddy and Otis weren't forced to stay, they were strongly encouraged to. They strip searched Daddy and Otis to see if they had been bitten. Anyone who is bitten is put in a holding area. They are looking for people who are immune. If they are immune they are taken to the CDC because they are trying to make a vaccine or cure. So far, in the entire country there have been 5 people. Daddy said that the military claims the people who are sick are already dead. They are euthanizing everyone who is sick. Like Nazi's or something.

The Lieutenant they spoke with said that we need to be on the lookout for hoards. They tend to gather in groups and if they over power someone that there will be nothing left. They are attracted by light and noise. They wont eat dead things either. They only eat if it's alive and still moving. Apparently it has spread across the country and there have been some cases in Asia, Africa and Europe. Australia is supposedly untouched, but they have ramped up their coastal security and are letting no one in.

Maggie, Patti and I canned more tomatoes and squash and pickled more beets and cucumbers. The honey dews are ready. We had some with lunch and dinner today. We will have them for breakfast to. We would usually have them at the little stand at the end of the driveway but our road hasn't had much traffic recently. If we don't want it wasted we need to use it up. Maggie, Patti and I were talking about what we are going to do with all this fruit. We're having bumper crops with our cantaloupe, honeydew, squash, cucumbers, watermelons and pumpkins. Some of it we shall can or pickle. I have never canned or pickled melons. Patti says we can pickle watermelon rinds but for the rest we need to look through the Blue Ball canning books.

Daddy wants us to be in bed by sundown from now on. No noise, no candles or flashlights unless we are in a bathroom, closet or the basement. I don't have a flashlight or candle anyway. Its almost to dark to see so I will write more tomorrow.

Saturday August 6th

Isabel and I are in the tree house again, enjoying the cooling breezes in the shade of the kudzu and trees. I brought the gallon thermos of herbal raspberry mint tea and a picnic basket with ham sandwiches and peach cobbler for Jimmie and I.

Maggie, Daddy and Patty took three chickens to the old tobacco barn for Mama, Shawn and Jennie. Daddy has been real worried about them not eating anything we've given them, so he decided that since the sick seem to only want to eat living meat, he would put a chicken in for each of them and see what would happen. What happened was that as soon as the chickens realized they were being chased with les than friendly intent they flew up to the rafters and stayed up there out of reach. Mama, Shawn and Jennie didn't seem to realize that they weren't going to reach them and kept reaching towards the birds for an hour and a half. Maggie took a ladder and leaned in the open gable on one side of the barn and tried to knock the chickens off of the rafters with an old straw broom. The chickens just flew off to another rafter just out of reach. Maggie then tried to throw rocks at them, but all they did was hop around from one beam to another.

Daddy was relieved that Mama, Shawn, and Jennie seemed to be interested in something so he went back to the coop and got three more. This time he broke a wing and a leg on each one so that they wouldn't run so fast and wouldn't be able to get up to the rafters. Maggie said that the rest was pretty grisly. When Mama, Shawn and Jennie managed to catch the chickens they ripped them up and ate the feathers, guts and everything.

Daddy is just glad they are eating. He refuses to neglect them any more than we already are. He realizes that its not safe for us to have them in the house unless they are tied up. Keeping them tied up is cruel. If they got out of the room they are in they would be dangerous to us because they could spread the sickness. If we get sick who will take care of them and the farm? We feel bad about them being in the barn, but realize that it is necessary. We are all horrified by how they are eating but they need to keep their strength until a cure is found for them. They are truly in an awful state.

In the meantime Daddy wants us to be extra safe and healthy, healthy and safe. No one is going anywhere alone so I'm not alone. I'm watching Jimmie mow the hayfield that this tree house is suspended near. I have one of the walkie-talkies Daddy, Shawn, Otis and Jimmie take hunting with them every year. Daddy and Otis are keeping one with them, Patti and Maggie have one in the house to use and the last one is being kept as a spare incase one of the others gets lost or broken.

When Jimmie and I left, Maggie and Pattie were slicing peaches up to dehydrate. They are also going to make puree to dry into fruit leather, kind of like fruit roll ups without the gelatin powder and sugar. Monday they will dehydrate tomato slices and dry tomato puree with spices into sheets to use in soups and things. It doesn't take many hands to do that so I get to have a lazy day.

Tonight I wont be so lazy. I need to get out Mama's Make-A-Mix book out so that I can make more biscuit mix and corn bread mix because we are running low on both. I think I know where it is, but if I cant find it the mixes can wait 'till Monday when we go to Uncle Otis and Aunt Patricia's home and borrow her copy. They are going to pack up some things to bring to our home since Daddy has asked them to stay until everything blows over. Daddy, Jimmie and Otis already herded Otis' cows, sheep, and goats to our pastures. They are going to get his prize winning hog, sow, and gilts today as well as his chickens. Monday will mostly be bringing in his early crops, hay, and garden produce. We usually do all our canning together anyway, so that won't really be much of a

Sunday August 7th

Sorry I left off so abruptly. Some one came out of the woods that block the view of the farm from the road yesterday and came at Jimmy, but she couldn't keep up with the mower. I called Daddy on the walkie-talkie to tell him what was going on. Shortly after I talked to him Uncle Otis and he came with the catch stick and took her to the barn. Daddy thinks the most charitable thing we can do for her is keep her safe until a cure is made. Once they had her collared we went with Daddy and Otis to help put her in the barn. I distracted Mama, Shawn and Jennie by stirring up the chickens in the rafters by tossing small pieces of gravel at them like Maggie. While they were distracted at the other end of the barn Daddy kind of shoved her into the barn and released the catch stick and Otis and Jimmy quickly slid the door shut again and padlocked it so that our sick don't get out and get lost wandering around aimlessly like they seem to do.

Isobel doesn't like being around the sick. She shied away from the girl whenever we got within a few yards of her. As we began to approach the tobacco barn she got even more skittish so I ended up having to tie her to a tree with the lead rope so that I could help put the girl in the barn.

Today was a lot like last Sunday. Maggie played "I Am A Child of God", "He Lives", and "I Need Thee Every Hour". Daddy gave the opening prayer and I did the closing prayer. Otis blessed the sacrament and Jimmy passed it to everyone

Daddy taught lesson 32 from "Gospel Principals". It was about how G-d gives us everything and we should be grateful and realize that nothing is ours. It's all his and so we should be willing and even eager to impart what we have to others. In that way the Lord can work through us to bless others.

Maggie taught Lesson 32 from "The Teachings of Joseph Smith Jr.". She taught about how the early saints were persecuted for what they believed and how they overcame their trials and endured and remained steadfast in their principals to the end.

Patti and I made chicken vegetable soup. I made bread bowls by rolling the bread dough into six flat rounds. I placed each one over an overturned, greased soufflé dish to rise and partially bake. Then I removed the bread from the soufflé dishes and set them upright on a cookie sheet and brushed a thick coat of whisked egg on the insides and let them finish baking. We served the soup in the bowls and it was wonderful.

Today was a very peaceful quiet day, except for feeding Mama, Shawn, Jennie and the girl. I think everyone needed a little quiet time to reflect on how we have been blessed, gather ourselves from our recent trials and try to put things in an eternal perspective, and just rest because we all worked very hard this week and we will likely work really hard next week too. Just because Mama and Shawn are gone does not mean that the things they did don't need to be done any more. We have to divide up their work and get it done as well. We still have a lot of canning to do. We have had bumper crops with the produce and hay. Daddy and Otis are anticipating that there will be a lot of silage too. They will be working on that next week. They were talking about inspecting and getting the overflow silo in the south field ready. It's been 3 years since there was enough silage to need to use it.

I need to get to sleep if I'm going to do the ironing before it gets hot outside. I am going use the old flat iron Mama always used as a doorstop to the root cellar. I intend to iron some rags before I iron anything that I don't want to spend a lot of time fixing.

Monday August 8th

It's been an nice summer day. The sun was bright in the sky, the air was humid and clammy, with occasional less hot breezes. It was a good lemonade in the shade day. Maggie, Patti and I spent it harvesting as much as we could from Patti's garden, dragging canning jars up out of her basement, and hunting down her Ball Blue Books. She has every issue published since 1968. She also grabbed her Make-A-Mix books for me to borrow.

We were home in time for lunch. Afterwards we canned. I am starting to get tired of canning. We have never come close to filling the shelves of the basement pantry. Most years we only use about a quarter of them. This year we have filled almost a third of them and we aren't even half way through canning season.

Jimmy and I stopped at the pond to eat the lunch Aunt Patti packed us. While we were there we did a little fishing and we sure caught a bunch. Jimmy caught 5 as big as my arm, and I caught 4. They were biting good but since we had more than everyone was likely to eat in one meal we decided to quit. Everybody was excited to see the fish. Otis wants to smoke some in the smoke shack by the tree line near the orchard so we may all take a break and go to the pond and relax a bit, maybe have a bit of a picnic and do some fishing. When I came up here they were planning for Friday.

I made peanut butter cookies for after Family Home Evening tonight. It's my turn to plan it and I really felt that with how serious things have been and with the constant pace of the last week or so that we should do something fun. We are going to have a game night. I think Apples to Apples and Headbands will be fun, and no, there is no such thing as too old for Headbands. I was going to bring Scrabble down to the parlor too but it has disappeared. I will probably find it on accident in the morning.

By the way, I burned up three rags while ironing with the flat iron today, but I totally had the hang of it by the 6th rag. I just got to remember not to have the gas burner on too high cause it gets hotter than wood coals would get it and I also need to remember to let it cool a little before I use it. I found that I can keep a small ramekin of water on the ironing board. If I dip my fingers in the water and flick the water at the old iron, I can tell how hot it is by how loud it is when it sizzles off. Once I figured that out it was a piece of cake.

Tuesday August 9th

Well, I finally got around to making more cornbread mix, biscuit mix and basic cookie mix. I made the bread today so that Maggie and Aunt Patti can put their efforts into canning. Once they had a system doing they were quick, almost as fast as when Mama and Patti canned. I really wish Mama was well. She is so fun to can with. She would start every one singing and it would make it seem less like work and more like a social occasion.

I guess we are all a little depressed about what's been going on but Daddy has been trying really hard to keep every ones spirits up. Maybe I should start the singing for Mama. If she were in her right mind she would be awful disappointed in how I've been letting all this get me down. She always said waiting the bad things out only gets us to the other side eventually, but if we keep an eye out for the beauty around us and keep enjoying life through our trials not only do we get to the other side but the journey can be looked back on fondly and we can appreciate what Heavenly Father was trying to show us.

I wish I could figure out what I'm supposed to learn from Mama, Shawn and Jennie being sick like they are. Maybe that I should appreciate them better. I've gotten better at taking care of the house, I've learned more about canning and I now know how to take care of the laundry and ironing without the 'lectric to do everything. I guess I'm having to trust that the Lord will bring us through this.

I haven't been working on my goals lately so I will start over again. I will work on being more thankful and showing the people around me how much I appreciate them. I will start thinking good thoughts about people when they annoy me or frustrate me, and I will sing more because Mama would be sad if she realized I was so down I haven't sang outside of Sunday Sacrament Meetings since she got sick. That will be my new Smart Goal.

Specific I will sing a minimum of 5 songs a day.

Measurable Yep, 5 songs is measurable.

Attainable I know plenty of songs so unless I loose my voice somehow yes it is attainable.

Relevant Well, it will help lift me out of my moodiness, and maybe lift those around me too.

Time Bound Yes, 2 weeks.

I'm going to write Aunt Patty a note thanking her for helping Maggie and I learn about canning, rather than doing it all and only letting us watch. I'm also going to thank her for teaching me how to set up the washing and starch for hand washing. Then I'm going to help with the dishes and sing When We're Helping We're Happy. Maybe I can get Maggie and Aunt Patty to join me.

Wednesday August 10th

I sang well over 5 songs today. I don't know how many I did sing but it was gobs more than 5. Washing the laundry by hand is hard work, even if everyone wears their clothes an extra day. Singing made the work seem to go faster. Maggie and Aunt Patty offered to help but I told them that I realized how important the canning was going to be this year and that I could handle it. Believe it or not, I had the washing done and hung out to dry by the time Maggie came out to tell me lunch was ready.

After lunch I volunteered for dishes. There were a ton of them, mostly from canning. I started singing and soon Maggie and Aunt Patty joined me. Daddy commented that it was so nice to hear us being happy.

The only problem with washing laundry by hand is that it really dried out my hands, and my arms are sore from the lifting and carrying and cranking and scrubbing. I'm glad that I put the wash tubs in the shade or I would be sun burned too.

I am almost out of lotion. Aunt Patty knows lots of things, maybe she knows how to make lotion. I should ask her.

Thursday August 11th

I am on the warpath. I will figure out lotion. Aunt Patty said her Grandma used to make lye soap. First she made lye by dripping water through a flour bag of oak ashes and collecting the lye in a bucket under the bag. Then she melted animal fat and a bar of glycerin and stirred in the lye over medium heat. Sometimes she would stir in herbs so it wouldn't smell so bad. For lotion she used lard which is beef fat, pork fat and chicken fat(or any fat at all)melted and stirred until it thickened and then melt some.. After everything was smooth she poured it into crocks to cool. She put herbs in that too. Sometimes to smell nice and sometimes to make ointment for wounds and scrapes. For colds her grandma would chop up spearmint and sassafras and boil it until most of the liquid was gone and mix it into the lard to make a homemade kind of Vicks.

For lotion like I want I need cocoa butter, shea butter, petroleum jelly or lanolin and fragrance oil. In the meantime, I can use some of the udder cream Daddy keeps in the cabinet by the milking stalls. It's greasy but is working really well.

I decided that ironing will go better if I do it the day after I do laundry. If it is still a bit damp it's easier to get the wrinkles out of things. When the starch air dries the wrinkles stay and set hard. I had to dampen all of the laundry I had set aside for ironing. It was a pain in the neck.

Daddy and Jimmy and Otis are almost done bringing in the hay. They will replant the hayfields in alfalfa and clover for October hay. They went to town for a part for the bailer but they said most of town seems deserted. Daddy helped himself to the part after they found Lou and Bill sick at the store. They brought them back in the pickup to put in the barn till the government figures out how to fix everyone. Daddy figures they cost of the chickens they will eat over the next few weeks will pay for the part.

Speaking chickens, I promised Maggie I would make chicken and dumplings.

Friday August 12th

Well, I think we have canned and pickled about everything we can pickle. We have been eating up the melons. I usually love melon and the only reason I'm not sick to death of them is that Aunt Patty has been alternating between watermelon, cantaloupe, and honeydew. She has this sweet marinade she puts over them cubed and mixed together that's good too. Especially when she adds the berries. All I know is that it has mint and thyme.

Maggie and Aunt Patty think we should be done with the canning in a few more days. All that is left is tomatoes and more peaches. We are almost out of canning jars and seals anyway so its just as well. The rest of the garden should be able to keep us well fed if things stay the way they are.

I know that seems like I've lost hope, but I think we would have heard something on the radio by now, or the TV. Maybe a cell signal or a flash of electricity, or something. Also, usually we would have seen someone by now. We have seen no one who isn't sick. Aunt Patty and I are the only ones who haven't been into town, but from what Maggie and Jimmy have said, things are pretty gruesome. Bodies lying around and left to decompose. You would think someone would see to their proper burial. Someone of the governmental variety at least, but according to all of them Newnan and Sonoia seem completely deserted except for the bodies and sick people in some of the buildings. This may not seem like enduring well, but I think I should prepare myself for things to stay the way they are. I think Uncle Otis is thinking this way too. This morning he was talking about his wheat harvest and looking at the old mill house.

Well, I had better get on the mending, otherwise it will be dark before I finish. I don't want to do mending tomorrow because Maggie, Jimmy and I are going fishing and plan to be away from the house most of the day. Maggie and I will be up early to pack a pick nick.

Saturday August 13th

It was so nice to get away from the house and actually have some fun. Daddy and Uncle Otis insisted on us taking one of the walkie-talkies with us. Jimmy drove us to the reservoir in his beat up 1982 Dodge Ram. It's red and primer. Mostly primer and bondo really, but it runs. He has rebuilt everything on it. He was even set to get it repainted but then everything happened.

We swam, we fished and fished and fished. We ate and laid in the sun. We had a water rigged the zip line back up and we took turns on it landing in the water. We played and relaxed and had more fun than I've had all summer.

I have come to the realization that I have grown since last summer, taller some and my hips and chest are larger. My waist and thighs and arms are much more toned. I noticed this because of how my swimsuit fit. It must be from constantly lugging water for laundry and for Aunt Patty to can with. Anywayir was tighter around my hips and boobs and it barely came up high enough to be decent. I figured since we were family it didn't really matter but Jimmy gave me a few looks, and even though Aunt Patty and Uncle Otis adopted him, the idea of him getting those thoughts makes me kind of nauseas. After the third time I caught him staring I put on my t-shirt. Its probably a good thing too. I'm burned enough as it is.

All together we caught more than forty fish. They weren't small either. I guess its because not a lot of fishing has gone on with no one around to do any fishing. We caught mostly trout and bass. Maggie caught a few catfish but tossed them back because she doesn't like them. She think's they're "Gross".

I finally got to soak in the sun and work on my tan and managed to attain an even medium pink color. Ok, maybe a pale pink but it feels like it may as well have been lobster red. Maggie put aloe on it when we got home but it still itches and burns.

Since we brought back so much fish, Otis showed us how to prepare the fish for smoking. First we cleaned all and set aside what we were going to grill for dinner tonight and tomorrow. Then we soaked the rest in marinade made of lemon juice, balsamic vinegar, salt and pepper. While the fish soaked up the marinade, he showed us how to set up the smoker with wood chips. He likes hickory for most smoking, but he said fish does better with peach wood. I guess we will know tomorrow night at supper.

Tonight we are having it grilled with fried okra, squash and onions, salad greens and Patty's melon and berry salad. Cooking outside has its advantages. The house doesn't get so hot for one thing. When our house was first built there was a summer kitchen near where the pump is. It burned down about eighty years ago, but it was used as a place to cook in a huge fire place and over a wood stove.

There is something going on!

Sunday August 14th

Nellie foaled yesterday. It took her 3 hours. She had a beautiful little filly. She is pure black with a thin white mark that runs most of the way along the middle of her back. I'm thinking of naming her Moonbeam. She was really wobbly at first but was skipping and prancing around her mom like a pro today.

Nellie is really protective of her. Jack seems well aware that he is a father. He nuzzles her and Nellie a lot.

I've been keeping her stall extra clean. Daddy And Uncle Otis drove to the clinic to get her vaccines and vitamin drops. Nellie will continue to use her prenatal vitamin block until Moonbeam weans.

Instead of talks and testimonies, Daddy thinks that with so few of us, we should only partake the Sacrament and have two lessons out of the manuals or as the spirit guides the people giving the lessons. Daddy, Jimmy and Otis are going to take turns with the first lesson of the meeting. Maggie, Aunt Patty and I will take turns with the second. From now on we will have testimonies on Fast Sunday. I'm kind of glad. I know he has been worried about conducting worship since there are only six of us now. Its amazing the difference four people can make.

Today, Sunday Meeting was focused on new life and how the Lord blesses us in our trials. Daddy asked me to play "Sabbath Day", "With Humble Heart" and "How Great Thou Art". Uncle Otis and Aunt Patty did the lessons. It was almost like a regular family home evening.

Dinner was really good. Sliced fried sweet potatoes, grilled fish, bean salad, cooked greens and raspberry mint iced tea. Maggie made a peach cobbler.

Maggie, Patty and I have gotten really good at working together in the house. Its different than with Mama. With Mama you knew she was in charge and the buck stopped with her. Don't get me wrong. I totally respect Aunt Patricia. At the same time, she isn't Mama. She is family but a guest as well. She always consults us about the menu and the daily aspects of running the household. She knows more about cooking than Maggie or I, and to keep busy Maggie has been doing a lot of the dusting, sweeping, mopping, and polishing in the house. I've been doing the washing, mending and water hauling. The kitchen has become mostly her domain because she had to take charge of the canning. Maggie and I have helped in the past, but we were never in the thick of it. We were relegated to fetching and peeling under the direction of Mama and her. Even Mama followed her direction at times because she is almost seventeen years older than Mama and two years younger than Daddy.

Maggie is still bossy but she has been quieter. A little withdrawn. I think she misses a lot of her friends. Most of them went to Utah but a lot of them went to the refugee camp outside Atlanta. I think she worries about them. She has been spending a large portion of her free time in the stable reading or out riding Jasper. She proclaimed herself finished with all of her assignments for her online classes Wednesday. Now all she needs is internet so she can submit them.

Ordinarily I would be getting ready for school to start back up in about a week and a half. With everything that is going on, I hope Maggie doesn't have too much trouble resuming school.

Monday August 15th

Today we cleaned out the root cellar. I don't think anyone has been down there in years. It has sort of become storage for things no one wants ant more but cant justify throwing away. Daddy thought it would be a good project to keep Maggie, Jimmie and I occupied. The root cellar is connected to the rest of the basement and pantry by about three feet of hallway. There is also a set of stairs that come out next to the back porch. We started by the back porch. We found baby clothes that were probably from when Maggie, Shawn and I were babies. A highchair made of stainless steel and looked like it was from the 40's or 50's, several trunks of vintage clothes, and what may have been my Grandmother Green's wedding dress. We also found a butter churn, the remains of the still Daddy's grandfather kept set up in the woods nearby, washboards, kerosene lamps, a molasses pan, various tools, some really old books, a fully intact treadle sewing machine with the instruction book, lots of canning jars that had the old fashioned spring lids and rubber seals, a cradle, a cast iron spider and dutch oven set, some long handled cast iron fry pans, fire tending equipment, cauldrons, a free standing spit for cooking over a fire, and a bunch of other things that must have been salvaged when the cookhouse burned down. It took all day but we got it organized and actually found a lot of things that will be quite useful now that the power is out. With everything organized by category and straightened out the junk isn't to the stairs. It takes up about a third of the root cellar. Daddy want's to store the garden produce we didn't can down there.

Maggie and Aunt Patty have been making plans for dehydrating the rest of the produce that they can. The sweet potatoes and potatoes are going to be ready soon to. Patty is going to show us how to braid the onion tops together for storage, and the garlic to. Then they want to string up the peppers to dry and they need the cool of the root cellar for that. Now that its been cleaned up they have been boggling my brain with their plans. You would think that they have no belief that this time next year they will have access to a grocery store. It can't last that long. It can't, it can't, IT CAN'T!

I couldn't stand them any more which is why I'm watching Moonbeam instead of helping them make dinner. Otis brought the smoked fish in this afternoon and while I'm looking forward to eating it I just can't be around those two right now. I'm 16 and officially allowed to date but there is no one to date. I'm going out of my mind. Gertie is dead. Mama, Shawn and Jennie are sick and don't know me any more. No one to talk to. Just writing, writing, writing. I'm just so lonely.

Tuesday August 16th

I volunteered to bake today and mind things while Daddy, Uncle Otis, Aunt Patty, Maggie and Jimmy go to check out the other farms in the area and go to the grocery store to see about toiletries, dry goods and the like. I made 4 loaves of white bread, 4 loaves of wheat bread and 4 loaves of potato bread.

I also made 2 loaves of pumpkin bread and 2 loaves of cinnamon raisin bread. I also made a sour cream pound cake and a batch of raspberry syrup. The cinnamon raisin bread will be made into french toast in the morning.

By the time I finished putting the bread in the Rubbermaid bread boxes and cleaning up the kitchen it was well past lunch time, and they weren't back yet. I swept and mopped the entire downstairs, I even rolled up the parlor rug and swept and mopped under it too, and they weren't back yet, I drug the parlor rug outride and flipped it over the fence to beat the dirt out of it, smoothed it with the rug brush, drug it back inside and unrolled it back in the parlor, and they weren't back yet. I made my bed and picked up my room and I went out and fed the animals, and everyone in the barn, and they weren't back yet. It got to getting dark outside and I realized I was hungry so I started dinner. I dished out mine and put the rest in the fridge. I ate, washed my plate, I went out and got the milking done for Daddy. and they still aren't back.

I hope they are ok. The army guy said that if you get surrounded by the ill you can become overpowered and killed. I've prayed so much since dinner. They were supposed to be home in time for dinner and they could be just about anywhere, at one of the farms, Food Lion, Little Sue, or Rite Aid or anywhere. It's almost dark and it is safer with the lights out.

Wednesday August 17th

They still aren't back yet. I did the washing. That took until about lunchtime. It was all dry by about 2pm. I had it folded and put away in time to start dinner but instead I ate leftovers from last night like I did at breakfast and lunch. I fed the animals before breakfast and dinner. I groomed the horses. I got the milking done this morning and after dinner. The house is as neat as a pin. I'm starting to get scared. I'm out of things to occupy myself with and I'm to anxious to just sit and read. Ironing is for tomorrow, but I'm going to go ahead and start on it or I just might go crazy.

Thursday August 18th

Well, they're back. They went out to check on the farms. The Jensen's farm is Ok and so are the Haywood's and the Hogge's and the Stevens'. The O'Keefe's, the MacMillan's, the Taylor's and the Anderson's have been abandoned. The Barclay's the Littman's and the Warren's are all sick. They were put in a few horse trailers and brought to back to keep in the barn until this is all over. There were 3 people at the gas station, 7 at the grocery store and 5 at the drug store. They are in the barn now too. That makes almost 40 people in the barn. I think it could be dangerous if they managed to get out of the barn. It's a good thing Maggie, Otis and Daddy made sure it was really extra sturdy when they reinforced it.

So why were they late? Because there was a whole bunch of sick people outside the gas station on the way home. They waited on the roof for two nights waiting for them to move on. Fortunately the ladder to the roof was in the store room so they had access to Doritos and potato chips, candy and soda and bottled water. They brought back a ton of it. That purple spot there? Yep, it is wonderful, refreshing, delicious grape soda. The first one I've had in over a month.

While they were gone, before they went to town they checked up on Grand Daddy's flour mill. Daddy, Otis Jimmy and Maggie think that they can get it up and running again. The stone and gearing is still intact. All it needs are some repairs to the water wheel. That means that Daddy and Otis will bring in their wheat crop instead of making silage and plowing most of it under. It hasn't run since 1952 when the local farmers started selling to Gold Medal Co. They had their own grist mills where they ground wheat, buck wheat, corn and made rolled oats. Daddy and Otis are going to start making the new wheel tomorrow morning.

I am so glad everyone is safely home.

Friday, August 19th

This morning after the chores, Patty showed Maggie and I how to use some of the old canning jars that were down in the root cellar. The ones that used paraffin and the ones with the rubber rings, but she doesn't trust those really, and said that we should only use them like Tupperware or for things that can be left out without spoiling. I think that they are prettier than plastic and washing any greasy residue off of them is easier. Also, they won't melt if you accidentally leave one near the stove. They shatter. I guess that is more of a minus.

This afternoon we all rode the horses out to the river for a pick nick, swimming and fishing. We decided to take the horses because they have an uncanny way of knowing when people with the illness are nearby. Daddy and Aunt Patty stayed on the banks watching the fishing poles from folding chairs, while the rest of us played in the water. Otis and Maggie raced to see who could swim the river to the other side and back, and Otis won. I'm a slowpoke on land and see and didn't bother racing. We got home in time for Otis and I to get the fish in the smoker while Daddy and Jimmy did the chores and Maggie and Aunt Patty got dinner ready.


	4. Chapter 4

For the disclaimer, please see the Authors Note at the beginning of Chapter 1

The Journals of Elizabeth Anne Green

Chapter 4

Saturday, August 20th

Daddy, Otis, Jimmy and Maggie went out to try to get the water wheel from the old mill and met Mr. Haywood and his three oldest sons. He has seven sons and a daughter. Pricilla is 12. Mrs. Haywood has often said that Pricilla was the reason they have so many children. If she had come sooner there wouldn't be so many. Mrs. Haywood treats her like a doll, and Pricilla revels in the attention. David, Peter and Paul along with their Father were very excited about the prospect of getting the mill running. In exchange for help getting fuel and such, they helped get the old wheel off the axle.

Old Man Jim has been staying on his farm which is right next to the Haywood's farm, and they may all come up to our farm together on Monday to get the new wheel built and installed. Old Man Jim is at least 90 and as spry as a 20 year old. He claims it's the whiskey that keeps him young. He is also a terrible flirt. He has been running his farm alone since I can remember. He knew my grandfather and sometimes they traded labor and stuff. I'm sure Old Man Jim will know lots of things about how to run the mill and get it working. Daddy is sure too. Daddy may even offer him the guest room until things blow over in exchange for his expert advice.

Today while they were off on their adventure, Aunt Patti taught me how to skim cream and make butter. We don't have a butter mold so she showed me how to line a loaf pan with waxed paper and pack it down. Then we put it in a bucket of cold water to float around in while it cooled. This evening we took it out of the loaf pan by pulling the paper edges up. Then we cut it into sticks. We seasoned one pan with cinnamon and sugar for toast and pancakes and biscuits. The other 2 pans are just plain salted butter. Monday she is going to show me the recipes for some savory butters and garlic butter for making garlic bread. I need to go help Jimmie and Maggie haul water so that everyone can get their bathes.

Sunday, August 21st

Not much to write, I'm afraid. We seem to be falling into a bit of a routine. I'm not complaining, far from it really. Getup and feed everyone. Feed the animals, milk the three milch cows, collect the eggs. Come inside and wash up. Get church clothes on. Don't race to get in the car because we're staying home. Be at the entry to the parlor by 10 o'clock sharp. Daddy gets testy if he has to delay meeting for you. Play some hymns so everyone in the house knows the meeting is going to start. Sit and listen. Fulfill your assignment (prayer or talk) and politely wait your turn to speak during class discussions. Patti, Maggie and I cook a small lunch and a bigger dinner.

Today's theme was service, and about how the Lord shows his love for us by serving us and doing good things for us. Even though sometimes everything seems to be going wrong, if we see things through, when we look back later we can see G-d's hand working for our good. Sort of like when Jennie's car broke down on her way to work last January. Her phone picked the wrong time to die and she had forgotten her charger at home. Since she was closer to the Little Sue than to home she started walking to work because she had thought that she could call her dad to help her get it towed from work. Well, she was an hour and a half late. If she had been on time she would have been there when a couple of guys robbed the store. Mike was still there waiting for her. Even though he was roughed up a bit he gave as good as he got. The guys who did it had hurt a woman the next town over really bad the week before. I still remember how shaken up about it she was, and everything was over when she got there.

Or how I burnt a sheet and learned to patch it up prettier than it was before.

The only thing that deviated from what is becoming our Sabbath routine is that we spent the evening getting the house ready for company. Pattie brought up a few jars of peaches and a tub of lard she had made a few weeks before. We made pie crusts for tomorrow so it won't ruined by the heat of the day. The key to good pie crust is handling it as little as possible and keeping it all cold.

It's getting dark and Daddy doesn't want us using up the flashlights.

Monday, August 22nd

I'm pretty sure that they spent half the day just chit chatting and measuring. They measured every side of everything. They measured inside angles and outside angles. The only difference between the new wheel and the original is that Daddy used the generator to run power tools to make all the parts and the original was hewn by hand. Daddy and Otis were able to salvage most of the metal parts. The ones they couldn't reuse, Dave was able to use as patterns to make new ones from some metal scrap and the acetylene welding torch in the workshop.

Mr. Haywood brought a doe he poached out of season. He, Old Man Jim, Otis, Jimmy and Daddy spent a lot of time debating whether it's ethical or not seeing as the game warden is Ill. Daddy argued that not getting caught doesn't make it less wrong, Otis thinks a man should be able to feed his family as long as he's not being greedy and uses the animal as entirely as possible, Old Man Jim has always been outspoken about government overreach and personal responsibility. Jimmy was concerned about a lack of interest in conservation of wildlife and ruining ecosystems by endangering the deer. Never mind that deer tend to over breed their grazing grounds if their population isn't culled regularly.

Mrs. Haywood brought canned sausage, kidney beans, canned chili, few bars of her organic goat milk and lavender soap, and best of all a few small bottles of goat milk and honey lotion. We didn't send them of empty. We sent several quarts of peaches, strawberry jam and boysenberry syurup.

She promised to lend me a book on how to make it tomorrow when we all meet at the mill to get the new wheel set up. She makes it year round to sell at the farmers market and it's usually very popular. This year she said she has more than she could ever use because the farmers market ended almost as soon as it began this year. She and Pricilla said they will have some rose petal shampoo and conditioner for us when we meet up to mill the wheat and corn. I'm sure looking forward to it.

She is really into organic cleaners and not using chemicals and told me a few things I can do for the laundry and house if we run out of other cleaners. Prissy and I went along the tree line and she showed me what which hazel, yarrow and a few other disinfecting herbs look like. I showed her the tree house, and after our snack we went back to the house with a small basket of the witch hazel we had picked.

Mrs. Haywood, Maggie and Patricia spent most of the morning comparing notes on what had been going on and how it may have started. Prissy and I got back just in time to help make lunch for everyone. Jimmy, James and Hank set out the saw horses in the yard, laid old doors from the shed across them and then scrounged out the folding chairs. With Mrs. Haywood and Prissy's help we managed to put out quite a spread for so many people.

I suppose I should write a bit of something about everyone so here goes:

Mr. Haywood has a farm about 6 miles south of us on Elders Mill Road. He grows mostly organic tomatoes and cucumbers and orchard fruits. He also grows a lot of oats, wheat and hay.

I already wrote about Mrs. Haywood.

Dave is their oldest he is 24 and works in a machine shop in town. He is divorced, and his ex wife moved to Virginia with their son and her new husband.

Paul is about Maggie's age they went to school together. He was home from school like Maggie. He was studying agriculture.

Peter is close to Shawn's age and is an assistant manager at Food Lion. Maggie says he is a gigolo. He seems ok to me.

Hank graduated just a few months ago. He seems pretty level headed. He drove here with some of his brothers. He likes to work on cars and wanted to show off how he fixed his up. It looks real nice. He said that on the way here he was able to go from 0 to 100 miles in under 2 minutes. That is way too fast for most of the roads between here and their farm.

James is a computer nerd. He spent a lot of time telling me all about the solar power system he put together so he can play his video games. He's kind of devastated about how he can't connect with World of Warcraft. He was in my math and English classes last year. He's Ok I guess.

Steven was going to be starting at the High School next week. He's disappointed. I can't blame him really.

Daniel is in middle school. Mrs. Haywood had him running around fetching things and being a general go'fer.

Old Man Jim is a real card. Maggie was taking lemonade to the table he was at and he grabbed her butt. I'm surprised she didn't dump it on his head. Probably because he's so old. He mostly grows corn and soybeans and has a pumpkin patch that Newnan Elementary brings the kids to on field trips each October.

Tuesday, August 23rd

The Mill is up and running. Realized we don't have any flour bags. We will make flour bags out of sheets tomorrow. Maggie, Otis, Dave, Peter and Paul got a bunch of pillowcases and sheets from the Roses department store. Spent most of the day sewing flour and cornmeal bags. Tuckered out.

P. S. Got the book about making lotions and stuff from Mrs. Haywood. She said I can give it back in when we mill the wheat and corn.

Wednesday, August 24th

Laundry Day, I miss the washer, 'nough said.

After laundry I made more flour bags. Daddy and Otis are working getting the corn cut and dried. The wheat has been sitting in the silo since the end of June. Usually it's taken to the co-op and they arrange the sale with the big commercial mills. Otis thinks he can "borrow" one of the big trucks from the co-op to move the grain from the silo to our mill, since he drove from the co-op to all the local farms every year before all this.

The treadle machine was really weird to use at first. It doesn't have a bottom spool. Instead it does this thing Patti calls a chain stitch. You have to tie it carefully at the beginning and the end of your seam. Apparently they only use it on bags of animal feed anymore but it used to be the standard stitch "back in the day". It's the stitch that you pull that makes the bag fall open if you pull it too fast. To keep the cloth from fraying, since there is no zigzag, you make two seams. The first to hold it together. Then you press the seam allowance inside and stitch it so that the original seam is in kind of a casing. She called it a French seam.

Monday everyone will be at the mill to get the flour and cornmeal ground. Patti, Mrs. Haywood, Prissy, Maggie and I are going to sew the bags shut in shifts because it gives the calves a good workout. Yesterday I sat sewing bags for an hour and a half straight trying to get the French seams right. When I got up for a drink my calves cramped up so bad I fell. Since then Patti and Maggie and I have been switching every half hour or so to walk around and do other things.

On another note, Daddy brought up that ordinarily school would be starting in a week. Since everything closed up after they relocated the refugee camp to Atlanta, the school looks to be closed for the long run. Otis says Newnan High School is completely overrun with the sick and is too dangerous to go near. I think Otis, Jimmy and Maggie are going to try the Barnes and Noble in Newnan or the Books-A-Million in Peachtree. If all else fails there is still the Library. I'm pretty sure Jimmy isn't as enthusiastic as he's acting. He hates math and if he comes across math books he's likely to pretend not to see them. I had geometry last year so I'm looking forward to Algebra II. Daddy wants me to make a list of ten books (they have to be classics) that I would like to read and write him reports on. I was looking through my papers and found a copy of 100 Books You Should Read Before You Die. I read some of them my freshman and sophomore years. Well here's my list:

Canterbury Tales

The Old Man and the Sea

Great Expectations

Grimm's Fairy Tales

How to Win Friends and Influence People

The Odyssey

War and Peace

The Princess Bride

Beowulf

The Art of War

I hope that when things get back to normal I won't be too far behind to graduate. I'm really looking forward to Mama, Daddy, Shawn and Maggie watch me walk across the stage, throwing my cap with the rest of my class and hanging my blue and gold tassel from the rearview mirror of the car.

Thursday, August 25th

We decided to stop sewing when we got to 300 bags. Daddy thinks each bag will hold 45-50lb of flour. If we fill them all that's 15000 lb. If you add how many Mrs. Haywood and Prissy manage to make it will be a lot. She is going to use a regular electric sewing machine because of the solar power James put together for his games.

We made more lard today. Patty has been saving any type of fat we get from venison to chicken. She only keeps the beef fat separate. That's for cooking with. The rest is for tallow. She said I could probably use it in place of paraffin and beeswax in the soap and lotion recipes. The beeswax she may decide to use for candles later. I'm just glad she did it outside because while it wasn't awful it wasn't exactly pleasant either. She also had me burn some branches that fell out of one of the oak trees in the last storm so we can make lye for the laundry. I think she is intending for us to make soap.

Daddy and Otis are avoiding leaving the farm if they don't have too. They said there are a lot of the sick wandering in groups and that they can be dangerous. The trip out to the mill Monday and the side trip for seeds and school books will likely be the last trips they make until this blows over.

Speaking of the ill, there must be at least 60 in the barn now. When I went to help Otis and Daddy put a couple of women in today there wasn't a lot of room left. Two of them got through the west pasture fence and ripped up a calf. They must have been so hungry and suffering so much to do that with bare hands. Such sad ladies. Maggie and I put one of Mama's housecoats on one of them because her dress was so shredded from being outside and probably getting caught on the fence, that it left almost nothing to the imagination. We couldn't find any ID on them. I pray that when they are well again that they will be able to rejoin their families.

Friday, August 26th

Yes indeed. Patti had Maggie and I made soap. We gathered a ton of witch hazel to chop up and add to it to make the soap good for disinfecting. We put mint in it too, because it's strong enough to cover the scent of the witch hazel. The soap for bodies we put honey, cream and lavender in. To finish off she let me make some flavored lip balms from honey and beeswax. I also made some of the herbal healing creams from the book. Witch hazel for wounds, spearmint and willow bark extract for sprains, and spearmint and sassafras for congestion. I'm glad we started early because we were finished before lunch.

I intend to spend the rest of the day copying the recipes that look the most useful into my glitter ruby red notebook that I got at the same time I bought this one. I only have today, tomorrow and Sunday before I have to give Mrs. Haywood back her book. Sunday doesn't really count because it's for other things. So I will be in the tree house while Daddy, Jimmy and Otis turn the scruff left over from the hay back into the ground and replant it in clover. Daddy is going to follow Otis in the old orange tractor spreading seeds. Otis is going to drive his big tractor with the disk blades to turn manure and scruff under behind Jimmy. Jimmy gets to drive the smaller tractor with the manure spreader. Yuck. I guess they will be taking our soap for a test drive before dinner.

SaTuRdAy, AuGuSt 27tH

ToDaY DaDdY, JiMmY aNd OtIs WeNt tO dO To OtIs' fIeLdS wHaT tHeY dId To DaDdYs FiElDs YeStErDaY. wE aLl WeNt. WhIlE tHeY dId ThAt pAtTi, MaGgIe AnD i AiReD aNd ClEaNeD tHeIr hOuSe. ClEaNiNg ThE fRiDgE wAs ThE wOrSt. SmElL. eVeR. wHeN tHeY cAmE tO sTaY wItH uS ThEy HaDn'T iNtEnDeD tO sTaY sO lOnG. tHeY aLsO hAdN't FiGuReD oN pOwEr LoSs. MeAt, mIlK, eGgS, vEgGiEs AnD lEfToVeRs. MaGgIe AnD i WeNt A bIt OuT fRoM tHe HoUsE nEaR tHe WoOdS tO dIg A hOlE fOr It AlL. yOu CaN't CoMpOsT mEaTy ThInGs AnD wE dIdN't WaNt To SoRt It. MoSt Of It WaS tOo GoOeY tO sOrT aNyWaY. pAtTi StAyEd In ThE hOuSe To ScRaPe ThE cOnTaInErS oUt wItH a KeRcHiEf OvEr HeR fAcE, bUt ShE sTiLl LoOkEd IlL wHeN wE cAmE bAcK iN.

hEr WeLl OnLy HaS aN eLeCtRiC pUmP sO mAgGiE sHoWeD uS hOw To UsE tHe JuMpEr CaBlEs To HoOk It Up To ThE cAr'S bAtTeRy AnD gEt It RuNnInG. tHe StOvE iS gAs So We WeRe AbLe To HeAt Up WaTeR tO wAsH dIsHeS aNd EvErYtHiNg ElSe ToO. pLuS, sHe HaD pInE-sOl AnD dAwN aNd BlEaCh AnD tIdE aNd GrEaSeD lIgHtNiNg! I kNoW. 6 mOnThS aGo I wOuLdN't HaVe BeEn So ImPreEsSeD.

i MaDe SuRe ThE mAkE-a-MiX bOoK gOt PuT aWaY pRoPeRlY. i AlReAdY pUt AlL tHe ReCiPeS i GeNeRaLlY uSe InTo My ReD nOtEbOoK. sHe Is LeTtInG Me bArRoW hEr ReAdErS DiGeSt CoMpLeTe GuIdE tO cRaFtS aNd HoBbIeS. iT hAs BaSiC bAsKeT mAkInG iN iT. tHe PlAsTiC oNeS mAmA hAs ArE aBoUt SpEnT sO iF i CaN mAkE sOmE nEw OnEs ThAt WoUlD bE gReAt.

BeFoRe ThEy CaMe In FrOm ThE hAy FiElDs, OtIs, JiMmY aNd DaDdY wEnT tO tHe Co-Op'S gArAgE aNd GoT oNe Of ThE tRuCkS aNd A tRaIlEr WiTh A mOvInG fLoOr AnD hAd AlReAdY fIlLeD iT wItH wHeAt FrOm OtIs' SiLo FoR mOnDaY. wE aRe GoInG tO mIlL a TrAiLeR oF wHeAt AnD oF cOrN fRoM eAcH fArM. oTiS', tHe HaYwOoD's, OlD mAn JiM's AnD oUrS.

oLd MaN jIm ToOk ThAt StIlL tHaT hAd BeEn In ThE rOoT cElLaR aNd LeT iT bE kNoWn ThAt He Is GoInG tO mAkE hIs OlD mAn'S mOoNsHiNe ReCiPe WiTh AbOuT a QuArTeR oF hIs GrAiN. hE sAyS hE iS dOwN tO 12 cAsEs Of JaCk DaNiElS aNd He'S tRiEd To CuT bAcK bUt He KnOwS tHaT aT hIs AgE tEe Dt'S wIlL pRoLlY kIlL 'iM iF hE rUnS oUt CoMpLeTeLy. 'PaReNtLy He HaS nEvEr ThOwN a WhIsKeY bOtTlE aWaY aNd HaS pLeNtY fOr BoTtLiNg It If Ya DoN't MiNd It BeInG mIsLaBeLeD. dAdDy ThInKs ThAt MiGhT nOt Be A gOoD iDeA. tHe TuBiNg Is OlD aNd It'S a BiT bAnGedD uP.

tHiS rOaD iS bUmPy AnD tHaT's WhY It'S aS mEsSy As It Is So I tHiNk I wIlL fInIsH lAtEr.

Sunday, August 28th

Today we had Sunday meeting about G-d's plan of Happiness. Basically we are here on this planet to learn and grow, but it's also a test. That is why adversity is called a trial, like when a car manufacturer put new designs through trials. A trial is a test to see what works and what doesn't. If something is going wrong or not working they figure out a way to fix it. They are constantly trying new better ways to fix problems in the hope of one day making a perfect car. We should be constantly trying to improve ourselves, learning and growing. When we aren't doing right we need to figure out what's wrong with our hearts and minds that we are screwing up and fix it with repentance and prayer. Our goal should be to become a perfect person. Will we ever be perfect? Of course not. There will never be a perfect car that never has any problems either. The whole point is to try our best. This test isn't graded by how many answers you get right or how many problems you fix. It's how much effort you put into it that really matters. Slacking off and goofing off won't get you anywhere, even if you think you have the answers.

That's kind of why Jesus told the rich young man to give all his stuff to the poor. He thought he already had all the answers. He lived his entire life perfectly by the law of Moses, he was already good at that. When he had to do something hard he couldn't put forth the effort and sacrifice necessary. Even if he had only been able to give a fraction of his stuff away, it would have been better than a flat out "No, I can't." without even trying.

When the widow only gave a mite which was like a penny-not very much- Jesus called it a good offering. Many people gave more than her but she gave all she had. So basically, Try, Try, Try your hardest. G-d gives E's for effort and an E is the best grade you can get.

The other thing is that as we encourage our families to do their best and as long as we do our best we get to be with our families forever. My grandparents are on the other side of the veil. Even Daddy's father. They are watching and rooting for me. They love me as much now as they did before. And so is Gertie. I'm sure she is watching and waiting too.

On another note, but still in the realm of self improvement and honest evaluations and effort, my goals

Work ethic:

I was unable to maintain steady employment, but I can honestly say, it wasn't my fault. Generally I hate excuses. I hate myself making excuses, however I have no idea how a major epidemic could possibly be my fault, or how I could have for seen or prevented it.

However, I am still doing the laundry, ironing and mending, which has ballooned into more physical labor than I've ever done in my life until now. On the bright side, hauling water, scrubbing, and cranking the wringer has really toned me up. My waist has trimmed, my butt is rounder, and my arms are strong enough that for the first time in my life I can pull myself hand over hand up the rope next to the fire ladder in to the tree house, and do pull ups.

I am still working on listen more talk less, but for the most part I'm doing really good.

I think I'm doing better at being compassionate and being more positive about annoying people. Prolly 'cause I haven't been around a lot of people 'ceptn family, and while Maggie steps on my nerves babying me all the time I know that it's just 'cuse she loves me and she means well.

And Jimmy hooverin' all the time. Daddy thinks it's cute and even indicated to me "subtly" that "cousins are ok to date technically because the bible doesn't call it incest, and even more technically Jimmy was adopted so genetically he isn't related at all. Plus Otis and Patti would prolly be tickled." Eew yuck! Sorry, not sorry, they're gunna have to get used to disappointment on that front, even if Jimmy's ok with it. I'm pretty sure he's ok with it because he keeps trying to hold my hand and I keep moving it before he can, while trying to play stupid about the whole thing. I've been trying everything Maggie told me about friend zoning someone nicely 'cept I'm calling it cousin zoning. Unfortunately however I label it its not working.

Ok. Positives need work

3rd positive for Maggie- She gives good advice sometimes

1, Jimmy is polite

2, Jimmy is a hard worker

3, Jimmy is kind and always thinks the best of people

On to thankfulness. For a while I was worried that I would be giving thankyou notes to everyone on the farm so often that it would weird people out or encourage certain parties that I wish would remain unincouraged if you get my meaning. That said. With the recent company we have had I have already finished a thankyou letter to Mrs. Haywood for letting me use her book. While they were here I slipped a thank you note into Prissy's pocket for showing me some of the more useful herbs growing about the farm. I am sure that more opportunities to show gratitude will present themselves.

Singing to keep every ones spirits up has been successful, and once I started it was so easy I kept it up without really thinking about it.

Monday, August 29th

Well, everything went swimmingly. Swimming in flour. We all kept our faces covered after about 5 minutes. We ground and packed all of Otis' wheat into the flour bags. All the flour bags and divvied them up according to the number of people in each household. I think everyone has enough flour to last a decade. Otis refilled the trailer, only half way this time, with Old Man Jim's corn. ¼ will just be cracked for the still and the rest will be ground into cornmeal tomorrow.

When Old Man Jim found out about my Useful Recipe's notebook he insisted that I bring it tomorrow.

My lukewarm bath was lovely, the soap is lovely and the lotion is divine and I don't feel like I'm covered in gluey paste.

I returned the soap book with the thank you note tucked discreetly inside.

Tuesday, August 30th

Today was more gritty than gluey. Used up the pillow cases on the corn meal and cracked corn. I have no idea how long it will take to use it all. Probably years.

Old Man Jim spent most of the day writing in my ruby red notebook. He wrote very, very, very, detailed instructions for setting up a still, operating a still, testing the product for safety, temperatures, times, seasons, ect. Like I said, detailed, complete with diagrams. Then recipes. How to make wine from grapes, berries and herbs, complete with pictures of the herbs and berries to prevent mistakes. How to collect the cream of tarter from making the wine, and how to make distilled vinegar(with a still), and cider vinegar and peach vinegar. Also cider, hard cider, ale, beer, pilsner, whiskey, cordials, medicinal elixirs, and four kinds of seasonal moonshines. Oh, and also two maps. One of his farm showing how to get to his field of pot (no I'm not kidding), where his cash savings are, and all of his important personal documents. He also drew a second map labeled in latitude and longitude (of all things) showing how to get to a farm in the Appalachians that was his great grandfathers, to which there is a deed in his papers.

He even started off with a dedication to his godson/grand nephews apologizing for not protecting them and their mother from their father who should have been accidently shot while hunting. "G-d knows I had plenty of opportunity" That alone was two and a half pages, front and back in very small neat script.

The last page was probably the most flattering proposal I will probably ever get. It was sweet enough that if he hadn't been all of 90 at least, I might have said yes. The next time I see him I will prolly give him a kiss on the cheek.

The last paragraph is a request that when everything is under control that I give it to his godson and or his grand nephew "if I don't live long enough to see them my own self." Along with the explanation that every day he don't wake up dead is a miracle at his age. He done lived a very full life and just wants reunited with his Emily. I never knew he had been married but he had. His wife passed away from a bad miscarriage and he's been morning her at the bottom of a bottle for well on 63 years. That and repenting that he didn't do enough for his sister's daughter.

He was busy jumping and climbing all over the gear work and such, I don't know how he managed to write so much.

It's sad that someone could come to the end of their life and feel so much regret for not committing the worst sin of all. How could someone regret not committing a murder? Will Dixon sounds a lot like Grandfather Green. Funny that. I wonder if Daddy ever wishes someone had killed Grandfather Green or if he thought his life would have been better if his father had been absent? I know Daddy was an alcoholic before he met Mama. If he hadn't quit would he have been like his father or Will Dixon? Would I have wanted him to die or leave and never come back?

I'm so thankful that I don't know, and I hope I never find out. I think if someone told me they were sorry they hadn't killed my Daddy and that it was the worst regret they had I wouldn't like them very much at all. I'm not sure that I can give anyone a letter like that. I just can't believe it's fueled by hate though, mostly because there's tear stains all over those parts. I almost felt rude reading it, even if it is in my own personal notebook.

Wednesday, August 31st

I think the laundry helped me get all the flour and corn dust residue off of me. It's nice to be able to sit in the shade under a damp sheet magnifying the cooling breezes. It's convenient for splashing the sweat off every once in a while.

It was also good to soak the reeds that I cut from the cattails growing in the pond. I made a basket. It's not very pretty and I didn't have enough cattails to make it very big. Its also sort of lopsided and lumpy in a few places. It is good for berry picking. I picked it full of berries to can and preserve, but it was hot when I came in, and Maggie and Patti seemed deep in discussion and didn't appear to need me, so I left to follow the men around.

Daddy and Otis butchered one of the beef cows today. I went with them to visit the barn and see Mama, Shawn and Jennie from the top of the hay loft window. They took a quarter of beef to feed the ill. It seems that they will eat already dead things as long as it's fresh. Like, still warm kind of fresh. I just get this uneasy feeling, even with Daddy and Otis being there. I can't describe it really. It just feels so wrong.

Thursday, September 1st

Well today I got off the farm. Maggie took me to the library for school books. Daddy sent us with a long list. We left a list of the cal numbers on the desk so that when the library reopens the librarian will know where the books went.

Maggie "checked out" the huge dictionaty by the desk that you aren't supposed to be able to check out. She showed me that the very front has all of the spelling and grammer rules listed and explained. There is also more than 10 pages about the history of the English language and how it evolved from old Germanic and Celtic and how you can tell what words are borrowed or are influenced by words from other languages, especially the "Romance" languages. Anyway, I learned that dictionaries have a lot more information than just definitions. It has maps and even a brief history of the world.

Instead of getting the 10 books I picked out, we got every book on the 100 books list that I hadn't read. We also got books about every skill we could possibly need.

We also went to the office supply two buildings down and meant to just get notebooks, binders, pencils and pens. While I was looking at some stationary, I saw a beautiful dark brown leather journal with metal bands on the spine, and a blue watermarked satin flyleaf. The pages had gilt edging and there was a blue satin ribbon sewn into the spine. The best part is that the cover zips closed. While I was looking at it I heard Maggie's panicked scream to run to the car. I was so scared when she yelled that I forgot to put it back.

She saw it of course. She has eyes like a hawk. I tried to explain how I had ended up taking it, and she charged right in and interrupted me before I had barely started. She didn't see anything wrong with stealing it. She was actually surprised that I'm keeping a journal. She only thought I had the red one that I'm kind of using as a recipe book. I told her all about Sister Fansler's challenge and she said she would have kept a journal for that kind of a prize too.

I still feel bad despite her reassurances. The biggest reasons why I feel bad is that the price tag says $174.99. The only thing I own that comes close to it in price is my computer, and that used to be Maggie's. It was handed down to me because she got a new one for college.

I also told her about Old Man Jim's entry in the red one.

That's when she said a lot of things that have been sticking in my mind. Some very quietly whispered rumors that Old Man Jim had a reputation for clairvoyance and that in recent years he was driven to drink as much by grief as nightmares that he had refused to speak of. Apparently Mr. Haywood is Old Man Jim's second cousin and he rarely takes to anyone that's not family.

When he was younger and less experienced he was with his parents at church and he told the preacher that he would be in an accident in front of everybody in the congregation. Of course his parents were horrified that he would say such a thing and tried to shut him up. But he kept right on anyway and said the preachers girlfriend would be hurt but not to worried because she and the baby would be ok. It turned out no one had paid much attention to the fantastic tales of a little boy. They thought it was cute that he referred to the preacher wife as a girlfriend and that he had mistaken being quite fat with being in a family way. Then Maggie proceeded to relate that the preacher was indeed in a car accident with a young lady in the car from the next county over. He suffered a mild concussion, and she had a broken arm and went into labor 4 weeks early. Turned out she thought they were married but it was invalid because he had been married to his wife for almost 30 years. He might have been able to keep everything separate except that they were brought in by separate ambulances and so when the nurse recognized who he was she contacted the church to get a message to his wife, not knowing he had been with the woman in labor. Well when his wife got there he was being handed a baby. She thought maybe he was ministering to the family until she realized there was no family there for him to minister to and saw that the empty bassinet in the window was labeled "Baby Boy Griffith." His parents were of course horrified but they never disregarded his warnings again. They just told him not to talk to people about that kind of thing unless he told them first and they said it was okay. They rarely said it was okay.

While they were working at the mill Maggie and a couple of the Haywood boys had decided to go for a quick swim. They came upon Old Man Jim sitting on the catwalk near the wheel scribbling at a furious rate in an uncharacteristically girly notebook. He called out to them that if Dave's socks fell into the water to swim back to the mill side of the water post haste. Well sure enough, Dave's socks got knocked into the water by an ill man who was really poor off. When he saw it Dave made to go get his socks and bat at the man with the stick. Before he got a chance to swim the first stroke toward where every ones shoes and socks were, Peter and Hank called out to him while Paul managed to actually grab him. They stopped him just as 10 or 15 of the sick came out of the woods on that side of the river. Needless to say they got back quickly and Dave made them promise not to mention that he hadn't entirely paid attention to a warning from "The Old Man".

She told me bunches of things that the Haywood Boys had told her. Including how he helped his dad run a still through the depression and how they didn't get caught 'cause he always seemed to know when to shut down and move it, and how my grandfather had almost decided to convert the mill to a boat house until Jim convinced him otherwise.

Maggie doesn't think things are going to get better. She thinks the church presidency gathered everyone for a reason, and the reason was what we were running from in that store. She doesn't think Mama or Shawn or anyone are going to get better. One thing she said really got to me. "Bethy, that one in the barn that Daddy sewed shut because his intestines were hanging out? Well I had to help him while Otis and Jimmy held him down. Bethy, he had no liver. It looked like it had been ripped out. There was no blood and Daddy couldn't get him closed with regular stitches because the skin seemed to be rotting. He ended up having to use surgical mesh and staples. Bethy, even if there were a cure or vaccine, there is no way for a body to sustain itself, or live in such a state of decomposition. I know Daddy loves us, but they're dead. I don't know why they keep moving or how they manage to metabolize but the heart isn't beating."

At that point I made her stop. Mama's not dead. Shawn is not dead, and Jeannie is not dead. They can't be. Daddy is a vet. I think he would know the difference between alive and dead better than someone who hasn't even started pre veterinary.

Friday, September 2nd

I've started the Art Of War. He is very big on planning, sneakiness, being clever, and picking at your enemys weaknesses. Also manipulation. He sees the best battle to be a battle where the enemy surrenders without a fight, and also living off of the enemy's supplies instead of your own. Basicly, you can win any battle by considering 5 things. Moral law, Heavens, Earth, the Commander and Method and discipline. Moral Law just means that everyone in your army is on board without reservation, Heaven is stuff like weather conditions and timing, Earth is the terrain and distance. Commander is the wisdom, sincerity, benevolence, courage and strictness of the leaders. Method has to do with the chain of command and discipline. It's only about 40 pages. I will probably finish it tomorrow. Daddy wants me to write a page about how the principles in it can help with conflict resolution, turning situations to my advantage and how I can apply it to my life. I don't know what to write but I'm sure I'll think of something.

Otis and Daddy to slaughtered a couple of hogs today. Usualy they would have gone to auction but I don't know of anyone having one. They got the brine ready yesterday. They will soak the hams, shoulders, bellys, and jawls for a few days and then salt pack it and refrigerate it for a while. Then they are going to be smoked with peach wood that they saved from the tree pruning last fall. The rest will be frozen as cuts or made into sausage. The refrigeration is the only thing Daddy is using the generator for, and he is only running it for a few hours a day. Long enough to keep everything cold or frozen. Since the men moved the refrigerator and chest freezers down to the root cellar they don't get very warm so it would take a few days for the freezers to loose all their cold.

Moonbeam is getting so big. Every time she sees me she trots up to get her ears rubbed. She is almost 3 weeks old now and, although she is new to the world, I have caught her chomping on grain a few times. I wonder what she thinks of apples. I think I'll bring her a slice and give the rest to Nellie and the other horses.

Saturday, September 3rd

It is such a pretty day. I'm at the tree house today. Daddy and Otis went to check the fences and said I could wait here for them to get back. The only condition was that I had to promise to answer if they call on the radio. It's warm, but not unpleasantly so. The cooling breezes are stronger up here than on the ground. I am supposed to be finishing The Art of War, but I'm thinking that a nap would be about perfect.

Jimmy about scared me to death. I fell asleep and didn't hear Daddy on the radio so they came to check on me. Jimmy was able to climb the rope and decided to kiss me. I was asleep and I didn't expect that at all so without thinking I punched him in the face. His lips were thick and wet and gross. He didn't have bad breath or anything but I am just not interested. Since I hit him I don't think he's interested either. He has a big bruise on the side of his face now. Daddy says he isn't hurt to bad and the bruise should go away in a week or so. Maybe he will learn to respect peoples personal space.

Three nice things about Jimmy are that he is helpful, kind and good at fishing.

I think Aunt Patti has been encouraging him. I hope this doesn't make things awkward Monday when we start getting tutored in math by Maggie. Since we are in the same grade we get to share "lessons".

It turns out that the reason I only had to pick out 10 books is the same reason Jimmy got to pick out 10 books. We both get to pick out books to read. We will trade books at the end of two weeks. Then we will get to discuss the two books and "grade" each others papers. Aunt Patti is going to check our grammar and spelling. It's a good thing we get 2 weeks to read each book. Jimmy is reading Gulliver's Travels.

I think The Art of War is the shortest book either of us selected. By the way, I'm done with it. Fortunately it was a quick read because I still have 2 weeks to figure out what to write. I may just read it again to stall on the writing part. Maybe something will come to me on the second reading.

Sunday, September 4th

Daddy taught the Sunday lesson today. The general topic was on the importance of learning. I think he was trying to emphasize that just because the University of Georgia isn't opening for classes, and the local schools are still closed, doesn't mean we get to stop learning. Learning is a life long thing. Daddy talked about how no matter how many times you have read the scriptures and prayed about them, you should do it again. Every time you read the Bible or The Book of Mormon different things will pop out at you. Usually what pops out at you is what you needed at that time.

I used to think it was kind of funny how the creation is in both the Bible and the Pearl of Great Price. One night I was thinking about it and I was saying my prayers I remembered that Sister Fansler used to tell us that whenever G-d repeats Himself it's because it's super important. We may not know why it's important, but, eventually, when the time is right for us we will understand. Line upon line, precept upon precept.

I discovered that Maggie is going to "apprentice" under Daddy. Daddy is going to have her read through Grzimacs Zooology, his old text books, and Dr. Pierce's text books. Dr. Pierce left his books in the veterinary office when he left to go to the refugee camp. He is also going to take her with him to the other farms to collect livestock that has been left behind. Mostly types and breeds we don't already have. I believe they are specifically look for llama's, goats, alpacas and maybe a dog for now. Maggie mentioned something about the Atlanta Zoo, but I don't think she needs to go looking for lions, tigers or bears. They should stick to looking for sick cattle for her to practice on. Not things that would be ok eating her.

I think I've learned a lot over the summer. I can mend, sew by hand, and both electric and treadle sewing machine. I learned how to do laundry by hand and iron with a flat iron. I can make lots of things, like baskets. I've made goals and stuck to them.

I'm going to think about 3 new goals to start tomorrow. I'm closing the old ones. I think they are well and truly accomplished. I will write my new ones down tomorrow.

Monday, September 5th

First I'm going to write my goals with an explanation as to why I picked my goals, then, I will write about today.

S specific: I will improve my handwriting.

M measurable: yes by comparison with handwriting now and in 2 months.

A attainable: yes, I just have to be more carefull and practice.

R relevant: Yes. Without my computer and printer working people are going to have to be able to read my handwriting.

T time bound: 2 months

I'm going to do this because I had to redo my rough draft about the Art of War. Aunt Patty told me she isn't going to wear out her eyes reading what I write. She said, "Poor handwriting is like stuttering" The whole point of writing is that someone might read it. I'm defeating my purpose if it's hard for anyone to read. I will start off by practicing the penmanship strokes she showed me today until I cover one sheet of paper, front and back, every day for a week. Then I will write out the alphabet to cover a piece of paper front and back daily for the rest of my goal time. While I'm practicing strokes I'm going to find the person who's handwriting I like the most and then when I get to actually practicing the letters I will try my best to copy it.

S specific: I'm going to get better at making baskets

M measurable: Yes by comparison.

A attainable: yes, through practice and hard work.

R relevant: yes, because I'm down to one usable but in poor condition laundry basket.

T time bound: One month because I will be lucky if the basket I have left makes it that long.

Daddy says it's getting more dangerous to leave the farm and I totally agree. The thing is, I'm down to using only one basket because the other three got busted. The laundry is heavy, and sometimes those plastic baskets crack and break. Sitting in the sun while I'm doing the laundry isn't good for the plastic either. It makes it brittle. I would like to avoid having to tie the laundry up in the sheets. It creases the corners and is hard to iron out.

S specific: Learn to darn socks.

M measurable: Yes, I will or I won't.

A attainable: I hope so.

R relevant: Yes, most everyone has socks in serious need of repair.

T time bound: Before winter.

Doing the laundry, I think I have an idea how everyone is doing as far as clothes. About a quarter of the socks I wash have holes somewhere. My pink and green striped ones, in particular. I'm not sure if Aunt Patti knows how. I can say that few of hers, Jimmy's or Otis' socks have holes, It's mostly Daddy's, Maggie's and my socks that need fixed. Since Aunt Patti has been doing her own mending and their socks are doing better, I think she may. I intend to ask her tomorrow because she mends on Tuesdays.

As far as how "school" is going I'm not sure. Patti has an excellent grasp of the English language. I spent most of the morning writing my rough draft, and then, rewriting my rough draft. I did catch a bunch of mistakes during the rewrite so it wasn't all bad. Then I wrote out the grammar rules from the front of the dictionary also. I'm supposed to memorize them.

Maggie had me skip counting by 3's, 4's, 6's, 7's, 8's and 9's because I didn't finish the math drills she gave me as fast as she thought I should have, and she agrees with Patti, that my handwriting sucks.

Jimmy and I took turns reading the history book out loud. We switched every other paragraph and then answered the questions separately. Then we swapped papers and checked each other's papers. Jimmy had me read my answers to him.

I think the real reason no one has read you is that maybe people have tried but gave up. I'm undecided as to whether that's good or not.

Tuesday, September 6th

Today I redid the math drills Maggie gave me yesterday and I was faster. Then she had me do all the odd number long division out of the review chapter. Jimmy got evens so that we don't try to "compare notes.

We did history the same way today as yesterday. I still had to read my answers to Jimmy.

I copied more grammar rules out of the dictionary. I practiced letter strokes.

Aunt Patti does know how to darn. She and Mama both learned how during a Relief Society Super Saturday. She is also going to show me how to knit socks and turn a heel.

I got permission from Daddy to trim one of the willow trees. He offered to do it for me when I told him why. He is even going to split them for me. The plastic basket is 18 inches long across the bottom, and about 10 inches tall. I asked him to cut them at least 45 inches long so I don't have to make everything absolutely perfect.

I smell bread.

Wednesday, September 7th

Shawn's arm fell off or came off, some how! How does a person's arm just fall off? It's all rotten. It's not like we can ice it and sew it back on at the hospital. Daddy and Otis got him with the catch pole while Maggie and I distracted the rest of everyone in the barn. Jimmy ran in and out to retrieve the arm. Otis and Jimmy and Patti and I held him down while Daddy and Maggie tried to piece the tissues together but most of it was too gummy to hold a stitch, and finally after an hour or so gave it up as a bad job.

I think my ribs are going to bruise from laying across his legs to keep him from kicking. I think intellectually, that it's impossible to rot like that and be falling apart and still be alive. Then I remember how one of my Sunday school teachers described leprosy. I see him moving and feel him kicking and snapping trying to bite and scratch people and know he has to be alive. He is cold and has no pulse that I could feel. It is so faint. Maybe leprosy and rabies got together and had a baby?

I guess when this is all over he will have to get a prosthetic. It will be okay. Mr. Donnelly was the football coach and he had a really cool prosthetic leg. It had the school colors on it and the mascot. Every year he would get a picture of the football team made and a copy would be put on it. If you looked at it you could see a picture of every team since 1998. He could run too.

I got 3 socks darned yesterday. My pink and green ones and one of Daddy's blue ones. I had to use Mama's freestanding magnifier. It's really not hard, just time consuming. The darning mushroom is just a stuffed sock end you use to stretch out the spot that needs darned so you can spot the threads and reweave the knitting.

We all had early baths after dealing with Shawn. Fortunately I had finished with washing the laundry and was just waiting for it to dry. I had left the water in the tubs to soak the willows so we didn't end up hauling more. I made sure every one knew to leave the willows in the water while bathing.

The book said they don't do so well the second time they get soaked, and they need to soak 1 hour per inch of length of the willows. They have to stay submerged. I did end up hauling more water after the baths for the willows because I don't want the willows to smell like rotten meat at all. They weren't out of the water more than a minute or two because I put them all in the cleanest tub and dumped the other two tubs. Then I cleaned the tubs and refilled them and transferred the willows to the fresh water and dumped the tub they had been in, refilled it and redistributed the willows so that none of them would poke out of the water and dry out. I should be able to start weaving on Friday.

Thursday, September 8th

After school work and chores were done Otis and Jimmy went out to scavenge gasoline. When they came back the whole back of the pickup was full of stacked gas and diesel cans. Otis was right behind Jimmy driving a natural gas truck. Usually we only need the tank outside the house filled two or three times a year. I don't know how many years worth of natural gas is in that tanker.

The willows have been soaking over 24 hours now and are much more bendy than they had been.

I've been darning daily and am getting faster at

it. I've done about 16 now.

Friday, September 9th

Basketry success! I made a basket that was the right size. I tried to make it a rectangle but it came out oval shaped instead. It is actually very even all around and although I pinched my fingers pretty well, I managed to get the weave pretty tight. I started as soon as breakfast cleanup was done and finished the rim of the basket in time to help make dinner. I have enough willows to make two or three more baskets but that will have to wait for tomorrow.

Saturday, September 10th

After dinner Aunt Patti taught me how to cast onto the knitting needles and do a garter stitch. I am going to make knitted potholders to get the basics of knitting. She wants me to be proficient in the garter stitch, stockinet, ribbing, pearling and the seed stitch before we start on socks. Since we really don't need a huge slew of potholders, I think I will stitch them together and make a blanket with them. Once I was able to do 5 rows without dropping stitches or messing anything else up we moved on to the main thing

Making socks. Aunt Patti says there are 4 ways to make socks, one is to crochet them, two is to use a bendy knitting needle, three uses 3 or more needles to make a ring, and the fourth is to knit it flat and sew a seam along the bottom and back.

She is showing me the crochet method first, mostly because I already know how to crochet. It only took about an hour for us to crochet the first sock, and I made the second one in about 45 minutes. They are thick and although they turned out well, I think this pair will be better suited as slippers. I will need a thinner yarn and to fit it to the foot to wear it several times to get the close fit required to wear them in shoes comfortably.

Sunday, September 11th

Maggie had the lesson today and it was about James 1:5; which says "If any of you lack wisdom, let him ask of G-d, that giveth to all men liberally, and upbraideth not: and it shall be given him."

Learning is something G-d wants us to do, and if we want to know something He will help us figure it out. G-d loves us each individually, and wants us to return to Him. He wants us to learn everything we can. If we really want to know something, and it will be useful to us, He will tell us what we need to know.

Joseph Smith Jr., had a burning question that was important to him, and even though he was a poor uneducated boy, God spoke to him face to face to answer his one simple question. Which church should I join?

The Brother of Jared was going on a long journey in a boat to a place he knew nothing about. He was going to be shut up inside a boat, in the dark for weeks or more. He prayed and asked G-d what to do for light and it was given to him.

Joseph was far from home and in prison for a crime he didn't commit. In order to have any hope of getting out he had to tell Pharaoh Pharaohs own dream and interpret it. He prayed and all was shown to him.

Shawn, Mama, Jennie, and all the rest of the people in the barn are so bad off. The smell is awful, like the way that swelled up deer carcass Shawn and I came upon that one time. Shawn dared me to poke it with a stick and it was so rotten that the stick punctured its side. The smell was exactly like how the barn smells. It's so bed you can smell it from near the worn dirt ring that goes around when the wind is blowing. As if that wasn't bad enough, Shawn isn't the only one starting to lose pieces. Mama's scalp is completely peeled off and her left ear is dangling. Jennie has skinless patches all over. The others aren't faring any better and some are far worse.

I can't stand it. I can't stop thinking about it. I just can't. I'm starting to think Maggie is right. If they do find a cure, and their minds heel that would be amazingly wonderful. But what about all the damage to their bodies, could that ever be fixed? If they're dead what do we do with them? If they're dead, what is making them move? Are they possessed? Is it something else?

I think I'm going to ask of G-d. I'm going to fast and pray starting as soon as I get ready for bed. If I am meant to know, I will know. If I'm not then I won't. But I'm going to give it to G-d and let him handle it in his own time and in his own way.

I'm going to finish knitting my stockinet square before dark, and then I am going to go to bed.


	5. Chapter 5

For the disclaimer, please see the Authors Note at the beginning of Chapter 1

The Journals of Elizabeth Anne Green

Chapter 5

Monday, September 12th

I made two more baskets today. I guess I was pretty slow with the first one Friday, or maybe the extra soaking made the willows easier to work with. The point is, that they came out about the same shape and size as the first one. If you set them next to each other you can see that the weaving gets tighter and more even with each basket. I have enough left to make one more small basket but my hands are sore so I'm just going to let them soak until tomorrow and make it then. I think I'm going to put a handle on it and use it to keep clothes pins in.

We all spent an hour or so in the garden weeding. It's sweaty work but we still managed to have fun. At one point it turned into a weed fight. I'm not sure who started it, but it ended as soon as Daddy walked up and in his quiet calm way asked "What is going on?" Surprisingly enough it only took about ten minutes or so to clean up the mess.

We filled the wheelbarrow twice, there were so many. I think weeding once a week isn't enough. We should probably do it Fridays also. The weed heap is getting pretty big and will need to be burned soon. We don't compost the weeds because that would mean we are adding weed seeds to the garden every time we add compost.

I think I'm going to get a head start on the next book even though Jimmy hasn't finished Gulliver's Travels. The Sea Hawk sounds so interesting.

Tuesday, September 13th

Today in algebra we reviewed natural numbers, whole numbers, integers, rational numbers, irrational numbers and real numbers. Basically, natural numbers are what you learn to count with, like 1, 2, 3, 4, 5. Or 100, or 1000, and so on. Whole numbers are natural numbers plus zero. Integers are whole numbers plus negative numbers. Rational numbers are everything I just mentioned and positive or negative fractions or decimals that end or repeat. Irrational numbers are like π or .

Jimmy is having a rough time with this already so I made him a venn diagram. I think that maybe he should be in Algebra 1. We will be in the review stuff for the rest of the week and he is already getting confused.

I also found a few summer squash and zucchini that have ripened early so I brought them in for dinner later. Soon the late garden is going to be ready.

The late garden is mostly things like turnips, rutabagas, cabbage, kale, peanuts, potatoes, pumpkins, gourds, beans and squashes. Mostly things that I haven't seen Mama can. The navy, pinto and kidney beans will be dried. The peanuts will get pulled up, shaken off and left in the sun for a day or so before being stored in bushel baskets in the root cellar. The potatoes will be stored in straw in the potato bins. The rutabagas and turnips will be stored similarly to the potatoes. The Cabbage will be covered in straw and burlap right where they are growing, except for the ones we can as sauerkraut. Only the kale, summer squash and zucchini and maybe a pumpkin or two will be canned. The rest will be stored stacked in the cellar cushioned by burlap or straw.

Daddy's pants are getting thread bare, as are Maggie's and mine. Maggie and I don't mind. Especially with how hot it's been. Daddy has always preferred the freshly pressed look. I think I should go ahead and reinforce his knees on the inside so that I can avoid patching for a while.

I think I got all the socks fixed for the time being. I didn't come across any holey ones while washing today.

Also, the smaller basket came out a bit big for clothes pins, but it's just right for gathering herbs and vegetables. It came out about the size of a bushel basket.

I used it to gather all the early yellow squash and zucchini from the garden. I cooked some of it to go with dinner. The rest I was able to can as a medley into nine quart sized jars. I am pretty proud of myself because I did it without any help. I surprised Maggie and Patti both. Patti declared the seals to be sound and complete. I can hardly wait to show Daddy when he comes in tonight.

Wednesday, September 14th

Another day watching the clover grow from up in the tree house. At least I have Sir Oliver, Rosamund and Lionel to keep me company. Manners and customs were all so different in the 1600's. I'm very surprised that Jimmy would pick out such a romantic story.

I have spent most of my time up here preparing for Sunday. It's my turn to present a lesson this Sunday. I'm used to singing in front of people. I do it a lot, what with the choir and all. Sometimes I sing duets with Shawn or Sister Morrison. She taught me about breath control and how to sing with my mouth and not my nose and how to use singing muscles and sight reading and stuff. Doing a lesson is a lot different. When I sing, I sing what someone else wrote. I don't worry so much that someone will think my song is stupid or should have been written better. With a lesson I have to make sure I stay on topic, and stick to doctrine, and make sure everyone understands what my point is. Fortunately I have a lesson book to help me out. Gospel Principles chapter 8 is about prayer. Maybe there is a song in the Hymnal that goes with the lesson that I can base my teaching on.

The laundry wasn't so bad today, but the lye is hard on the hands. I'm glad that Mrs. Haywood brought all that lotion. It has really helped. I have to say that it's a good thing that I only have to do laundry once a week. Otherwise I'm pretty sure that my skin would be looking like Jennie's about now, even with a gallon of the world's best hand lotion ever. I've been using the lotion Mrs. Haywood made from beeswax, reduced hyssop, raspberry leaf and rose hip tincture and cream into. It's is the best. The beeswax makes it act like a moisture barrier to keep skin from drying out. The cream soothes and conditions, and the herbal tincture is supposed to be soothing and promote healing. Unfortunately its almost gone, but just maybe we can trade some berry preserves for some more of her lotion.

Thursday, September 15th

Daddy and Otis smoked the bees today and checked the hives. Daddy keeps the bees for pollination. Without them none of our orchard crops or berry picking would come out so good. Daddy wants to go ahead and spin the combs. Daddy usually leaves them a comb or two. Between now and winter they will have built up enough honey to last the winter with a fair bit left when they start bustin' out production in the spring.

Patti says we can finally use those old spring lidded canning jars for something, honey. They will be ok to put it in because of the natural peroxides and antibiotic nature of honey, as long as it's covered it won't go bad. One of Daddy's bee keeping books mentioned that honey found in the tombs of the pharaohs was tested and found to still be edible.

As a result, I spent a good portion of the morning hauling water and scrubbing dust incrusted jars.

Math is going ok. We reviewed absolute values, and working with positive and negative numbers. I think Jimmy is making Maggie want to pull her hair out. Bless his heart, he tries. I think He is even starting to get it but Maggie is putting him in the Algebra 1 book Monday if he doesn't show major improvement. We are in the review section, but a lot of the time he looks at it all like it's all new and he hasn't seen it before.

Patti gave me a second set of penmanship strokes to practice Monday and as you should be able to tell, its working quite a bit. I'm kind of waffling about trying to write like Mama or Old Man Jim. Mama has very large round loopy handwriting. It looks all fluffy like a string of pillows with smiles in the O's and hearts over her I's. Mama is such a cheerful optimist, and it shows in everything she does. Even in her handwriting. She has never been able to fit very much onto a page though. Old Man Jims handwriting is so neat and crisp and elegant. Even with the twists and curls everywhere. I showed both to Daddy and asked what he thought. Daddy says my handwriting should be a reflection of my personality, and that I should experiment a little and combine what I like best about each style. Patti says that Old Man Jim's writing is called Spenserian Script. She had some information about it in the book she has been getting my practice strokes from. So I guess time will only tell how it turns out.

Friday, September 16th

Sticky doesn't begin to describe today. Sweet too. We got about 4 gallons of honey out of each hive. That means we ran out of jars. We had 37 quart jars and the rest was put into 8 of the 5 gallon buckets we had stacked in the shed. Originally horse treats had come in them, and once they had been thoroughly cleaned Daddy said they would be okay to put food in.

As you can see I have settled on Spenserian script with less twists and swirls, and heart dotted I's. The more I write like this the more natural it gets. It's not as twisty and spiky as Old Man Jim's and the only thing it has in common with Mama's is the hearts, but, I like it.

I'm going to go knit in the barn and watch Moonbeam play. I have now made about 20 squares but it's going to take about 3 times that many to make a blanket to fit across my bed.

Saturday, September 17th

I really like The Sea Hawk. It is not a romance and I don't much like Lionel.

We made candle molds out of paper towel tubes and aluminum foil. We lined the paper towel tubes with the foil and put tin can lids on the bottom with just enough wax to seal the lid to the foil. We put the wicks through a hole in the bottom of the lids with a yarn needle and tied the other end to a piece of stick. Then we poured the beeswax into the paper towel tubes. We let them cool for a while and had to refill them a few times because as the wax cools it shrinks. Monday they should be ready. We only have 5 paper towel tubes so we are going to have to make them last. At the rate of five candles a day it's going to take weeks to make all of the wax into candles. I was able to talk Patti out of a good sized chunk, and I intend to use it to make herbal lip balm. We have made this batch of candles plain but we might experiment with adding herbs to make them smell nice.

I heard Maggie and Daddy arguing out by the barn. Maggie was trying to convince Daddy and Otis that the people in the barn aren't sick. Patti was with me. We were going to get the wheel barrow that we keep under the lean to shed by the barn.

We had been working in the garden and were going to use it to haul off the weeds to the burn heap. Patty has been pretty quiet about the whole thing.

Patty is going to show Jimmy and I how to collect seeds from some of the plants in the garden. They aren't ready yet, but she is just going to explain about how plants produce seeds and what to look for.

Sunday, September 18th

Today was my turn to teach the lesson and Maggie played the hymns. I think it went ok, I think. I had looked at hymns I could use but nothing really seemed right so I used "I Pray I Faith" from the "Childrens' Song Book" It is one of my favorites so here it is. I thought of putting it in the Ruby Notebook but I decided it will be better here.

"I kneel to pray ev'ry day.

I speak to Heavenly Father.

He hears and answers me,

When I pray in faith.

I begin by saying "Dear Heavenly Father";

I thank Him for blessings he sends;

Then humbly I ask him for things that I need,

In the name of Jesus Christ, Amen."

I went with the Lord's Prayer for most of the lesson. It's really the perfect model to base a prayer on.

Jesus started by calling on our Father in Heaven and reverenced G-d. He humbly deferred to Our Fathers will instead of demanding to get his way. He asked G-d politely for things that he needed or wanted. He asked for spiritual healing and forgiveness. He asked for the strength to forgive others and prayed for his enemies. He asked G-g for help in bearing his trials and for help through them. He then acknowledged that everything is in G-d's hands and praised G-d.

I also mentioned that we can pray to show gratitude and thanksgiving. I covered attitude towards G-d and reverence, and that while form is good, sincerity is better.

All in all, I think I did okay.

Monday, September 19th

Maggie and I made peanut butter and honey candy chews with the final part of a can of Skippy she found in the back of a cabinet. The most tedious part is cutting the waxed paper into squares and wrapping them, but it's so worth it. I think the best part is getting to lick all the gooey mess off my hands. When Daddy came in for lunch he was thrilled and surprised to see them wrapped all pretty and sitting in a dish in the middle of the table. Uncle Otis and Jimmy liked them too. I put the instructions in the Ruby Notebook.

We are running low on yeast so we made a sourdough starter today. It should be ready in time to bake next Tuesday.

I think I will put all the recipes we like to use in there from now on since I'm almost out of room in this one. I copied the recipe for fried apples into it too, even though it's almost full also.

We made some more candles this morning. That will make a total of 10 candles. We will probably be making candles for weeks at this rate.

Tuesday, September 20th

Homeschooling continues. Math goes well. I went ahead and finished the review chapter on my own yesterday and am starting to do actual equations. I only have a couple more chapters to go in "The Sea Hawk". You can see that the handwriting continues to improve. I found an old copy of "A Short History of The American People". The copyright was 1919 I think. Anyway, I've been reading it because it has more details and is less wordy than the books Maggie grabbed at the library. On the down side it only goes up to a few years before WWI. I read history with Jimmy and he was able to read what I wrote when I answered the end of chapter questions. I also started to read the first chapter of a botany book that was on one of the stacks of books from the library. It started out with plant anatomy, physiology and reproduction.

Took the candles out of the tubes this morning and started 5 more. I fed the sour dough start. I fed, watered and groomed the horses and cleaned the stalls. I then hauled water into the house for Patti and helped get lunch on.

I seem to have a lot of time on my hands, and at the same time I'm busier than I've ever been. I would normally be up at 5:00 to get ready for school. I would feed and water the horses and collect eggs. I would get on the bus at 6:55 am. I'd be in classes with my friends until 3:00 in the afternoon. The bus would drop me off at 3:35ish and I would come inside and tell Mama about everything that happened during the day and eat whatever snack she had waiting. I would do homework or talk to Gertie or Jennie on the phone for a while or go riding. I would help Mama make dinner. After dinner I would do dishes and finish homework or watch TV. At 8:30 we would read scriptures and have a family prayer before bed. Then a shower and if I wasn't sleepy, I would read a little before saying my own prayers and going to sleep.

Now I get up at 5 and start chores. Jimmy and I are doing more schoolwork than I did at school and we seem to be finishing before lunch. I have a lot of projects going on that I didn't have before. Laundry, mending, the garden and all the handy crafty stuff I've been doing. There is no TV to watch. No friends to socialize with. No boys to gaze at, no crushes, nothing to giggle with the other girls about. No helping each other get our hair just right in the bathroom. I never go to bed and not fall asleep with my prayers still on my lips.

I don't miss the hectic rush and constant overbearing schedule. I just miss everyone. Even Brandy. I never thought I could possibly miss her ever, but I think I would give anything to hear her tease me about not having had a boyfriend.

I always figured I would have been on a date by now. I'm 16. I have been for 2 and a half months. Jimmy would date me with the slightest bit of encouragement, but no. Maybe if I had spent some time with the Haywood boys while everyone was working on and at the mill. I guess I was too much Martha and not enough Mary.

You know, Jesus was visiting some of his disciples and Martha spent the whole time cooking and cleaning and working really hard to make sure Jesus was able to be comfortable and enjoy his visit. Her sister Mary spent the whole time sitting at his feet listening to him and keeping him company. At one point Martha got a bit irritated that Mary wasn't doing anything to help. Jesus said that he wasn't always going to be around and that Martha should lighten up and just hang out a bit because the cleaning and cooking would always be there to do.

I think, sometimes I get so involved in doing lately, that I haven't taken a lot of time to hang out. I totally missed out on swimming in the creek with Maggie and the Haywood boys, because even when it was Patti or Mrs. Haywood's turn to sew bags shut, I kept busy with other things. How can any of the available boys notice me if I won't stop to give them the time of day? Thinking back on it, James tried to talk to me and keep me company. I guess I kind of blew him off without realizing it. I could have pretended to be more interested in electronics and computers and stuff. I just don't feel interested at all. Hank is nice, and cute and has a girlfriend. She went to a camp and he has her dog until she is back. The rest are way too old to consider. Except for Steven and Daniel. Way to young. Eww.

Wednesday, September 21st

Maggie saw me scribbling away yesterday and insisted on seeing what I've been writing. I said no and it turned into a big fuss. It's not like this is full of secrets. It's just not her business. However, I should have known the best way to pique her interest would have been to say no. So a very short tug of war ensued and she ran with it. That's why this sparkly blue notebook is now a sparkly blue with a crease down the front. Daddy says we were both wrong. I don't think we were both wrong. You shouldn't take other peoples things. Daddy said I shouldn't have called her a heifer, and maybe I shouldn't have. This is where I write my thoughts. It's not like I really have anyone I can talk to about stuff. Jimmy would think I 'liked' him if I talked to him about this stuff, Maggie would call me a whiney kid. Daddy I could talk to, but he and Otis have been really busy with the farms. Patti is good to talk to but I don't feel close enough to her to talk about this kind of stuff. Actually, even if I had Jenny back to normal and if Gertie was still alive I probably wouldn't say so much. I kind of like being able to write down my private thoughts somewhere. Maybe someday I will want to share it with someone, but not for Maggie's amusement. Daddy did ask her to apologize, but I don't think she meant it. I think she finds it all very funny. At least she was too busy running to read any of it.

Thursday, September 22nd

Last night Patti declared my knitting to be good enough to try knitting a sock so she has me knitting a flat sock. When I get to the heel part she is going to show me how to increase to make the heels. I'm guessing from the progress I've made so far that will be Saturday or Monday. I've started a second one just like the first. I figure that if I knit them at the same time they will look more alike.

I guess I should be more forgiving and less selfish. I suppose it's possible that Maggie is bored and misses her friends and classes too. She spends a lot of time outside riding Jasper. Maybe I should tag along and keep her company. She had a job lined up at the college as part of the work study program that she missed out on. There were activities, boys, trips and all kinds of things to do at the university.

I guess I haven't been too good at thinking about peoples positives when they make me mad. I just feel so smothered and closed in by everything and have no outlet to get rid of it. Like I'm imprisoned in my own skin. I have been trying to stay busy so that I don't have time to think about anything. The thing is that while I scrub the laundry I have nothing to do but think. When I'm ironing I have nothing to do but think. When I'm mending or knitting or crocheting or cooking or cleaning or darning or sewing or hauling water or feeding horses or grooming them or riding them or taking care of the chickens or ANYTHING MY BRAIN IS SCREAMING AT A THOUSAND THOUGHTS A SECOND AND WON'T SHUT UP!

I think I can finally relate to that thing that Gertie used to play sometimes by Dir En Grey. The one with all the screaming, "Stuck Man", I think it's called.

I finished "The Sea Hawk" yesterday. It was a good diversion. It was an interesting story. It's focus was on loyalty to family and why it's important and what happens when it goes wrong. Also about loosing faith and hopelessness and striving in the face of adversity and making the most of bad situations. It also showed that if you live for revenge it can destroy you.

I'm going to start on "How to Win Friends and Influence People". I know it seems silly. I haven't seen people to befriend or influence in a month. The Haywood's aren't going to be around much. They are busy keeping their farm running same as we are. Plus, I already know them and don't think I could influence them much. I'm just glad Mrs. Haywood seems to have forgotten us scaring the heck out of her that time.

Friday, September 23rd

I got to sit and talk to Daddy in his office today. It was nice. I used to talk to him all the time, it's just that lately I guess I kind of closed up to everybody. Daddy is always so calm and understanding, and he reminded me that I can always talk to him and that he will always make time for me. He held me and let me cry. It's been a while since I hugged anyone. I'm going to have to work on that. He reminded me that usually it's the little things that pile up on us. He asked Otis to come in and help him give me a blessing. It was a blessing of comfort and guidance.

He gave me a really good quote and I don't want to forget it. Marilyn French said "Men stumble over pebbles, never over mountains"

So what are my pebbles?

Lack of a social life. But is it my own fault? If I withdraw from the people I do have, aren't I making my situation worse? So what can I do? I need to spend a set minimum amount of time with everyone. Daddy is setting aside a half hour every night so that we can tell each other about our day. I will have to make an effort to see everyone else.

Jimmy. I am just going to have to bring my feelings (or lack of) in to the open. The truth will set me free and maybe we can be normal again. I'm tired of having to avoid the person closest to my age.

Physical contact is important to people. I need to hug the family that I can. Mama and Shawn are gone for now but I can appreciate those who are still here with me.

Well, I told Patti that I would help her with a batch of sauerkraut, so later.

Saturday, September 24th

Well, the late garden is about ready. Patti and I started 8 gallons of sauerkraut. I thought a batch would be a few quarts, maybe a gallon. Today we made another "batch". This time with the red cabbage. We also pickled beets. Needless to say, several of the dish towels, Maggie's, Patti's and my hands are now a pinky red color.

Another thing that caused color changes was a very uncomfortable conversation with Jimmy. I don't think that this is ever going to be resolved in a satisfactory manner. He actually tried to kiss me. He even said that once I realized how much chemistry we have, I will see that he is the one for me. I kneed him in the balls and left him in the barn. As I was walking away he called out that "You just need a little time. That's ok. I can wait." Only a little time to him will be centuries for me.

Maggie and I went riding together and checked the fences. It was nice. We talked about lots of things and picked half a bushel of currants.

Otis has been talking about trying to bag a couple of deer. He and Jimmy will probably go in a week or so.

First he wants to go by his house and grab his blind and his guns, ammunition and reloading stuff. Monday he is going to start teaching Jimmy how to reload ammunition. Daddy hasn't seemed to keen on the idea. In general, Daddy isn't too fond of guns. He has a couple, but he always emphasizes that they are tools for a grim task, and that their use should never be taken lightly. There is a shed that isn't really used for anything over near the barn where Mama and the others are staying. Daddy said that Otis can set his stuff up there.

Pattie showed me how to increase for the heel and then decrease for the foot and close up the toe. When we finished both, she showed me how to stitch them shut with a crochet hook. So I now have a new pair of socks. Daddy was impressed when I showed him. He wants me to make him a pair. I think that when Patti and I use the double ended flexible knitting needles I will make the socks his size. We are going to start those ones on Monday.

Sunday, September 25th

Otis had the lesson today about prophets. Adam was the first prophet. He walked with G-d in Eden and taught all the people of the earth in his time about G-d. He also covered some of the other ones like Moses, Methuselah, Lehi and Nephi in ancient times. He covered modern prophets like Joseph Smith Jr. and Russell Nelson. He mentioned reoccurring themes that most prophets seem to stick to, follow the commandments, repent, and be good to each other.

I made a dried apple and currant pie for desert. It turned out perfect. Maggie made brussels sprouts in butter sauce and the salad. The salad was very different but good. She used greens growing along the tree line and dandelions with lettuce, kale and spinach from the garden. She has been trying to use stuff out of the books she got on edible wild plants. It's been a little bit hit or miss. Sometimes it's delicious and sometimes it's just not. I think she is really starting to figure out what tastes good though. The basil and dill vinaigrette she put with it was nice too. Patti made candied carrots and a roast chicken.

Otis and I played music this evening to entertain everyone. He plays banjo really well. I played some on the piano and Jimmy played guitar. It was almost like old times. The only thing missing was Shawn's harmonica.

Monday, September 26th

Today we dug up peanuts. Well, actually, we didn't. Uncle Otis, Daddy, Jimmy and Maggie dug up peanuts. Aunt Patti and I knocked the dirt off them with screens and put them in bushel baskets after we knocked all the peanuts out of the roots. We were all completely covered in dirt by the time we were done. I don't just mean a little dusty either. I mean rolled in a mud bog dirty. 6 bog monsters minus the gooey part. Everyone had a turn at the pump rinsing off the dirt, clothes on and everything. I can honestly say that until today, I have never been too dirty to take a bath. Once we were clean enough to bathe, water hauling began.

I probably haven't mentioned this but we have been bathing in the far stall of the stables. It's in the old part of the stables next to the tack room. There is a good reason for it, kind of. One being that most everyone has agreed that hauling water up the stairs to the tub is just more than anyone is willing to do, and, dumping water over ones head a cup at a time is an ineffective way to get lye out of your hair. It bleached Maggie's hair by a couple of shades.

It's close to the pump, only a 20 yard trip each way. Also, Daddy, Otis and Jimmy were able to dig out a small trench so that we can easily drain the tub and it will run under the wall and away from the stables, towards the pasture without creating a swamp. There is also a small wood burning stove we can use to heat enough water for lukewarm baths. Even if someone comes in the barn you can't accidentally be seen. Maggie made sure of that by installing some shower curtains to all sides of it.

The soap came out a bit soft. Like, it's in a fancy pump dispenser because it's so soft. I refilled it a few days ago with goat's milk and lavender lye soap. It works very well. It will remove whatever is clinging to you, dirt, sweat and oils to the point that lotion and conditioner are a must or your hair will feel coarse and your skin like sandpaper. I have found that it's not so bad as long as you only use a little, and don't expect it to lather. Instead, I try to distribute it evenly and scrub until I can hear my fingers squeak against my hair and scalp.

I never spent so much effort on grooming without trying to impress a boy before.

Tomorrow we are making peanut butter, and when the oil rises to the top we can pour it off into jars to cook with. Peanut butter and jelly, yum. I haven't had a peanut butter and jelly sandwich in a month at least. It never seems to last very long. Maggie and Shawn can eat it by the spoonful. So gross. And then, just because they know I can't stand it, they come up to me to breathe their peanut butter breath in my face. They would sometimes wake me up like that when we were kids.

Anyway, it will be nice to have actual oil to cook with. Bacon drippings and lard work well, but they don't really cook the potatoes as crisply or fried chicken either.

Tuesday, September 27th

Today everyone but me dug and gathered potatoes this morning. I was off the hook to bake bread, which suited me just fine. Between rising and kneading, I shelled peanuts. I drug one of the wash tubs inside, and it is my goal to fill the whole thing with shelled peanuts to make peanut butter with. I sang the "peanut, peanut butter and jelly" song and 'Goober Peas" and just about every other song I know about peanuts. Maggie said she could hear me all the way outside and complained that I was makin her crazy. She really doesn't like "Goober Peas". It always gets stuck in her head and she ends up humming it and she hates it.

They dug up a lot of potatoes. Almost 50 bushels. I don't know how we are going to use so many. I guess we can replant whatever we have left in the spring for a new crop or maybe trade them to the Haywood's. Then again, maybe Old Man Jim would like some to make into that vodka recipe he wrote about.

Daddy was taken aback when he started digging up almost black potatoes. At first he thought an entire section of the field had rot of some kind. I heard his exclamation and went to see what the matter was. It turned out that he came to where Mama and I had planted some heirloom potatoes. They are supposed to look dark purple to dark blue. I love blue and talked Mama into buying a 3 lb. bag of the starts. I cooked some of them up as scalloped potatoes for dinner this evening. I have to say that it did look weird. Pretty as a picture, but weird. They were delicious, if I do say so, and everyone else seemed to like it too. There wasn't any left over.

On another note, while Otis and Jimmy worked on reloading, and Daddy and Maggie checked the fences, Patti showed me how to turn a heel with the flexible needle. She explained and showed me, then she pulled it all out and had me show her. She had me undo it a few times, but 11 was the charm. Then I had to show her on the other one to make sure I had it down. That took 3 tries. Then she pulled it out and had me show her again, to make sure I won't make mistakes with the next pair. When I get the feet done tomorrow she will show me how to finish off the toes. Well, I have already finished the feet. I also started a pair of purple ones for Maggie. I'm almost to the heel on one and intend to finish them tomorrow while I wait for the laundry to dry.

By the way, we now have 40 paper towel roll sized beeswax candles. I think we will be done in about 2 more batches. Also, the washtub is now over half full of shelled peanuts.

Wednesday, September 28th

Once again I got out of getting dirty in the garden in favor of other work. Laundry to be specific. Farming makes for dirty clothes. So does gardening. Digging out root crops is especially filthy, all the dirtiest laundry tends to stay in a pile in the barn. I suppose that's not necessarily a bad thing because the dirt raining off of them would have made a gianormous mess everywhere. I started by hanging out and beating the worst with a broom. I eventually gave up and did a preliminary wash in the pond and then brought it all back in the wheelbarrow to wash for real. This set me back about 2 hours or so, but now I know to just go to the pond first thing with bad dirty laundry.

One thing I have to say about the lye soap is that it got the dishtowels from pinky red back to white with almost no effort on my part.

While the laundry was drying I managed to get to the toe portion of the socks. Daddy's I did in a plain stockinet stitch. I'm making Maggie's with a pearled stitch.

Well, I read the first chapter of "How to Win Friends and Influence people". Don't criticize people. Don't condemn people and don't complain about them. So, I guess that's my new goal. It had a good quote too. "G-d himself, sir, does not propose to judge man until the end of his days. Why should you or I?" He made several good points. None that will probably help me with the Jimmy problem, but useful. Basically, criticizing people never gets the result you want, if it gets any result at all. All criticism does, even constructive criticism, is hurts feelings and plants the seeds of resentment. Instead tell people what they are doing right. People like to be praised and when they know how to get it they will do what you want.

Patti showed me how to do the toes of the socks. It wasn't nearly as hard as I had imagined. Maggie and Daddy like their socks. I intend to knit them and myself several pairs. The ones we have been wearing are getting tread bare and there is only so much darning you can do.

Today when I was darning one of Maggie's socks I noticed a difference in texture from the rest of the sock. I realized that I was darning next to and over an area I had darned before. I think that eventually some of the socks are going to be nothing but darn upon darn and next to darn with no original threads what so ever. Just for fun I've been darning all my own socks with bright contrasting colors. This way I will know for sure when my socks have reached the point on entire darn. I think they will look amazing.

Thursday September 29th

Everyone but me worked in the garden again. Turnips, rutabagas and the rest of the beets have been pulled and scrubbed. The carrots and parsnips have to stay in the ground until we are ready to use them. Instead they have been bedded in straw and had burlap rolled over them. Jimmy and Maggie used rocks to hold the burlap down.

What was I doing you may ask? I was ironing linens and shirts and pants and skirts. I also made a pick nick lunch for everyone so that they wouldn't track dirt all over my freshly scrubbed, waxed and buffed floors. I was even nice enough to lay outfits out in the stable for everyone. I also had bathwater ready so they could all take turns before coming in the house. I made dinner all by myself too. Bluish purple mashed potatoes and red eye gravy, cooked spicy kale with crumbled bacon and marinated vegetable medley with tomato wedges, summer squash, zucchini, bell pepper rings and cucumber.

For desert I made a small batch of peanut brittle. It should last a few days because no one needs more than a few pieces at a time. I was kind of concerned with how it would turn out because I substituted honey for the corn syrup. I think I actually like it better this way. Patti loved it but couldn't put a finger on the difference. I think I will just keep it my secret. And I'm putting it in my Ruby Red notebook. The washtub is almost full of shelled peanuts. I should be making peanut butter soon.

Patti showed me how to knit in a circle using 3 or more needles. It was a bit confusing at first but I manage to get the hang of it. It is more complex but it's easier to the size of the circumference of the socks. I started a pair of navy blue socks for Daddy. I am alternating socks with each row to make sure I do them exactly the same. I hope that by Saturday I will be ready to turn the heels. I think it will be similar to the flexible needle but I want Patti with me when I do it so she can stop me if I start to mess up.

Friday, September 30th

I un-wrapped the final batch of candles. This one was smaller than the other batches. The last bit of wax made 3 and maybe almost a half candle. We have a total of 53 candles. Now all we need to do is test one out and see how long it will burn. I put the paper towel rolls can lids and aluminum foil together carefully on top of the back of the china hutch. I intend to use them again next year if things stay like this. We don't throw anything away anymore. I don't know if we will be getting any paper towels again for a long time.

We haven't had toilet paper in months. Instead we have been keeping corn husks in a bucket of water by the toilet. And because we don't want to clog anything when we finish with one, we put it in the bucket with the tight lid. Someone carries the bucket of used corn husks to the manure heap in the evening. To flush we use an old ice cream bucket to scoop a half gallon of water out of the tub and pour it into the tank. Flushing is worth hauling water upstairs to the bathroom for. I check a couple of times a day to make sure the tub is filled deep enough to scoop out of.

I almost want to broach the topic of building an outhouse and placing it directly over the septic tanks lid. That's how they do it at the national parks. That or the recycling mineral oil toilets they had when Young Womens Camp was at that state park. I can't remember the name of it. It was named after an Indian tribe I think. The mineral oil toilets are not within our means I know. One of the leaders tried to explain that it is a closed system and that the "liquid waste product" being water based would float above the oil and could then be siphoned off. The solid would be caught in screens for removal. Gross!

I think I will mention it to Daddy. It would mean not having to haul water up the stairs, to the tune of 15 gallons a day. I never used to realize how much water we used just urinate and defecate. That's 7 or 8 trips to the pump and back everyday. No worry that someone might accidently forget not to flush the husks. No more buckets of poopy corn husks to toss on the manure heap. Oh, and no more hauling water.

Now that I look at it in writing I can't see any con's except that we would have to wake someone up to go with us to use the toilet at night. It would be a shame if anyone else were to be bit because they went alone to use the bathroom. On the other hand, I recall that we found several chamber pots complete with lids, that could be used for a middle of the night emergency

On another note, I think I will be ready by tomorrow evening to do the heels on my current pair of socks. I have a little bit of red yarn I want to use for the heels and toes. I'm going to ask Patti to show me how to do color changes. I like the navy blue but it's a bit boring all by itself. I also want to make Maggie a pair of white and purple striped socks with the same purple I made her other pair with. I'm going to crochet a ruffled edging on them too. Just so we can match I'm making my pair like hers except opposite. Mine will be white where hers are purple, and purple where hers are white and have a white crochet ruffle. I know, I have such big plans.

Saturday, October 1st

Daddy said the idea of an outhouse has some merit, but that it requires special permits to do. I want to make him want to build an outhouse. Complaining and being critical won't make him feel like doing what I want. Carnegie Principal #1 "Don't criticize, condemn or complain." I didn't. I merely stated the advantages. Except that most of the advantages don't affect him. Most of the advantages revolve around hauling water and used corn husks. Making him not like some aspect of continuing to use the indoor toilets would be kind of like making him want an alternative. I don't think he would be too worried about getting permits if he was lugging his own water.

No one assigned me to water duty. I've just been doing it cause it needed done. Maybe I'll just quit as quietly as I started. If I only haul my own water I can use the bathroom just fine. I can keep a bucket of water in my room and just grab it when I need it. Maybe if other Daddy has to haul his own flush water he might change his mind. Principal #3 "Arouse in the other person an eager want." Thank you, Mr. Carnegie.

On another note and in line with Carnegie principle #2 "Give honest and sincere appreciation." To show Patti how much I appreciate all she has shown me I'm sewing an apron for her. She left hers at the mill on accident and has been using one of Mama's. It's ok for her to use them, Heaven knows there are half a dozen hanging in the pantry, but I know she would rather have her own.

I found the cloth in the cellar when we were cleaning it out. It is pink and green plaid with watermelon slices and random seeds printed all over it. It's full bib and has nice deep pockets on the skirt and ruffles on the bottom. It goes on kind of like a smock and has a button in the back instead of ties. The only things I have left to do are pressing it and finishing the button. The pattern called for a big 2" button. I found a branch that was the right size and managed to cut a few slices off of it. One of them turned out perfect, not to thin, not to thick and pretty even. I've already sanded it and painted it up like a round slice of watermelon. I just don't know how to get the holes in it without messing it up. I'm going to ask Daddy to plug in his drill and do it while he has the generator running for the freezers.

I had enough calico left over from the apron to make her a kerchief, like she likes to wear when she is cooking. She generally insists that anyone cooking should wear something on their hair to keep their hair out of the food and food off of their hair.

Mr. Carnegies 3rd chapter was about thinking about what other people want. An example he gave was that he really likes strawberries and cream, but if he goes fishing he isn't going to put a strawberry on the hook because even though he likes strawberries a lot he realizes that the fish want worms and grasshoppers. Even though he doesn't like grass hoppers, that's what he offers them. Because that's what they want. They don't care that he likes strawberries. They want grass hoppers. So that's what He gives them. I want socks but Patti has a lot of socks. I'm pretty sure she wants an apron.

Sunday, October 2nd

Today Aunt Patti had the lesson. It was on the scriptures. Lots of religions have holy books. Shinto has the Konkyusha, Muslims have the Quran, Buddhists have the Tripitaka, Christians have the Bible and Jews have the Tanakh. The Tanakh is basically the Old Testament.

Scriptures are the written teachings of men who are considered to be inspired by G-d or wise men. It can generally be summed up by the 8th Article of Faith: "We believe the Bible to be the word of G-d as far as it is translated correctly; we also believe the Book of Mormon to be the word of G-d." Since we believe in the Bible and the Old Testament we believe the Tanakh. We believe that some of the Apocrypha is inspired of G-d and some of it as solely the work of men. The church does not generally use the Apocrypha and doesn't officially recognize what parts are actual scripture. It just says that if you desire to study it, do so prayerfully and rely on the guidance of the spirit.

Since we have a living Prophet we are always getting new scripture at conferences and in the Ensign, and the older new scripture in the Doctrine and Covenants and the Pearl of Great Price. As far as studying the scriptures prayerfully goes, it should always be done with an eye towards G-d.

On another note, Daddy drilled the holes in the button for me. I was able to finish Patti's apron last night and gave it to her this morning. She looked so surprised. She didn't realize I knew how to sew. When I came up here she was wearing it and the kerchief while doing dishes with Maggie.

Monday, October 3rd

Daddy, Otis and Jimmy are cutting the last batch of hay for the year. They are confident that they can cut it all today and tomorrow. They figure if the humidity stays low for the next few days it will be dry enough that they can get it all baled and tarped Friday and Saturday.

I finished a square for my quilt, started and finished a square, and started another knitting square. When Mama gets better and sees it she will be thrilled to know that I found a use for all the little balls of yarn she had that just weren't big enough to use for anything. Mama never throws things out, just in case. She isn't a hoarder. She just doesn't waste things that are still full of use.

Once all the mowing is done, Otis and Jimmy are going hunting. They want to bag a few deer. Daddy and Otis have had several discussions about it. Daddy is still a bit uneasy about poaching, but isn't going to stop him. Otis and Jimmy have been hiking in the woods a couple of times looking for game trails and set out a few salt licks and corn where the trails come together near the creak. Technically, baiting the deer isn't allowed but Otis says it's not baiting if you remove all the salt and corn a few days before you go to hunt.

A byproduct of their walks has been the addition of a few more of the ill to the barn. Some of them are so unrecognizable there is no way to identify them any more. Jennie has a hole in her left cheek and in her stomach. We think she got snagged on something and didn't even notice. With all the ill in there now it's dangerous every time we try to put anyone inside. Getting only Jennie so Daddy can sew her stomach up will be impossible. We are just hoping it doesn't get worse. If her bowels get loose she could get an infection, or they could get caught on something and come out completely and get stepped on and dragged about.

Tuesday, October 4th

We canned corn and squash and pumpkin. We only have a few of the canning jars from Aunt Patti's house left, and jars we have already opened over the last month or so. We should be able to get it done by tomorrow. We pickled some of the summer squash and cucumbers and peppers yesterday. All that's left is Brussels sprouts, turnip greens, collards and kale. When we do the leafy greens we will do some all mixed and seasoned. Mixed greens are one of my favorites. Maggie likes Brussels sprouts and broccoli. When we were kids she would get me to eat them by telling me to pretend I was a giant eating little trees whole and cabbages in a single bite.

Whatever jars we have left will be filled with the smallest potatoes. The ones that were less than 1 inch were set aside in a bushel basket. We will can them with onion quarters.

We have been working on grinding the peanuts into peanut butter in small batches. We get one jar at a time. So far we have filled four one quart jars.

Baking got me out of canning a little bit, but I was pulled back into it while bread was rising and baking. My math is going well, as is my reading. I'm actually ahead in the reading list. Jimmy was put back into the pre-algebra book to do a more in depth review. History is better now that my handwriting is getting better. Patti is going to give me the last of the practice exercises on Monday.

She is going to show me how to change colors with knitting tonight while she watches me turn the heels on Daddy's socks. I also want to finish the ribbed square I'm working on. If all goes well I can finish them tonight and start Maggie's tomorrow.

The guys finished all the mowing this afternoon. That leaves them at loose ends for a day or so while the hay dries. Typically Daddy, Otis and Jimmy have all the livestock taken care of by 11or so. Daddy will probably catch up on reading or whittle or tinker with stuff in the barn. I have rarely seen him just sitting. Even when he watches TV he is working on something.

He mentioned something about working on carving a yolk and padding it with leather to make hauling the water easier. He said a yolk would put the weight on my shoulders instead of on pulling on my wrists, elbows and shoulder joints. He used to have one in the barn but it got relegated to the burn pile years ago, shortly after the automated waterers were installed.

I know I was going to stop hauling water to the tub in the upstairs bathroom, but I didn't have the heart to leave the first couple of people stranded when they discovered there wasn't flush water. I also couldn't figure out a way to word my resignation as water girl without sounding bratty and spoiled.

Tomorrow Otis and Jimmy are going to go hunting. They have been reloading in the evenings and brought back the salt licks. They were in good spirits because there was no corn left to sweep up. Jimmy was just wiggling with glee as he related that, "There were spore and tracks galore!"

I think this notebook is only going to be good for a few more entries. I'm kind of glad I snatched that journal now, since when this one is done the only other notebooks I have are for schoolwork and the red one. Sister Fansler once asked the class, "If it were illegal to be a Mormon, would there be enough evidence to convict you?" I think my red notebook could get me acquitted.

Wednesday, October 5th

Canning is officially over for the year. We will have to hope that there is enough put by if it takes longer than the winter to find a cure.

I did laundry and sat in my sheet tent waiting for everything to dry while I worked on my studies. Jimmy sat with Maggie and I. Maggie has been more patient with helping him figure out his math lately.

It is getting cooler, not cold, just cooler, which has got me thinking. I don't know what I'm going to do to dry the laundry when it does get cold. I'm going to ask Patti for some tips on that. I'm kinda leaning towards stringing up a clothes line in the parlor, and putting a shower curtain on the floor under the wash tubs.

I keep expecting to see another Army convoy come to the house to tell us there's a cure. Occasionally we turn on the radio or TV to see if there's anything or one broadcasting news or information of some kind. That song No News, by Lonestar is really starting to resonate with me. I'm anxious lack the of information. Anything would be more comforting than the nothing we have.

Daddy fitted me for the yolk. It is basically a thin, slightly curved piece of wood with a noch carved in the middle to go around the back of my neck. A fitting with Daddy is much different from a fitting with Mama. Mama spends forever pinning tucking and measuring. Daddy took 5 seconds twice. I watched him put padding and leather around it with little copper tacks, while I sat knitting his toes. We finished at about the same time, so I gave him his snazzy new socks and he handed me my yolk. I have to admit that it has made hauling water a lot easier.

Well Otis and Jimmy went hunting and aren't expected back until dark. I've been writing too long. I better get downstairs and beat Daddy, Maggie and Patti at rummy before we have to start dinner.

Thursday October 6th

Oh my goodness so much has happened. Everyone is in a state, I'm in a state and there is no room to write unless I write on the cover. I just don't know a tactful way to put it. They shot a little boy.


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